10 Simple Rules to Eating Well For The Rest Of Your Life

After embarking on a self-discovery journey and asking the questions of what helps me to come alive. I’ve found that I can’t just focus on the Mind and the Spirit. The body is also part of me, and what I eat in particular affects my mood and energy.

We need to be aware of how our body works and how we can take care of it, as it houses our mind and spirit. We do it with our cars, sending them to regular maintenance and feeding them with the right oils and fuels so that they serve us well. Moreover, yet we neglect our bodies and what we eat as if it’s something outside of us and under the domain of some separate higher power.

Would we put petrol in our car when it works on diesel? Would we not put water when the car’s radiator warning light says so? However, we stuff ourselves with processed foods, some far worse than drinking a glass of petrol. We don’t drink enough water during the day even when our internal sign says we should.

 

10 Simple Rules to Eating Well For The Rest Of Your Life
Photo Credit: Brook Cagle

I’m not an expert on food; I don’t even know how you would address the so-called experts in the field of Nutrition. However, after so many years of listening to my body, reading countless books and going on many new diet fads. I feel I have some knowing how to eat and what goes into my mouth.

We are all so different, and yet we are made of the same stuff. The more we quiet the noise outside, and listen to those parts of our body that talk to us. Then the more we connect with our primal intuition and know what food is good for us and what isn’t.

“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.”-Hippocrates

Over the years, I’ve found that if I follow the simple guidelines below, I feel energised, sleep well every day and have no digestive concerns whatsoever.

1)Eat Slowly & Mindfully

We need to cultivate our relationship with food and give it the time and focus that it deserves. We should pay attention to the details of our foods with a simple commitment to appreciate, respect and enjoy the food we eat. We should engage our senses to appreciate food’s nourishing qualities, savoring the tanginess of a lemon or the spiciness of a jalapeno pepper. How can we enjoy food when we scoff our lunches in front of a computer within a few minutes?
2) Don’t Feel guilty when eating badly

Our bodies like our minds perform much better, digesting foods quicker when in a restive or relaxed mood rather than in stressful situations. Moreover, when we eat something that we feel we shouldn’t, we feel guilty which then releases stress hormones hampering digestion. Once in a while, a bowl of ice cream or that fully loaded pizza tempts us, so we need to set an intention to enjoy eating it and have no guilt about doing so.

3)Chew our foods well

I went on a nutrition course a while ago, and all I could remember through the bombardment of information was that the only time we had conscious control of our digestion was when we chewed on our foods. Digestion starts in the mouth with the action of our saliva and if we don’t chew well then there is so much more work for our digestive system to do.

4) Drink lots of water

Our bodies are about 70% water, and our brains are 90% water, so it makes us sense to drink lots of water. Our bodies function better when we are hydrated, and it aids in so many aspects of the body like in digestion, maintaining body temperature, energizing muscles and taking care of the kidneys. Water also flushes out toxins and some studies suggests, it even improves our mood.

Drinking eight glasses or two liters a day is usually enough but it all depends on the person, the climate we are in and how active we are. The best indicator is your urine color which needs to be as close to clear as possible.

5) Avoid Processed Foods

Processed food is any food that has been altered from its natural state in some way or another. They include many foods that are readily available in fast-food joints and regular supermarkets and vary from Microwave meals to breakfast cereals, fruit juices, soft drinks, savory snacks, chocolates, many cheeses, and bread. The list is endless.

6)Eat Colorful Vegetables

Only 10% of the world meet the recommended daily amount of vegetable intake needed, so many of us are missing on their benefits. All the nutrients found in fruits are also in vegetables, and yet we eat more fruits.

I was waiting to start a running race when I got talking to an Italian runner, and we discussed eating. He told me how he had lived with his Mama’s advise on vegetables, making it a habit to eat 3-5 different colors of vegetables per day.

7)Eat fruits on an empty stomach

Fruits can be beneficial as they are natural detoxifiers and help in the digestive process. However, always eat fruit on an empty stomach as our body uses different enzymes to digest fruit. Moreover, it needs to process the nutrients and the fiber separately. Also, we need to be careful as fruits have so much sugar in them, e.g., an Apple has 19 grams of sugar or almost 5 teaspoons of sugar.

8)Avoid All Sugars

We all know how bad sugar is, and of its negative effect on our bodies. Sugar is better known as “Sweet Poison”, and recent studies have shown it to be as addictive as cocaine.

I freely admit I’m a sugar addict, and I’m trying hard to overcome my addiction. And as I’m writing now about sugar, there is an ingrained desire in me that is sending a signal to my salivary glands. This in turn makes my brain react sending neurotransmitters around to prepare my body for some sugar, and I’m eyeing the chocolate bar in front of me.

Sugar tampers with our dopamine receptors, and we are always looking for the next stronger hit of sugar. I stopped sugar and fruits for two weeks and saw first hand how addictive it is. The minute I had a piece of cake, then I wanted something else that night and woke up next morning with a craving for sugar.

Sugar has two parts; the good part being Glucose, which our body needs and the nasty one known as Fructose that goes directly to the liver. This induces less insulin production, triggering hunger signals in the brain, and rather than utilize this sugar for energy, our body often turns fructose into liver fat. It is this Fructose that needs to be eliminated from our diets.

Sugar is everywhere in our foods and diets from alcohol to refined carbohydrates. We need to be vigilant with labels to check the carbohydrate content with the amount of sugar they contain. And we always need to remember that every 4.4 grams of sugar make one full teaspoon of sugar.

9) Know your Food

We have a responsibility to know what we put in our mouths. We need to understand what is good and not so good for us by trial and error. We need to check labels, know the sources of whom we buy our food from. We must have a general idea of the differences between Protein, Carbohydrates(fast and slow), Fibre, Fats, Fruits, and Vegetables.

We also need to plan what we are eating every day so if we over eat at lunch, then compensate by having a lighter dinner. Alternatively, if we exercised in the morning, then a heavier snack is needed.

However, it’s also important not to overwhelm ourselves with details and to keep everything simple. For me, I just like to know in the morning what I’m eating for the upcoming day.

10)Listen to your Body

There is a great story I read in an article where a Native American asks the Caucasian if he is hungry. The Caucasian looks at his watch and says “there’s an hour left for lunch time so let’s wait a bit.” The Native American man shakes his head and says: “Only you white men tell by the time on a clock whether you’re hungry or not.”

Eat when you are Hungry. Eat when your body sends you a message and not because you need to follow a set time of eating. Don’t eat because you need to comfort yourself. Don’t eat when you are bored.

For me, listening to my body has meant eating every three hours splitting my main meals with smaller snacks and never eating three hours before I sleep.

Wayne Dyer’s Quote

wayne dyer
Photo Credit: Whipps Photography

Wayne Dyer was speaking at an “I Can Do It” Conference when he brought out an orange and asked a bright twelve-year-old, what was inside the orange. The boy insisted it could only be orange juice and not apple or grapefruit juice. When pushed to explain why, the boy said: “Well, it’s an orange, and that’s what’s inside.”

Wayne Dyer nodded and said:

“Let’s assume that this orange isn’t an orange, but it’s you. And someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you, says something you don’t like, offends you. And out of you comes anger, hatred, bitterness, fear. Why? The answer, as our young friend has told us, is because that’s what’s inside.”

And he went on to say that:

“It’s one of the great lessons of life. What comes out when life squeezes you? When someone hurts or offends you? If anger, pain and fear come out of you, it’s because that’s what’s inside. It doesn’t matter who does the squeezing — your mother, your brother, your children, your boss, the government. If someone says something about you that you don’t like, what comes out of you is what’s inside. And what’s inside is up to you, it’s your choice.”

“When someone puts the pressure on you and out of you comes anything other than love, it’s because that’s what you’ve allowed to be inside. Once you take away all those negative things you don’t want in your life and replace them with love, you’ll find yourself living a highly functioning life.”

As I watched his talk, I reflected on myself and saw that not everything that’s inside me is as pure as I want it to be. When I overreact and insult a taxi driver, who ignores all kinds of driving rules and cuts me off. It’s the frustration bottled up in me that’s coming out and not what the taxi driver did. Also, when I belittle someone for making a mistake then it’s all the fears inside of me which I haven’t addressed that are coming out.

Most of our negative reactions are not about the people who irritate us but more about what is troubling us from the core.

Whenever we overreact, then it’s an opportunity for us to step back and ask ourselves what’s really inside of us? What have we allowed to get inside of us and what can we do to remove all the negative things that we don’t want in our life and replace them with love?

As Rumi said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Six Ways to Help Inspire Change in People

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference-Reinhold Niebuhr

Can we change people? How can we help our loved ones to adopt a good habit and drop a bad one?

I struggle with those questions every time I take on a new habit or learn a new lesson, which proves invaluable in my life. I want to share it or impose it into the lives of my loved ones.

For example, I’ve been meditating for almost two years now and even though I’ve promoted it passionately and expressed what it has brought to my life.I haven’t been able to inspire many to take on meditation.

change

Change is a word that has been overburdened with so many expectations that many of us just switch off when the word change is mentioned. I understand that some people are hungry for change and would readily accept motivation and inspiration more than others.

Also, it’s about the right timing for some of us to admit that we need to change something in our life. I recall ignoring the promptings of my father when I was in university to read more about spirituality and to ask the big questions of life. It wasn’t till I hit thirty that I seriously started to read about Philosophy, Religion, and Spirituality and opened my eyes to a new world unbeknownst to me.

“A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.”—Muhammad Ali

We can’t press a button and change people, no matter how much we love them. And very often people don’t want to be changed as the comforts of no change always outweigh the work needed to commit to change.

The best we can hope is to try inspiring them to become aware of having to change. And for that change to happen and persist, then they have to be emotionally aroused by the impending change.

They must feel some apprehension, even fear, and unrelenting anxiety—strong emotional reactions that act as catalysts to increase their motivation and commitment.

Here are six ways for us to help inspire change in people:

1. Be the example

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”- Mahatma Gandhi

When we practice what we preach and consistently do what we have championed others to do, then it sends a message to whoever is around you that your words are authentic. You are telling people,that you truly believe in what you are saying and it’s working in your life.

E.g. Recently I watched Tony Robbins in one of his events, and the whole theme was about how we can energize our lives and unleash the power within. He kept six thousand people engaged, aroused and able to have fun for four consecutive days-His energy was mesmerizing.

2. Be compassionate

When trying to help, we should focus on listening with compassion rather than being overbearing with our words. We can rouse their awareness by asking clever, introspective questions like “What are the Pros and Cons for you to change or not change?” “If this change was easy, would you want to make it? What makes it hard?” Those questions create a safe environment for them to explore motivations and examine their need to change or not change.

However, be prepared to accept that people will not immediately follow your advice and implement changes into their life. But at least you have given them another way to look at things and were real enough to do it yourself.

3. Change is not easy

We need to remind ourselves that change is difficult and to look back at the number of times we ignored the good advice because we felt it wasn’t for us or that it made no sense whatsoever. We need to guide them so they can see the self-defeating stories they have been telling themselves for so long so as to justify not changing.

We can share our experiences to allow them to see that change is an opportunity to grow with amazing things waiting to happen rather than some unwanted burden.

4. Change can be easy, rewarding and normal

We need to show them that change can be easy and not so overwhelming when we take “baby steps” to make small incremental changes in our lives. The key to change is to be patient and not expect instant results. This whole process must be fun and not seen as a strict ritual.

The rewards must be clear for them to see so that they monitor their progress regularly, and most importantly they must feel that results will ensue.

To change the way they behave, most people need to see that the change they are embarking on is something normal and that most people, especially those they admire would want to act this way.

E.g. Several years ago my daughter was struggling with Math and I made an effort to practice with her for thirty minutes every other day, learning something small every time and making it fun. Over the months that passed I charted her improvement and regularly showed it to her. Since that time she has changed the way she approached math and is now doing very well.

5.Create an environment

Create an environment that supports and encourages the change you are championing. For example, if it’s a healthy life you are advocating then put up posters of the nutritious food, and remove all chocolates, candy, and similar foods from the house.

Share your inspirations and goals with them, and send books, articles and movies that share your passion for that habit. Do this in a friendly manner and have no attachment or reaction to them not taking up the habit.

E.g. I talk about being healthy around my family, run regularly and have my gym in the house, which I use frequently. My kids have grown up watching me do this and have also taken up exercising as a regular habit to feel good and be healthy.

6) Use setbacks to initiate change

Setbacks and the gloom that follows is the best time to advocate change. The ego has been temporarily defeated, and we are now willing to change the way we view our ways. Failures are blessings in disguise even though we never see it like that at the time. The anguish brought on becomes an emotional trigger that helps us clearly see our wrong actions and allows us to accept change readily.

E.g. One of my running buddies recently injured his calf and couldn’t run for a few months, and so lost the opportunity to run a race we agreed to do. He would never listen to my advice on stretching and to take up Pilates as a practice to complement running. Now after the injury he has started regular stretching and wants to take up Pilates.

We can help inspire change in people when we express our words compassionately and skillfully to make them feel that if they do change their behaviour then it really would make a difference in their lives.
We also need to show them that we have no expectations that they would want to change or even can change.

The 5 Fundamentals of Lasting Happiness

The 5 Fundamentals of Lasting Happiness
Photo Credit: Morgan Sessions

“The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.”
― George Washington Burnap,

What is happiness? What are the elements that give us everlasting happiness? How do they work?

Some feel happiness is very simple and there is no need to complicate it further by focusing too much on it, as doing so will ultimately make you feel unhappy. However, happiness is a difficult thing to pin down, and it’s too simplistic just to smile our way to happiness.

As we grow from one stage to another in our life, happiness will mean different things, so what worked for us when we were teenagers won’t necessarily work for us now. For example, the feeling of going to a party at sixteen won’t necessarily make us ecstatic at forty.

As I walk further towards my spiritual path, I know that lasting happiness will only come from within myself. The experiences I’ve had when younger have served their purpose and are now stored deep in my sub-conscious mind. And as such I need newer and far different experiences to invoke that feeling of well-being in me.

Martin Seligman has spent years studying happiness and answering the big questions that come with it. He has spent most of his life researching and producing theories that have established him as the leading authority on happiness. He is called the father of positive psychology and has written many best-selling books on the topic.

In his influential 2011 book, Flourish, Seligman developed the PERMA model. In it, he proposes five essential elements that must be present in our lives for us to experience lasting well-being or happiness.

Over the years, I have learned that we can’t live a fulfilled life without them and as such I have adopted them in my life and adapted them to my way of being.

These elements are:

1)Positive Emotion/Pleasure (P)

We all need pleasure in our lives, and this is when we maximize our positive emotions while minimizing the negative ones. Examples of these emotions include peace, gratitude, hope, and love.There are little acts we do on a daily basis that invoke these positive emotions and go a long way in lessening the negative ones.

E.g., Meditating early in the morning gives me the peace I crave.  Tucking in our children and listening to them say goodnight makes us warmhearted.

2)Engagement (E)

When we are fully engaged in an activity that challenges us and yet excites us. We become fully focused on it, and so lose all sense of time and self. We experience a state of Flow-this is a state of deep, effortless involvement, a term coined by the distinguished Professor of Psychology Milly Csíkszentmihályi.

The activity is usually something that we enjoy, and that makes us come alive from within. Seligman recommends we find what we are good at and what we love the most and practice it consistently.

E.g., When I’m writing I lose all sense of time and space. I get this great feeling afterward that I can’t put into words. For others, it could be singing, painting, setting up a business, managing a project, or running in the outdoors.

3) Positive Relationships (R)

Seligman believes that within us, there is an innate need that is biologically and evolutionarily ingrained. We crave relationships; friendships and companionship are something that we look out for almost instinctively. And Positive relationships are especially powerful because they play a role in supporting the other four components of well-being.

4) Meaning (M)

Meaning is derived from serving a cause that is bigger than us. We are all inter-connected, in this universe and with each other. We all belong to something that is larger than us.

We are here to grow personally and help others grow with us. We can only do this by serving mankind. And sooner or later we will have to accept this inner call to serve.

E.g., I have seen my life turn around completely from being an ordinary, lifeless entrepreneur to one where I’m alive only because I’ve found some meaning to infuse into my life. This meaning came, the day I felt sharing my experiences through my writing, and speaking was serving others.

5)Accomplishment/Achievement (A)

Accomplishment involves the pursuit of success, winning, and achievement both as end-goals and as processes. The process is much more important though it’s easy to fall into the ego trap where the goals become the only thing that matters. However, we need goals and their achievements as guideposts to motivate and give us more discipline to complete the process.

E.g., Warren Buffet is one of the richest men in the world, and yet he maintains the same routine and process that he has done for so many years. He doesn’t need more money; he has never tried to get famous because of his achievements. He just loves the process of betting on the right numbers day in, day out.

 

For us to have lasting happiness and the kind that involves a deep sense of well-being rather than the hedonistic pleasures that are prevalent everywhere today, and then we need all the five elements to be present.

When we neglect them, it is like we do not satisfy our inner needs and so will surely live an unfulfilled life. We reach the so-called midlife crisis and start asking questions about our purpose and direction in life.

We need to ask the right questions as it’s those questions that will define how we live the rest of our lives. Seligman’s PERMA model is an ideal place to start the process of carving out the big questions that will matter in your life.

“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers”-Voltaire

However, even with all the five elements in place, I still think we need some element of failure and even despair to drive us closer to the desires of our soul. If we do understand the painful lessons of failure and apply them in our lives, then we are challenged much more to get out of our comfort zones. It is only in despair that we learn quickly and grow ten-fold. It is only in despair that we become excited to understand what gives us lasting happiness.

The Power of Simplifying Your Life

Lately, I have this urge to simplify my life and lessen the burden of decisions that bombard me every day. As soon as we open our eyes we need to start making decisions. Choose what to wear in the morning, what food to eat during the day, and which route to choose to work and on and on we face those decisions daily.

We then have to pay for all the different bills we have for a hundred different services that we hardly use. Then there are the ten credit cards we have and three bank accounts we own.

Sometimes, it gets a bit too much especially in this day and age where information hits us fast bringing with it a vast array of options. These choices quickly overwhelm us becoming burdens rather than luxuries. We start stressing over making decisions, and our shoulders tense up and anxiety follows soon after.

simplify

Every decision we make takes so much energy out of us, no matter how small that decision is. As days, months and years pass, all these small decisions add up and somehow drain our energy resources-lessening the power within us.

If we listen closely to our hearts, there is an inherent urge in us to simplify our lives. Fewer decisions mean less energy spent. And so instead of more, we should choose less. But this does not mean having less but paradoxically more because we would be able to focus, engage and enjoy those fewer things much more.

The more things we buy to improve our mood, and then the quicker we get bored with them and the deeper we fall into the abyss of nothingness.

And the more we get rid of anything that’s unnecessary, and then the better we feel. As all that extra becomes clutter, that is wasteful, and that stands in the way of our inner peace and happiness. And by removing the unnecessary, we make room for what is essential, and give ourselves more focus.

What is essential for most of us differs considerably and as such simplifying our lives is something that is personal and very much subjective.

I still don’t know all the parts of my life that needs simplifying or how to do so without affecting people who rely on me but I feel this whisper from my heart and this tug on my soul that I need to simplify to be to able enjoy the rest of my life.

         Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication-Leonardo Da Vinci

I presume the main areas to look at would be:

#Money
My dream is to have only one account with one debit card that shows me every month what comes in and what goes out. And all I want is that the in column be a bit more than the out so that I can live peacefully and comfortable enjoying the sights and sounds of our world

#Possessions
I suspect I’m tiring of having clothes that I don’t use, books that I’m not planning to read, and furniture that block my path. And that luxury car that stereotypes me rather than the one that serves me. The more I walk,city and weather permitting, the more I feel closer to my soul.

#Property
I see myself surrounded by more green than concrete and more outdoor space than indoor space. I would rather listen to the wind and the birds than the air conditioning and the television.

#What I do during the day
I see myself leading a simple life where I wake up fresh when the sun sets and start my day with movement(running/yoga) and end it with reading and sleeping early. And in between I would write/blog/speak, socialize with friends and family and drink some espresso.

I would also spend a lot of time alone and in a state of wonder about nature and regularly satisfy my curiosity about life.

I would gladly leave my corporate life behind for all of that simplicity.

#Technology
I would find a way to use technology; specifically instant messaging, social media and the internet rather that letting it run/ruin my life. What if I could set only an hour or two per day for it?

Is being busier for the sake of being busy something that serves us in our lives.

Isn’t small always more beautiful and within our grasp, always allowing us to focus more and have more meaning in our lives.

The true journey is the inward one and the more we remove the clutter and noise that surrounds us then the more we can truly allow our souls to lead the way to greatness.

The spiritual warrior chooses less(outside) and gains more(Inside).

6 ways that Meditation has transformed my life

6 ways that Meditation has transformed my life
Photo Credit: Moyan Brenn

I’m not a Buddhist Monk or a meditation expert, but I can tell you that Meditation has helped me in my life and is slowly but surely guiding me in my self-discovery journey.

Meditation has given me an inner peace that acts as a hidden support, which until now, I didn’t appreciate. That’s probably because meditation’s effectiveness is hard to measure as its results are not immediate and not very apparent like something you see with diets or exercise.

But then again, the mind is far more complex than the body.

Meditation has been the focus of many books, articles, and research studies. There have been many successful scientific experiments proving how gray matter in the area of self-awareness grew ten-fold and how it reduces stress by some percentage. These are all clear proof that it works.

However there are many skeptics out there and rightly so, as meditation is often highjacked by new age gurus glorifying it as something sacred and difficult to achieve unless you achieve some Godly purity. And usually this purity can only be reached through them and for a hefty fee.

My definition of meditation and how it works in my life is very simple and is more relatable to most people than that of many Gurus out there.

Meditation is all about quieting your inner voice (the one that doesn’t shut up) or the monkey mind for approximately 20-30 minutes a day. And it’s exercising the mind so that you reduce your stress levels and get into a more relaxed state, as opposed to the fight-or-flight response mode of our minds.

How to Meditate?

# Sit Comfortably
Sit comfortably either in a normal seating position with your bare feet on the ground or sit on a cushion with your legs crossed and hips higher than your knees. Then, center yourself with your back always straight and upright. And then take a minute just to relax and get comfortable.

# Breathe in and out
Start to focus and follow your breath through your nostrils/mouth as you breath in for a few seconds and then out for a few seconds more.

#Leave thoughts behind
Many thoughts will arise but gently bring your attention back to the breathing leaving any thoughts behind.

# Don’t judge yourself
Don’t judge yourself for having thoughts but continue going back to your breath. Some meditations would be better than others depending on your state of mind.
E.g., Most times, I can go for 30 seconds without a thought and on one occasion I spent a full five minutes without a single thought entering my mind.

This gap in thoughts without the mind wandering off is what is deemed to be that mysterious concept known as meditation.

Myths of Meditation

  • You don’t have to wear an orange robe and be this peaceful spiritual person before meditation is effective. Just remove the mystery surrounding it and make meditation a habit, one that can be cultivated so that you can reap its benefits.
  • Having thoughts during meditation doesn’t mean you have to start all over again. Suppressing thoughts is also not the way but rather going back to your breathing naturally when thoughts arise and then leaving the thoughts behind.
  •  If you don’t have time to meditate and can’t manage 5-20 minutes of your time to sit alone and meditate, then maybe it’s not meditation you seek but rather a Life.
  • Meditation will not change your life and make you this enlightened Guru, who never has pain, sadness or tough times. It’s only a practice that helps alleviate stress and put you in a more relaxed state of mind.
  •  You don’t need a special place to Meditate. It would be nice to meditate on a quiet beach watching the sunrise, but it’s not necessary. It can be anywhere and in any place, as long as your back is straight and you are relaxed.
  • Mediation doesn’t mean you become passive and get trodden upon in the big bad world out there. It means you rather become a person who has control over his emotions, and one who can respond rather than react to an adverse situation.

How Meditation has helped me?

1) Calmness

Meditation helps to expand your perception, allowing you to see the value in every experience and every relationship. I have seen myself reach new capacities of calmness I never thought I was capable of.
E.g., I handled a 4-hour traffic jam very well, when in the past I would have flipped and left the car in the middle of the road. (Okay, I’m starting from a very steep point of impatience)

2) Inner Peace

Before I started to meditate, the only happiness I experienced was directly connected to external factors like relationships, money and achievements. Now I’m still happy even though some of those external factors are failing. I have this inner peace within me that has given me the strength to handle challenging situations.

I have a less of a need to control people, places or situations. I have tapped into the infinite source of inner happiness-present moment awareness. I now feel the party is wherever I am at, and I have lost that feeling of missing out.

3) Sleep/Dream better

The quality of my sleep is better as I feel rested and can accomplish much more with fewer hours slept. Also as a bonus I remember my dreams much more vividly than I used to do before I committed to my meditation practice.

4) Focus better

I have noticed now that I can focus better as I am much more aware of the chattering mind in me and use my breathing to get rid of the noise and refocus very quickly.

I now, last longer in my writing sessions without any breaks. I used start getting fidgety after 20-30 minutes, but now I can focus for 45-60 minutes quite easily per sitting.

5) Catch myself quicker when I’m thinking the wrong way

As I deepen my meditation practice, I’m becoming more aware that I am a witness to my thoughts, and that I need not identify with them as readily as I used to. As soon as I’m reacting badly to a situation I catch myself and then remind myself that I’m not that thought.

I’m a long way from perfect, and I often identify with a bad thought and ruminate for a few minutes.However, I cool down quickly and then find myself laughing for being such a fool and believing my deceiving mind.
6) Faith and Trust in life

Regular meditation slowly negates the deprecating self-talk you get involved in continually. You start to act more from your heart as the fears spurred by your mind slowly fade away, and you clearly hear the pure messages coming from your heart.

You start making better decisions and gain confidence in your being. And you start trusting the universe much more making it more enjoyable to live life, and you start awakening to your purpose.

My commitment to meditation in the last two years has been the main reason I have recently awoken to my spiritual path.
And even though it’s only for 20 minutes a day, its effect on me has been transformational as my highs have become more meaningful lasting longer and my lows though not gone have become manageable.

The Power of Solitude

I’ve left the city with its politics and turmoil to visit my late mother’s burial site in the village. It’s only for the weekend, but I thought it would be chastening. It was for most of the time but only because I wasn’t letting go of my City-mentality which is one fraught with arrogance, ego, and materialism.

As I drove towards the village, my attitude was one of superiority-why would I want to make myself suffer without all the trappings of the city life? For example, it’s an especially hot day, and there is no air-conditioning at the house I’m staying at. The flies are everywhere and are as annoying as hell as they attack non-stop, and I got to appreciate why we use flies as metaphors for stickiness.

solitude

It’s now late in the evening, and the sun is setting. I’m sitting on a plastic chair on the balcony in spartan surroundings. In front of me, I can see a mountain and below me a valley. I can hear the birds sing, and I’m watching the trees stand tall and be still with utter reverence. I am in absolute solitude.

Finally, a slight breeze approaches with a chill that hits my face and neck and runs down my body. I get that gratifying feeling as I watch the skyline change colors from Orange to light blue. The sun and the moon briefly share the sky. The sun goes down leaving the moon, and the stars to light up the sky. I suddenly feel connected to the universe and feel so alive.

The distressed thoughts I brought along with me from the city have magically disappeared as I enjoy the peace around me. This inner peace is something that is difficult to describe. It’s like I’ve tapped into a universal source that instantly frees me as if I have hit a reset button to my biochemistry.

Thoughts are like clouds,
they come and go.
Thoughts are like rumors,
some true but most are not.
Sixty thousand thoughts a day,
so how can we be every one of them?
Some thoughts consume us
and govern our minds.
They turn to murmurs
that destroy our lives.
And yet, all we have to do is
sit still and watch them
drift away and further away.
How can we hear our truths
or Plug into our source
Until and Unless we quiet that Monkey-Mind?

 

All the anxiety I carried with me is gone. That nagging inner voice in my head has also gone. My shoulders so tense before, are now loose, and the throbbing headache I had has left me. I can hear sounds from very far, and I can see clearly in high definition up to the horizon of the sea.

I have become a spiritual being who knows that I’m not my worries or my ruminating thoughts-I am in solitude.

The more I find ways to get in solitude, the more I love myself. It’s a deepening love of myself, one that I now know exists and see as an essential part of my life.

We all live busy and noisy lives and manage to fret away hours on people, tv ,surfing the net, driving and yet we don’t manage to give ourselves 30 minutes of solitude a day.

I can’t say enough about how solitude has helped me in my life. I have learned to enjoy myself alone, reflect and analyze what is right for me. I have learned to distinguish between the noises that torment me from the music that enliven me.

I have started appreciating time alone out in nature and being out in the open more often than not. I now love to stare in awe at the beauty of life that is around me, whether it’s a 100-year old tree or a flock of seagulls flying just above me.solitude

 

Spending time alone doesn’t solve all your problems, but at least it puts you on the track to be aware of your being. Solitude gives you the calmness to be able to face your problems with a clear head.

10 Ways to Awaken your Aliveness

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”― Howard Thurman

Published by Rebelle Society

As I grow older and approach the afternoon of my life, I see things much more clearly. I’m finally getting it that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. I truly understand the meaning of spirituality and the need for it in our lives.

Spirituality to me is different from being religious as I see it as my direct relationship with a supreme being–the source of all life. I understand the inherent worth of all religions and accept many of their wonderful teachings, but I’m not tied down to any of their dogma.

Alive
Photo Credit: Itay Kabalo
I can connect to this source through my soul as long as I learn how to listen to my heart. In my mind, I have simplified the whole meaning of spirituality into one phrase-Awakening my aliveness.

This awakening or spirituality means I believe in something bigger than mankind. I believe in a supreme power with some worldly order. A power that has created us in such perfection, as proved by the fact that we consist of trillions of cells all going about their work in perfect unison.

It means that life is more than mere chance and coincidences. Everyone and everything is connected in this universe like the cells in our body. It means that we believe in living and more importantly, that there is a meaning to life and that our life matters in the grand scheme of things.

I see my life here on earth as a journey of self-discovery, so that I can remember my connection to the source while living as a physical being. The more I learn and experience in that manner where I am aware of my connection every time I am being human then the more I evolve as a being.

However, most of the time, I can’t remember my source all the time. Or I can’t awaken my aliveness all the time, regardless of what the best gurus and teachers say. Nobody can be 100% enlightened all the time.

I remember my source in some moments, like when I’m meditating or when I’m engaging in some activity that I love so much. Then I lose it again as some dis-empowering event appears suddenly without notice like someone cutting me up in traffic or a final warning letter to pay some bill.

Life is so fast now that many things distract us from our aliveness. We forget the big picture of what matters most and the connection we had with the source or the feeling of aliveness easily disappears.

I have developed several habits and practices that Ido consistently, which have proved invaluable for me to stay connected and close to my aliveness.

1. Waking up early

I love getting up early to allow the sound of silence and the view of the sun rising (when I’m privileged to witness it) to permeate my soul.

2. Meditation

Sitting in stillness or meditating for 20 minutes first thing in the morning cultivates peace and calmness in my life to help me in my path to authenticity.

3. Journaling

Again, I do this in the morning just after my meditation, and I write and write without stopping about my feelings, reflections, and current thoughts. I also mention three things that I’m grateful for that day.

4. Reading

As simple as it sounds, taking up reading again after I stopped for so long, during my hibernation, has led to my awakening. This has helped to take me out of my closed-box mentality and show me that there are many other worlds out there. It also led me to many of the things that I love today, such as writing, learning and keeping my mind open.

5. Exercise

I was always involved in sports when I was at school, but somehow forgot all about movement and exercise when I settled down in the “normal way of life.” Don’t ask me why. I have no real answer.
Running has become a passion and going to the gym and playing soccer raises the level of my endorphins and enhances my general mood, which trickles into the rest of my life in all kinds of ways.

6. Being Mindful

I have chosen specific things I do during the day when I immerse myself in doing that activity without allowing my thoughts to wander or be interrupted.

E.g. when I’m drinking my only coffee in the morning. This has become a sacred ritual, as I would make it, let it sit for a while, and then inhale the strong, rich aroma before taking the first sip. I continue drinking it for about few minutes without thinking of anything but the coffee.

7. Solitude

I can’t say enough about how this has helped me in my life. I have learned to enjoy myself alone, reflect and analyze what is right for me. I have learned to distinguish between the noises that torment me from the music that enliven me.

I have started appreciating nature and being out in the open more often than not. I now love to stare in awe at the beauty of life that is around me, whether it’s a 100-year old tree or a flock of seagulls flying just above me.

8. Don’t Follow Society and Its Rules

I look at what matters the most to me when deciding how to spend my day or what to do with my energy. I’ve started using Steven Covey’s principle of “begin with the end in mind” in many situations, using my authenticity and fulfillment as the goal I’m moving towards.

I’m finally realizing that most of us live like sheep, not because we are happy, but to avoid disrupting the status quo of our lives. We fight day and night to stay in our comfort zones. We crave the sense of belonging that society gives us.

9. Creativity

We are all unique individuals, and it’s through our creativity that we are able to express our true selves and allow our real voices to be heard. I grew up assuming that creativity meant being born a Hemingway and producing a book like The Old Man and the Sea or becoming Picasso and painting Les Demoiselles d’Avignon.

Since I started getting more creative, whether it’s expressing my passion through writing or doing small things–creating picture quotes on Instagram. I have found inner satisfaction that has flowed into all areas of my life. Again, the more I practice this muscle of creativity, the better I get and the more inner joy I feel within me.

10. Finding Your Tribe

Our Family and friends are our balance, the bedrock of our lives but sometimes we don’t think in the same wavelength. As such, I have found my own tribe online and they stimulate my thinking and expand my horizons.

I have also found a few people in my journey who have proved to be muses and coaches showing up for me time and time again to guide me to my rightful path.

Aliveness is something that is unique and different to each one of us, and it need not be a revolution that would change your life completely. It very often is a slight tweak where you add certain things that make you come alive.

However I do believe that we need self-growth and contribution to our fellow mankind before our lives can become meaningful as only then can we be awakened to our aliveness.

So have I awakened to my full aliveness?
Am I who I must be?
No, I’m not even halfway there.

I am sure in the coming years I will uncover many new aspects of my self. I will expand on the practices that I’m doing now.

However, I know I’m on the right path and am enjoying the journey to my authenticity.

Every day, I look forward even more to what makes me come alive, so that I can participate fully in this wonderful game called life.

Keep Moving and Never Remain Stagnant

keep-moving
Photo Credit: Jared Erondu

Action is the language of the universe and I’ve written many times on the power of action, not least for getting us out of our comfort zone.

Sometimes we can begin an action without a plan and keep moving forward, adjusting towards the goal. The actual doing now becomes the teacher and the guide. There is no need to set ourselves up, get motivated and as Nike always tell us to go out and  “Just Do it.”

We should look at nature and see how action and movement work for it. Any living organism in nature either moves forward or dies. There is no room for anything else.

 Rain falls; mountainside gets muddy

 Birth of a stream, maybe more

Its waters barely moving

Thick in texture, murky in nature

With every descent, the purer it gets

Obstacles emerge; paths blocked

Part can’t meander; slow down to a stand-still

Growing stagnant, looking repugnant.

Imprisoned forever, designated as a pond.

Part do meander; moving fast and around

Keep moving, becoming clearer.

The river approaches, freedom beckons.

Or maybe, even the Sea.

Ultimately, we are what we do and how we move. Let’s not get fooled by all those grand dreams that we have imagined. Goals work, and so does imagination but they only set a direction, a compass to follow but setting alone doesn’t do the task for us.

Let’s not fall into the perfectionist trap as we can never do anything perfectly, nobody can. We can’t always be on the sides thinking and planning, ruminating and getting ready as we miss the chance to learn, grow and respond to life.

The Master of action and decisiveness was Alexander the Great. He was once, presented with a challenge—to untie this huge Gordian knot. He took one look, and couldn’t find the ends of the knot, so he took his sword out and sliced it in half. Problem solved and onwards he moved.

Once we move and we’re in the game, we can learn. And getting in action does cure fear, as the longer we hesitate, our fears then become magnified.

In 2008, at a time when I was going through some challenges, and I was a bit lost and confused. I impetuously went to a tattooist and got one done on my shoulder—it was a beautiful angel with wings and the line at the top read: Born to be free.

I knew I wanted a tattoo, but I was afraid of the whole process and the stigma it could create. I started procrastinating, until I summoned enough nerve and took a cab straight to the tattooist without an appointment.

Within thirty minutes, I had agreed on a design and the words “Born to be Free” just came to me without any previous thoughts. The tattoo and the words were the birth of my self-discovery and my spiritual rebirth.

Here my action preceded my planning, guided by an inner voice or some subconscious thought. It’s like I’m half-aware of what I want, and then the action leads me to the full awakening.

Actions often leads us to our search and purpose and not the other way around.

7 ways to create lasting habits in our lives.

Published by Rebelle Society 

I sat reflecting on my life, and all I could think of was that I had become the total sum of my good habits and, unfortunately, my bad ones too.

We create most of our habits unconsciously and then watch them take over the direction of our lives. And we wonder why we don’t stick to a regular writing practice or follow the new diet to lose those extra few pounds.

7 ways to create lasting habits in our lives.
Photo Credit: Sebastian Marchand

I am a great advocator of self-motivation with the ultimate goal to grow in many different ways. However, motivation can only do so much to make us change as it gives that initial boost but it’s only through conscious, consistent practice, or habits that we can achieve the change we crave.

We usually focus so much on the Goal that we lose track of the actual work we need to do to get there. The grandiosity of the goal overwhelms us, and we often give up on it quite easily. It’s by creating habits and chunking them into small parts that can drive us to that final destination.

Our Minds have two parts; the conscious mind, which is the creative one and the one we have little access to, which is completely controlled by the other part–the sub-conscious mind. This sub-conscious mind is like a recording machine, which takes in all the information from our conditioning, the environment, and our behavior, and it then adds it all up to direct our final actions.

The only way we can effect any change in our lives is to address the sub-conscious mind, and the best way to do this is by repetition and by creating habits. Just think of how we brush our teeth every morning without even thinking, as this has been repeated and repeated so that it has become part of the information that we embed in the mind.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”–Aristotle

Over the last 50 years, science and numerous psychological experiments have proved that there is a real power in creating and practicing habits. They confirm that a habit takes anything from 21 days to 60 days to be formed. And if we stick with them, then it will contribute to creating discipline and patience in our life, two attributes that can lead to an accomplished life.

They help guide us to that best quality of all—Persistence. As we dive into our practice, we increase our mental stamina, and we tend to finish whatever we started. Finishing a book, or a designated run sends a signal to our brain that we finish everything we start.

Habits will lead us to the present moment where real joy sits. The more time we spend in deliberate practice, where we shut our “monkey minds” off and perform the habits, the greater our link is to the creative, conscious mind.

We can create habits in 7 simple steps as stated below:

1) Set a Trigger

We need to set a trigger or reminder for us to initiate the behavior that we want to start.

E.g.I Prepare all my running gear before I sleep so that I can easily notice them when I get up in the morning.

2) Create a Routine or practice

The routine is the actual behavior we take on, to get us to the desired action. We should start with small tiny steps so that it would be difficult to fail and attractive to get into action.

E.g. I started my daily Push-Ups practice with 5, and I’m now up to 30.

3) Set a Reward

Set up a reward system so that we benefit immediately after the behavior. This reward need not be a holiday to Las Vegas after doing 30 push-ups, but some good positive talk to appreciate our good work.. The brain will store the good feelings we associated with the behavior and so the next time we are doing the habit those same good feeling comes up.

E.g. I reward myself with my only coffee in the morning straight after my daily meditation.

4) Find a Keystone habit

There is usually one habit that if we stick to religiously would help pull the rest of our life in order.

E.g. When I get up early before the sun comes out, then my whole day unfolds beautifully as I meditate well, journal crisply and become more productive at work.

5) Schedule the habits

We need to set a clear intention with a time and a day, just like we would with any regular appointment. Our habits need time and a place to live in our life. e.g. Want to run regularly? Running 7km on Tuesday 6 am must be marked clearly on the calendar.

Special Note: If there is not enough time for the practice, then just reduce the time we spend on it. Don’t abandon it, as it would break the pattern we create in our brain.
E.g. run for 15 minutes and not the full 60 minute run.

6) Be accountable

Announce the practice to friends, family or anyone who can hold us accountable.If the habit is imperative, then get a coach to help. This way we are more likely to stick to the new habit.

E.g. I joined an online writing group to journal more than 750 words a day and we are all accountable to each other in a very clever online process.

7) Design our environment for success

Put up posters, pictures of the habits we want to create in our offices and homes. Read articles or books and talk to everyone about them too. This association with the habit will reinforce it into the synapses of our brain.

E.g. I have put up visual pictures of all my habits in front of my writing desk and where I spend a lot of my time.

“How we spend our days is how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour and that one is what we are doing. There is no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by.”–Annie Dillard

Doing the same thing every day for the last twenty years doesn’t sound exciting but who would describe Picasso’s life or that of Kahlil Gibran as ordinary. They followed the same routine and practice throughout their lives.

They would write or paint every day as part of their scheduled practice and in some days their work was average but on others it was dazzling. Who remembers their poor work after decades of practicing their craft? No one, as the many magnificent pieces have overshadowed the inferior ones.

That’s how their hearts purred, and their souls sang, but they needed that discipline of following through on their habits. And only until then, it became effortless for them to produce magical pieces of art that we have come to love so much.