7 Ways Our Smartphones Are Ruining Our Lives

smartphone
Photo Credit: Mister G.C.

“You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.”-Winston S. Churchill

As Published by Elephant Journal

Multitasking is now a fundamental part of our life that we are comfortable texting while we’re walking across the street, catch up on email while stopping at traffic lights. And worst of all we check on our virtual friends using Facebook, Twitter or Snapchat while having a face-to-face lunch with our real friends.

Multitasking is when one of the tasks needs some critical thinking–Listening to an important presentation while reading emails or doing homework while watching Gossip Girls. This is entirely different from doing two things at the same time without needing any focus like walking and talking or driving and listening to music.

Technology and specifically the smartphone is probably the single biggest contributor to the rise of the multitasking phenomena in our lives today. There are no clear boundaries now as work, rest and play all battle for our wakeful minutes.

It’s usually the kids who set the pace in technology from The web to Facebook, Twitter, and then Instagram.The latest craze being Snapchat, where the kids chronicle and share their days within a few seconds under something called Snapchat story. However, they are sensationalize their stories to keep up with Kardashians and so missing out on living their authentic lives.

There are many advantages to the new technologies, not least that we can access information no matter where we are. We can connect to people and places no matter how remote we find ourselves.

The Smartphone is a great tool that can enhance our lives and enrich our minds. However, we need to be careful so as not be enslaved by them and enamored by their novelty.

The scientific research, led by top neuroscientists on the dangers of multitasking and the abuse of the smartphone is exhaustive, and it’s being studied in top universities around the world from Stanford to UCLA.

These are the seven dangers why multitasking and the smartphone, in particular, is ruining our lives and leading us to be disconnected, dissatisfied and ultimately leading us to an unfulfilled life:

1) Multitasking doesn’t work

Multitasking simply doesn’t work and what we think is multitasking is only task-switching. Our brains are limited when it comes to attention and productivity and are set to complete one task at a time before moving onto the next one. As we switch rapidly from one task to another, we lose focus on both, our productivity suffers, and we limit our chances of getting fully “in the zone” where all magic resides.

Multitasking doesn’t save time, as it probably takes longer to finish two tasks when you’re jumping back and forth than it would, to complete each one separately.

 

2) It leads to mistakes and mediocrity

We make many mistakes when switching tasks causing almost 40% loss in productivity if critical thinking is required. Any new information learned while multi-tasking could go to the wrong part of the brain as the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for organizing information, is easily distracted.

Also, the prefrontal cortex burns up the same fuel, glucose, that it needs for both switching tasks and staying on task. This then leads to the exhaustion of the required glucose levels in the brain that in turn leads to mistakes and compromised work. And it’s little wonder that we feel exhausted and disoriented after doing two tasks at the same time.

3)It causes stress and pain

This repeated switching from task to task leads to anxiety as we need to make lots of decisions. So when you stop your focus on a task to answer a call or email, you are then faced with making a decision, no matter how small that is.

This decision overload takes its toll on us as it raises our heart rate and moves us from the restful-relaxed mode to the fight-or-flight mode. The brain now produces more adrenaline, and our brains are overstimulated causing mental fog. We become impulsive and start making bad decisions. This in turn raises levels of the stress hormone cortisol in the brain, which in turn can lead to serious stress and depression.
4) It could lead to addiction

Whenever we stop our focus on the project on hand and look at how many likes we have on Instagram, for example, we feel this sense of accomplishment. This creates a dopamine-addiction feedback loop, so our brains are being rewarded for losing focus and getting distracted.

Also, our brains are wired so that we feel good when it senses something novel, and it’s the same brain that needs to focus on the task at hand. So again when we check our Instagram likes, we feel instantaneously good, and that constitutes a neural addiction.

5)It could lead to memory loss

When doing two things at the same time and both need our focus, then in reality we are acting a bit like a drunk would. We feel that we’re taking in what is being said but in reality we can’t remember much or apply the knowledge we learned.

6) We feel disconnected and miss out on life and Relationships

When doing two things at the same time, we are simply missing out on the beauty that life has to offer us. We don’t notice our surroundings or our environment. It’s like we are missing in action in our own lives-Our eyes are open and yet nothing is being registered in our brains.

How can we see the majestic oak trees in front of us, the seagulls flying in perfect unison above or the clouds forming artistically like paintings on canvas while taking a walk and texting.

We are losing our ability to interact and listen to each other as texting limits thoughtful discussion. We can’t truly hear each other’s stories as a few lines of text hardly compares to seeing and listening to the other person in front of us.

How can we engage and enjoy our relationships when a family dinner in a restaurant turns into an occasion where all members are on their phones and texting away.

7)It Dampens our creativity

When we focus on one activity, like writing, there is a power in that, it helps guide us to organize our day around that responsibility. We have decided and prioritized it as our anchor task. This feeling of knowing what to do with an end-result in mind helps us to focus all our efforts on a single task, and so our work is decidedly much better.

If you commit to nothing, you’ll be distracted by everything.

We are in a continuous energy-sapping race to respond to so many calls, emails, and the full range of social media updates now available. We have substituted being busy with doing meaningful work and are contributing less to our life and that of others.

When you look at remarkable people who have left their marks on humanity becoming masters of their craft, they all had one thing in common-Great Focus and Concentration.

E.g., Leonardo Da Vinci would spend months on a single project.And Steve Jobs, the inventor of the iPhone, which is probably the single biggest contributor to smartphone multitasking, was famous for his powers of focus and staying on one aspect of creativity for hours on end.

I want to be continually alive, and that requires me to eliminate all the noise that surrounds me, and all that impedes my connection to life.
I want to see the different seasons unveil right in front of my eyes, connect deeply with my loved ones and enjoy the small wonders that life tends to throw at us when we are mindfully present.
I don’t want to feel busy and productive but rather engaged in a meaningful life.
I want to be the master of my smartphone and don’t want it to become an obstacle to my growth and work.

7 ways to create lasting habits in our lives.

Published by Rebelle Society 

I sat reflecting on my life, and all I could think of was that I had become the total sum of my good habits and, unfortunately, my bad ones too.

We create most of our habits unconsciously and then watch them take over the direction of our lives. And we wonder why we don’t stick to a regular writing practice or follow the new diet to lose those extra few pounds.

7 ways to create lasting habits in our lives.
Photo Credit: Sebastian Marchand

I am a great advocator of self-motivation with the ultimate goal to grow in many different ways. However, motivation can only do so much to make us change as it gives that initial boost but it’s only through conscious, consistent practice, or habits that we can achieve the change we crave.

We usually focus so much on the Goal that we lose track of the actual work we need to do to get there. The grandiosity of the goal overwhelms us, and we often give up on it quite easily. It’s by creating habits and chunking them into small parts that can drive us to that final destination.

Our Minds have two parts; the conscious mind, which is the creative one and the one we have little access to, which is completely controlled by the other part–the sub-conscious mind. This sub-conscious mind is like a recording machine, which takes in all the information from our conditioning, the environment, and our behavior, and it then adds it all up to direct our final actions.

The only way we can effect any change in our lives is to address the sub-conscious mind, and the best way to do this is by repetition and by creating habits. Just think of how we brush our teeth every morning without even thinking, as this has been repeated and repeated so that it has become part of the information that we embed in the mind.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”–Aristotle

Over the last 50 years, science and numerous psychological experiments have proved that there is a real power in creating and practicing habits. They confirm that a habit takes anything from 21 days to 60 days to be formed. And if we stick with them, then it will contribute to creating discipline and patience in our life, two attributes that can lead to an accomplished life.

They help guide us to that best quality of all—Persistence. As we dive into our practice, we increase our mental stamina, and we tend to finish whatever we started. Finishing a book, or a designated run sends a signal to our brain that we finish everything we start.

Habits will lead us to the present moment where real joy sits. The more time we spend in deliberate practice, where we shut our “monkey minds” off and perform the habits, the greater our link is to the creative, conscious mind.

We can create habits in 7 simple steps as stated below:

1) Set a Trigger

We need to set a trigger or reminder for us to initiate the behavior that we want to start.

E.g.I Prepare all my running gear before I sleep so that I can easily notice them when I get up in the morning.

2) Create a Routine or practice

The routine is the actual behavior we take on, to get us to the desired action. We should start with small tiny steps so that it would be difficult to fail and attractive to get into action.

E.g. I started my daily Push-Ups practice with 5, and I’m now up to 30.

3) Set a Reward

Set up a reward system so that we benefit immediately after the behavior. This reward need not be a holiday to Las Vegas after doing 30 push-ups, but some good positive talk to appreciate our good work.. The brain will store the good feelings we associated with the behavior and so the next time we are doing the habit those same good feeling comes up.

E.g. I reward myself with my only coffee in the morning straight after my daily meditation.

4) Find a Keystone habit

There is usually one habit that if we stick to religiously would help pull the rest of our life in order.

E.g. When I get up early before the sun comes out, then my whole day unfolds beautifully as I meditate well, journal crisply and become more productive at work.

5) Schedule the habits

We need to set a clear intention with a time and a day, just like we would with any regular appointment. Our habits need time and a place to live in our life. e.g. Want to run regularly? Running 7km on Tuesday 6 am must be marked clearly on the calendar.

Special Note: If there is not enough time for the practice, then just reduce the time we spend on it. Don’t abandon it, as it would break the pattern we create in our brain.
E.g. run for 15 minutes and not the full 60 minute run.

6) Be accountable

Announce the practice to friends, family or anyone who can hold us accountable.If the habit is imperative, then get a coach to help. This way we are more likely to stick to the new habit.

E.g. I joined an online writing group to journal more than 750 words a day and we are all accountable to each other in a very clever online process.

7) Design our environment for success

Put up posters, pictures of the habits we want to create in our offices and homes. Read articles or books and talk to everyone about them too. This association with the habit will reinforce it into the synapses of our brain.

E.g. I have put up visual pictures of all my habits in front of my writing desk and where I spend a lot of my time.

“How we spend our days is how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour and that one is what we are doing. There is no shortage of good days. It is good lives that are hard to come by.”–Annie Dillard

Doing the same thing every day for the last twenty years doesn’t sound exciting but who would describe Picasso’s life or that of Kahlil Gibran as ordinary. They followed the same routine and practice throughout their lives.

They would write or paint every day as part of their scheduled practice and in some days their work was average but on others it was dazzling. Who remembers their poor work after decades of practicing their craft? No one, as the many magnificent pieces have overshadowed the inferior ones.

That’s how their hearts purred, and their souls sang, but they needed that discipline of following through on their habits. And only until then, it became effortless for them to produce magical pieces of art that we have come to love so much.

11 Ways to Improve Willpower

Featured on Elephant Journal

“Strength doesn’t come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” Mahatma Gandhi

Willpower is probably the most critical capacity we have within our powers. It is more important than intelligence, physical beauty, and even personality. People who control their emotions, their actions, and their focus are more likely to be happier, healthier and achieve more in their life.

will power
Photo Credit: Jamie King

As our Brain evolved, the new part—the prefrontal cortex, developed on top of the old limbic impulsive one. Within this prefrontal cortex lies our capacity of willpower, and there are three components here:

• “I will”-this is when you need to do something. E.g., I will get to run three times a week as part of my training program.
• “I won’t”-this is when it’s important to say NO. E.g., I won’t go out on Saturday before my Sunday long Run.
• “I want”-this is the self-awareness to remember your end goal or what you want. E.g., I have the big picture in mind that I am training for a marathon to be able to decide when I say I will and when I say won’t.

Here are several ways that we can improve our willpower:

1.Focus on one task at a time

“Concentrate all your thoughts on the task at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.”-Alexander Graham Bell

Unfortunately, Willpower is not something that we have infinitely and as such we must use it effectively, or it loses its inherent power.
The constant distractions-the Internet, email, social media and the general speed of things that happen to us have hampered our ability to focus. Multitasking sounds great, but the most successful people and the best results are obtained by those who focus on one thing at a time.

2.Self-belief

“Three things are necessary, first, backbone; second, backbone; third, backbone.”- Charles Sumner

We need to believe in ourselves as powerful creators and remove all self-doubts within us that tell us we are not capable. This belief that we are enough and able to do what we aspire to do is crucial for us to maintain our willpower.

3.Persistence

“Success requires persistence, the ability to not give up in the face of failure. I believe that optimistic explanatory style is the key to persistence.”-Martin Seligman

Persistence is the most important trait to have when staying on the path to a goal. Rarely do things pan out as planned, and there will be many temporary failures on the way, but it’s the people who have grit and real belief in their end goals who usually achieve them.

4.Meditation
There is growing evidence in Neuroscience that people, who regularly meditate have stronger willpower than those who don’t. They are better at focusing their attention, impulse control, and self-awareness. Meditating builds our mental muscles, just like when we go to the gym and build our chest and bicep muscles.

5.Response-Mode
When a challenge or a critical moment arises, then take a few seconds to respond. Take a few long deep breaths and completely relax yourself. Look at the complete picture of things and react accordingly.
Here our prefrontal cortex will communicate the need for self-control to our lower brain regions that regulate our heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, and other automatic functions.
In this mode, you have a better chance of making the right decision without being impulsive or getting emotional.
It’s the complete opposite of the “fight-or-flight” response which is helpful in certain situations when something or someone threatens our life.

6.Exercise

Exercise is the closest thing to a super drug that is readily available for everyone, and it’s free. Working out also relieves ordinary, everyday stress, acting like an antidepressant. It makes your brain bigger, faster, and more powerful. It will also make you healthier and so pave the way for you to focus better and longer on a given task.

7.Build willpower with Small exercises
We can commit to small consistent acts of self-control—not looking at our smart-phones for 60 minutes, walking with good posture and limiting our coffee intake to one cup a day.
These may seem inconsequential, but they improve overall willpower, and we get into the habit of being more mindful of our choices. We learn to pause and then choose the most difficult way rather than the easy one.

8.Stress-relief strategies
Choose the most effective stress-relief strategies that work for you. E.g., Running, Reading, Writing, Yoga, Painting, Prayer, Journalling

These strategies boost our moods enhancing brain chemicals like serotonin and oxytocin and so induce the healing relaxation response while shutting down the brain’s stress response.

These differ from the quick fix strategies like Internet, watching TV or alcohol, which release dopamine and usually gratify us instantly but leave us with a feeling of let down afterward.

9.Self-Compassion
Love thyself is the key to greater willpower. We are much better served by being kind and supportive to ourselves rather than indulging in self-pity and self-loathing acts especially in the face of stress and failure.
Forgiveness rather than guilt will help get us back on track and closer to our goals. Encouragement will strengthen our willpower and resolve the negative inner voices that drain our motivation.

10.Pre-Committing
Pre-commitment is when you leave yourself with little option to do something or not to do something. You make the conditions as convenient as possible so as not to fail in what you want to achieve. E.g., Brush your teeth right after dinner to avoid snacking late at night.
Or to make any negative behavior as inconvenient as possible E.g., many writers disable the Wi-Fi capability of a laptop when writing to avowing surfing the Internet.

In her famous book The Willpower Instinct, Kelly McGonigal gives us a brilliant example of how pre-commitment works. She explains how in 1519, Hernan Cortes conquered Mexico by ordering his men to “burn their ships.” He knew that when they faced their first battle, the crew would be tempted to retreat if they knew they had the option to sail away. So according to legend, this act of pre-commitment left his men with no choice but to go forward. After burning their ships, they had no safety net, no escape plan and the only way out was to win their battles.

11.Clear Boundaries
If we are clear about our expectations, then it becomes much easier to exercise our willpower. Set clear boundaries on how you want to use your self-control and on the outcomes that you want. Then focus your energies solely to stay within them.
E.g., I will save a thousand dollars every month towards my children’s education fund.
This example gives a clear boundary for us to use our willpower as against saying I will save some money towards my children’s education fund.