How Affirmations Can Help Us Achieve Our Dreams

Affirmation
Photo Credit: Cody Black/Unsplash

“The Lord says: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you,” he screamed at us, quoting Mathew 7:7.

“Today, I’ll teach you how to use Affirmations to manifest your every wish,” Bob Proctor continued.

It was November 2011, and I was at the Bob Proctor Matrixx event. It was at the height of my New Age Spirituality dalliance. I had also watched The Secret and as such Affirmations and the Law of Attraction had become my new plan to fast track achieving my dreams.

In the event, we were first told that we needed to dream big, no matter how unrealistic our dreams were. Then every morning, we should write out our dreams in bold letters, set a specific date for receiving it and finally spend twenty minutes visualising ourselves as if we achieved our wish.

For example, imagine a cheque for $450,000 written out in your name with a fixed date three months down the line. Write that out every morning and visualise receiving the cheque in the mail. Voilà .The cheque will arrive.

I tried it for the next few months.

I wrote down that I wanted my company’s sales numbers to increase by 50% in the next three months. I would do this diligently every day, then spend time afterwards visualising that end of month sales did increase by 50%.

Nothing happened.

Not even a 5% increase.

That quickly sobered me up from my fascination with the many bizarre New Age teachings. I quickly went back to my scientific pragmatic default mode.

However, there was something about Affirmations that still appealed to me. As I learned more about them, I found that there was a way to accommodate Affirmations into my life without it being a magic wand that many gurus were making it out to be.

For me, Affirmations (and the Law of Attraction) work in a more pragmatic way. Like attracts like. If I’m passionate about something, then my energy will allow me to take action and soon everyone and everything would see my passion, then maybe, just maybe the universe will listen to me.

If I wanted my company sales numbers to go up by 50%, then I needed to be so passionate about it that everyone in the company would be infected with my passion. The sales team would increase their efforts—more cold calls, better marketing and effective closing of deals. This would then spill out to the customers and the universe.  Do the work. Visualise results. Rinse, repeat. Then maybe, just maybe the universe would meet me halfway.

Muhammad Ali would tell everyone and himself that he was the greatest until he did become so, but not after dedicating many hours to practice.

Arnold Schwarzenegger in an interview, said that, “When I was very young I visualised myself being and having what it was I wanted. Mentally I never had any doubts about it.”

At 15, he chanced on a bodybuilding magazine and told himself that he wanted to be the best bodybuilder in the world. At the age of 20, he became Mr. Universe. He then told himself he wanted to be a Hollywood star and at the age of 35, he became an immediate star with “Conan the Barbarian”.

He also declared that he wanted to become the President of the USA, and if it wasn’t for the fact that he was born in Austria and not America, then he probably would’ve. However, he did become Governor of California in 2003 at the age of 56, a position that is probably bigger than being the president of many other countries.

True, Schwarzenegger used affirmations for about twenty minutes a day, but he then spent the rest of his conscious time putting in the work to achieve his dreams.

Unfortunately, affirmations because of their association with many weird spiritual teachers and practices have had a bad rap.

Affirmations work when we think of them as simply directing our subconscious or self-talk. Our subconscious is being continually influenced by the people around us, and by the constant influx of information from our environment—advertising, television and the internet.

So why not influence it with our wishes too? The more we believe in ourselves and our dreams, the more we can get what we want.

Affirmations not only familiarise us with our wishes but also serve as inspiration—setting a direction and a reminder for where and who we want to be.

Most importantly, if we are willing to show up, do the work that would get us to our dreams, then affirmations will assist us in getting what we want.

Here are the best ways to use affirmations in a practical way using my current big affirmation as a case study:

I’m committed to writing a new book by the end of 2019.

  1. What Actions are you Committed to Taking?

Write down or visualise the actions that you are willing to commit to and not what you wish to receive. This is completely opposite to how many gurus teach affirmations.

I’m committed to writing, reading and improving my writing. This would mean I have to sacrifice more social events, close an hour early from work and rise earlier by an hour.

  1. Why are you Committed to Your Actions?

Affirmation must have meaning for you. The thing that you want or affirming in your life must mean something to you. You want to avoid chasing other people’s dreams as sooner or later, you will find that what you wanted is fake.

I love writing and want to have a second book where I can now share my new evolved thoughts with the world. Writing, reading and sharing with my readers gives me tremendous joy—something I can do for the rest of my life. When writing I understand thought concepts better. When sharing my writings, I help others pause and think in their otherwise busy lives.

  1. What are the Specific Actions that you are Committed to Taking?

Affirmations need to be tangible and specific. To say something that’s general like “I’m wealthy and I feel money coming into my life,” is absolutely useless and won’t get you anywhere. Rather describe in specifics what actions are you committed to taking.

I’m committed to reading every day for an hour first thing in the morning, studying the craft of writing once a week on Saturday mornings for two hours and finally writing every day from 5-6.30pm.

  1. Set a Date and be Specific for when to take Actions.

It’s important to have dates or cut-off points as that automatically makes you focus towards that date. You thus own the actions you said you’d commit to.

I’m committed to handing in a finished manuscript on 31st December 2019. I will also have intermediate dates like first draft to be complete by 31st October 2019.

  1. Write them down every Morning and recite them with Emotion.

Writing things down has power and it signals an importance to your subconscious mind. It’s as if when you write stuff down, then you prioritise the actions. Again, the recital is so that you can impress on your subconscious mind.

I’ve been doing this since March of this year. And when I recite them, I make sure that there’s no one in the room to hear me scream them out.

  1. Constantly Update and Evolve your Affirmations.

Our dreams and goals change and evolve over time. When one is achieved then we move onto something else. Let’s say a successful business person wants to have more romance in their life as in becoming successful, they had neglected their personal life, but are ready now.  Their affirmations will change to reflect their new ‘want.’

At the end of the year, I will look at where I’m at with the book and if I’m done then I’d find a new affirmation to aid me for my next wish. I currently have three main affirmations; health, work and my writing.

Affirmations do work. When affirmations are looked at in the above six ways, they become part of our artillery to go after our goal and not just a mere wish. The universe wants us to get into action before it can help us and act on our behalf.

I won’t scream at you on how to use affirmations, I’d rather whisper to you to start using them in the pragmatic ways above.

Start affirming today!

A Guide To Practical Spirituality

On September 21st, I spoke about Practical Spirituality at the HIS EVERY ACTION Summit Web Series. I decided to be part of this series because I realized people have portrayed spirituality as complicated and even mechanical. However there is the need to let people know that we can simplify, practicalize and learn to thoroughly enjoy every part of it through simple forms such as mindfulness, solitude, connection, giving and receiving. I believe that learning to infuse these seemingly little experiences into your life will make it more fulfilling.

Click Play to listen to the full audio.

 

How Walking like a Parisian Flâneur opened my eyes

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But the beauty is in the walking — we are betrayed by destinations.

― Gwyn Thomas

Featured on Elephant Journal

It’s the sixth day of a writing course, and I haven’t written a single word yet. Deadline day is looming, and I’m finding it difficult to get started. Writers surround me: teachers, colleagues and weird people in cafes. I’m in Paris for God’s sake! This is where everyone gets inspired to write. I’m away from the stress of my business and the mundaneness of my life. The environment is perfect for writing.

I read somewhere there is nothing like writer’s block, but rather it’s when there are deeper issues that trouble us which then impend our freedom to write.

I take a break from staring at the blank computer to get some fresh air and decide to take a walk to clear my thoughts, and without knowing where I’m going. The sun sets late in the Parisian summers and the long days make walking not just appealing but also soul nourishing. I decide that there will be no writing today and that thought alone frees me.

I wander through the streets of Paris like a true flâneur —a term coined by Charles Baudelaire. It means to saunter through the city aimlessly experiencing it through our senses, removing ourselves from the world and putting ourselves into the heart of a city and becoming one with it.

I find myself in front of the Jardin du Luxembourg. The gardens are spread over many acres. All kinds of flowers bloom in different colors, offering differing scents that urge creativity whenever you breathe. I look around and see people laughing, children playing and lovers kissing. Most of all I see and feel life, and it’s everywhere. No one seems to care that I can’t write.

The gardens are full of pigeons that look merry and busy. One approaches me and turns its head towards me, and it must be the fattest bird I’ve ever seen. I’m sure it’s all the croissants and baguettes the birds get to eat when people flock to the gardens. This big one looks me straight in the eye as if mocking me, then hops away, too lazy to fly off.

I walk towards the huge colonnades of trees on the other side. The gardens in front of the trees are beautifully mowed and look like one big green carpet. I look at the trees now directly above me, and a slight breeze brushes my face. I’m in complete awe of this moment, and I feel all the stress I’ve brought over with me, slowly dissipate into the thin air.

I’m feeling much better now and continue my discovery of Paris, and I’m astonished how history finds me on every road, nook and alley of this city and I find myself outside the University of Paris-Sorbonne, where Victor Hugo and many other notable figures went to.

I take a right at the end of the Pantheon and walk for a while to find myself in Place Contrescarpe. I’m in front of a Patisserie Pascal Pinaud, and a strawberry tart jumps out at me. I sit down for a coffee and the sugar that I crave.

On my right, an old lady is reading an English book and she smiles at me. I ask her if this was the area that Hemingway frequented and she points out to a plaque that is approximately twenty metres away, which shows where Hemingway lived with Hadley, his first wife when they moved to Paris.

I recall how one day my son asked me why my sudden passion for writing. Was it out of loneliness? Perhaps, but maybe, I finally reached a time when I couldn’t bottle up any more of my thoughts, feelings and words and they had to come out.

I had lived most of my life pursuing success, money and prestige. I had been like a robot using only my mind to keep my feet firmly on the material side of life while ignoring my heart. Writing seems to have been something that lay dormant in me; it was hidden deep in the crevasses of my heart, waiting to explode like a wild volcanic eruption.

At first, I started journaling early in the morning, trying to decipher my dreams and to look at my previous day’s actions. However, it then grew into something much more, helping me to look at my feelings and how they affected my actions.

I have been transformed emotionally and slowly releasing myself from the shackles that have held me back since childhood. I’ve started aligning my feelings and actions. The more I do that, the more I feel free and the closer I get to my true self. And the further away I get from my old inauthentic ways of living.

I think about Hemingway and how he would write early in the morning before hitting the cafes. I loved the way especially in those early Paris years how dedicated and passionate he was to become a great writer. It was true he loved to drink and have a good time, but many forget the hours he “bled on the typewriter,” and the joy he got after writing a few good hours.

It must have been a wonderful time to live in this part of Paris surrounded by the”lost generation”–the many writers, poets, painters and musicians that would shape our world for the next hundred years.

I turn around to say goodbye to the old woman, but she has left. I get up and stroll around to notice a vendor wearing dark trousers and a navy blue shirt with a short apron on top. He is beaming, and his smile is not only inviting but exudes joy. He talks in rapid French to a couple of locals, and I can’t understand a word. He holds a purple aubergine in his hands, and I imagine he is explaining how fresh it is (having just received his consignment only a few hours ago) and how best to cook it.

He does this with such passion that I want to buy the aubergine, myself, even though I wouldn’t know what to do with it. I just keep watching him for a while as he connects with people. He obviously loves what he is doing.

I am envious—I want to be free enough to get lost in the present moment. I wonder if writing could become the platform that would make me feel authentic to myself, where I could finally lose my analytical thoughts and become more present.

All the walking not only cleared my mind but allowed many new thoughts to surface. I was now having a hard time containing all my thoughts.I enter one of those quintessential Parisian cafes, La Gueuze, and bring out my laptop to capture my thoughts.

I sit next to three youngsters drinking beers that are larger than their backpacks. Everyone sits facing the outside; it’s like no one in Paris wants to miss out on what’s happening out there.

I sip my glass of Bordeaux and wonder if this is how my future is going to be, walking, discovering cities by foot and then sitting in cafes writing all about it.

5 Ways to Practice Mindfulness and “Be here now”

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Photo Credit: Fernando Brasil

“Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Published by Elephant Journal

My travel date is fast approaching. For some reason, I begin to worry and fret. I start postponing everything I’m doing or I need to do till I return. It’s as if the world stops because I’m travelling in a few weeks.

The funny thing is that I don’t have a fear of flying. Travelling to Paris on a writing course will be exciting, fun and rejuvenating. It’s more like a journey of self-discovery than a holiday and its something that I’ve always wanted to do. I’ll be alone for a month without family, friends or the worries of work that I’m glad to leave behind.

What is it that makes me so anxious and worried about my impending travel date?  Is it my deep-rooted fear of getting out of my comfort zone? Or perhaps my fear of uncertainty, which allows my mind to wander about the future and picture different scenarios and situations?

It’s probably both of which drive my monkey mind into overload and lets my thoughts go to my memories where I judge my previous actions and reactions or project forward, analyzing what kind of mishaps and problems await me.

The identification with our thoughts is a tiring process and the more we complicate our lives and busy our minds, the more restless we become. To make matters worse, we become aware of our thinking and overanalyzing, and this makes it even more exhausting.

We need to remind ourselves that we are not our thoughts, which can often appear from thin air and disappear almost as quick. The best way to stop going back to the past, or project to the future is by focusing on the present–Practice Mindfulness.

This is when we zero in on the present thing that we are doing, such as watching a sunset, playing with our children or writing poetry where we lose ourselves completely and every minute becomes joyful and soul nourishing. Time just stops and nothing else matters. There is a stillness and a certain form of inner peace engulfs us. We stop talking to the outside world and more importantly we stop listening to our incessant inner voice.

According to Thich Nhat Hanh “Mindfulness begins with an awareness of the simplest action: breathing in, knowing that you are breathing in; breathing out, know that you are breathing out.”

These are the things I do that have helped me become more in the now:

1) Meditation

I’m no Meditation expert, but my practice has helped make me more peaceful, less stressful and much more mindful. I use the breath technique, which is not too complicated. I sit still for twenty minutes first thing in the morning.

I’m not always successful as thoughts do wander in but completing my practice every day is a discipline that sets my day on the right track and becomes the support for the rest of my conscious, mindful acts during the day.

2) Mindful moments

I’ve consciously set out to have more presence in my day-to-day life, where I try to lose myself in sporadic moments throughout my day. This not only makes me feel good immediately but also has a compounding effect on the way my mind learns not to jump from one thought to another.

For example:

  • I set my alarm for three different times in the day where I stop whatever I’m doing and take ten deep conscious breaths.
  • Whenever I see the birds flying above, I stop and take a few moments watching them fly in absolute awe.
  • If I’m lucky enough to be in a city with a lovely sunset, I make sure I witness its splendor.
  • Every time I drink an espresso (3-4 times a day), I don’t do anything or think of anything. I inhale the aroma of the coffee, I sip it slowly and I savour every moment of this.
3) Doing one task at a time

“Just focus on the next hour, the next thing, the next task. Do it will all your heart and do it until the end.”

This little trick has been advocated since time immemorial from Benjamin Franklin to Warren Buffet. It simply means don’t multitask and start by doing the most difficult task first and only when finished with the first task, should you move to the next one. I do this till I finish all my designated tasks for the day and I try to keep my tasks as few as possible so as not to exceed three per day.

4) Reading Fiction or Poetry

 “Reading is the sole means by which we slip, involuntarily, often helplessly, into another’s skin, another’s voice, another’s soul.” -Joyce Carol Oates

I love reading fiction, especially the epic novels like Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes, and Moby Dick by Herman Melville. I also love the works of: Tolstoy, Murakami and Hemingway. No matter how stressed I am in my life, it all just slips away when I lose myself in a great story where I’m transported to other realms I never knew existed.

Reading poetry by Rumi or Gibran especially at night before I sleep or any of the sacred texts like the Bhagavad Gita allows me to connect deep into my being, compelling me towards my inner hidden truths. This puts me in such peace that I wake up with my mind completely serene.

5) Strategically schedule emails, Internet use and social media

Getting notifications of email, instant messages and social media on our phones is not the ideal way to calm our swaying thoughts. They add fuel to the fire and keep us hooked into the never-ending information loop which gets us addicted to our phones or computers making us anxious and edgy.

We need to be disciplined and smart in how we control technology rather than allowing it to control us. It’s not easy, but the best way I’ve found to take control is by scheduling my use. I check emails, social media and use the Internet only twice a day; late in the morning and late in the afternoon for a limited time of 30-45 minutes.

Our state of being is intimately connected with our minds. We can’t stop the triggering of unhappy memories, self-critical thoughts and judgemental ways of thinking, but we can stop what happens next.

The more we put ourselves in that present moment, the better chance we have of calming our minds and relieving the anxiety and worry that surrounds us.

‘Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves – slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment. Only this moment is life.’ – Thich Nhat Hanh

3 Great Books that remind me that my Ultimate Path is Freedom

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Photo credit: Bertvthul

 

“One must find the source within one’s own Self, one must possess it. Everything else was seeking — a detour, an error.”
― Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

Published by Elephant Journal

After my third reading of Hermann Hesse’s Siddhartha, I closed my eyes, drinking in the words and thinking of how these words had unconsciously influenced my self-discovery journey.

I’m certain that everyone needs to embark on a self-discovery journey in his or her lifetime. After all, isn’t that our ultimate purpose in this physical world?

Going to school, finding a great job, parenting, setting up businesses, creating art and admiring beauty are wonderful things, but they are only the means for us to live our journeys.

The end-goal will always be freedom. Freedom to live the way our hearts desire. Freedom to discover who we must become. Freedom to ask why we came into being. Freedom to change our lives and start again, if we are not satisfied.

We tend to lose track of our freedom and get distracted by our fears, circumstances, and the society. We allow the noise around us to drown the whispers that speak of our inner hidden truths.

This is why it’s so important to take a step back every now and then, review our lives, and question our life’s philosophy. Why are we here? Where are we headed? What are the obstacles standing in our way? Can we change our direction?

In The Slight Edge, Jeff Olson argues that:

On its way to landing astronauts safely on the surface of the moon, the Apollo rocket was actually on course only 2 to 3 percent of the time. Which means that for at least 97 percent of the time it took to get from the Earth to the moon it was off course. And it reached the moon—safely—and returned to tell the tale. The Apollo, at the time, was one of the most sophisticated, expensive, and finely calibrated pieces of technology ever devised and was always correcting its own off-course errors twenty-nine minutes out of every thirty.

We always need reminders to keep us on track. We need to be more like the Apollo and constantly correct our course. The three books summarised below are the ones I read regularly so that I’m nudged into self-correcting my direction, path and journey.

1. Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse

“I shall no longer be instructed by the Yoga Veda or the Aharva Veda, or the ascetics, or any other doctrine whatsoever. I shall learn from myself, be a pupil of myself; I shall get to know myself, the mystery of Siddhartha.” He looked around as if he were seeing the world for the first time.” ― Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha

Siddhartha leaves his home and family in search of enlightenment and starts as an ascetic wandering beggar of the Shramanas. He then meets and learns a lot from the Buddha but he believes that everyone needs to learn by his experience. He cannot accept the Buddha’s teachings even though they are full of wisdom.

Siddhartha renounces his spirituality by falling in love with a beautiful courtesan called Kamala. She introduces him to a merchant called Kamaswami, Siddhartha learns the trade and becomes incredibly successful as the years go by. He now becomes materialistic, starts to gamble and loses his way and his sense of purpose.

One morning after waking from a dream, he reflects upon his life and realizes he is tired of his present life and that he has discarded all that was valuable within himself.

He leaves everything behind and finds himself sitting in front of a river. He befriends the ferryman, allowing both the ferryman and the river to become his spiritual teachers. It is here that he becomes enlightened and learns that all his feelings, experiences and sufferings are part of a great fellowship of all things connected in the cyclical unity of nature.

He now understands that one’s path in life is not only about seeking but also finding. We can learn from great masters like the Buddha, but we can’t mimic their lives, rather, we apply what we learn to our experiences and feelings.

The true Nirvana is by understanding that only the “Now” exists, and the past and future exist only in our minds.

2. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

“When you want something, all the Universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”-Paulo Coelho

Santiago, a young shepherd from Andalusia embarks on a journey after having a recurring dream where a child tells him to seek a treasure at the foot of the Egyptian pyramids. He travels far and wide, learns a lot from different teachers while meeting obstacles. He finally discovers the treasure he was looking for was underneath his bed in his village the whole time.

The underlying message in the book is one of hope and that all roads would eventually lead to a single path that takes us towards our “Personal Legend” or our freedom.

Life is about the journey, the process, the means and not necessarily the outcome. It’s about walking our path, one that we need to create and craft on our own, without any influence from our environment. The book teaches us that the real treasure lies in our hearts thus there is no need to go outside to search for treasure.

The only path to freedom is through our inner world.

3. Jonathan Livingstone Seagull  by Richard Bach

“You have the freedom to be yourself, your true self, here and now, and nothing can stand in your way”.”
― Richard Bach

Jonathan Livingston Seagull is a parable about a seagull who works hard to become the best flying seagull within his seagull community. He withstands being shunned and ridiculed for his dream, and keeps on pursuing this dream driven by his inner craving to be authentic.

All he wants is to be free in order to be himself. He knows there’s more to life than eating and surviving like all the other seagulls and he’s determined on becoming the best flying seagull ever.

Jonathan listens to his inner voice and senses that freedom can only be had by the pursuit of perfection in flying. He continues to follow his path despite the odds, and is courageous and dogged in his pursuit of freedom of his true self.

Every time I re-read any of these books, I’m reminded that I need to seek and find my path, my road less travelled—My freedom. The numerous teachers and heroes around me can inspire me, but I can’t follow their paths.

I am a unique living being and I have to create my unique Path. It won’t be given to me or handed down to me, but it’s for me to forge it, working with the raw materials of whom I am and the understanding of why I came into being.

6 Lessons I’ve Learned About Life Through Writing

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Photo Credit: David Clode

Published by Elephant Journal

Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. Benjamin Franklin

I am a born-again writer, and it’s been nearly three years since I started to write. Writing was a passion that had lain dormant; it was hidden deep in the crevasses of my heart, waiting to explode like a wild volcanic eruption.

This love affair with writing has taken me from depressing lows that I can’t wish on anyone to ecstatic new heights. It’s a love story that can rival that of Henry Miller and Anais Nin.

My journey started with writing my “Morning Pages” as heralded by Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way. I would decipher my dreams and go on to analyze my previous day’s actions and take a deeper look into the fears that were holding me back. It also allowed me to celebrate my wins and constantly reminded me of why I loved myself.

Writing has transformed me and released me from the shackles that have held me back since childhood. It has led to many of my spiritual trysts where I meet my true self and feel the power of grace within me. It has penetrated deep into my soul, always asking and forever searching for the best way for me to be authentic.

I am still in my toddler years as a writer, but already writing has taught me many lessons that I can apply in my life. It has stripped me of my arrogant egoic ways and taken me out the closed-box mentality that was me for so many years.

These are the lessons that I’ve learned from writing:

1. Pain is part of life and nothing to fear.

“When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.” —Kurt Vonnegut

Writing is often painful, gut-wrenching, energy sapping and can ruin self-esteem. I hate it when I don’t write as the thought of not doing so hangs over me like a shadow, judging me, labelling me as a loser. I hate it when my mind compares the normalcy of day to day things like doing errands, earning a living, and socializing with the power and allure of doing something I love.

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”- Ernest Hemingway.

Writing is simple but not easy. I hate it when it’s so hard that words get stuck in my throat, chest and heart and their flow from mind to fingers typing away become restricted.

However, the rewards and personal growth I do get from writing makes up for all the pain. It has shown me that pain is often the doorway to awareness and change in our lives. It’s something that’s more powerful than happiness.

How can we grow without pain? What kind of life is living without heartache, tears and blood?

2. Vulnerability is power

“If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.” -Virginia Woolf

Writing has allowed me to understand why being vulnerable makes me a better man. I am eager to share my thoughts, travails, and success. I want to be heard, and show my true self to the world.

I’ve let down the heavy armour I’ve worn since my adolescence and unveiled my emotional fragility. I now recognise that vulnerability is not weakness but rather, a great power that makes us more connected to others and more engaged in life. I want to feel my way into life, rather than sit behind a mask watching life pass me by.

“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.” John Steinbeck, East of Eden

The thought that there is no perfection in life has liberated me as I now appreciate that life is about being present and being ourselves.

Vulnerability allows us to dig deep into ourselves leading us to our core where all uncertainty, excitement, and meaningful experiences exist. We have a better chance of unravelling the gems that hide beneath the many layers of our ego.

3) Self-Discipline and Grit protects our passion.

“At its best, the sensation of writing is that of any unmerited grace. It is handed to you, but only if you look for it. You search, you break your heart, your back, your brain, and then — and only then — it is handed to you.”—Annie Dillard

We need a strong will and discipline in life to be able to achieve our goals. People assume that just because someone enjoys whatever they are doing means fewer hours of hard work. On the contrary, the people who enjoy what they do and are good at it, whether that’s writing, singing or starting a new business have the steely determination to put in the hard hours.

They realise that the sense of joy will follow when they remain disciplined and committed to that practice. And that the muse will only appear when we prove our diligence and focus deeply on the practice at hand.

The discipline instilled within allows us to turn failures into stepping stones and rejection becomes a detour to bigger and better opportunities.

I’ve had to sacrifice certain things in my life, like social activities but I’ve optimized my life so that I can focus more on my writing. Now, things that don’t mean much to me are slowly losing their value and fading away from my life.

4) Joy is a state of being

“It’s the most satisfying occupation man has discovered yet because you never can quite do it as well as you want to, so there’s always something to wake up tomorrow morning to do.”—William Faulkner

Writing has led me to several experiences that I call spiritual ones. I find myself in “flow” where time just passes and I can feel my heart is singing. The joy I get from completing my job is something I can hardly put into words.

This kind of joy is not like fleeting moments of happiness but something more, an overlying feeling that encapsulates my being, arming me with a deep knowing that I matter in this world, that I belong and most importantly that I am loved.

Listening to some soft classical music and writing early in the morning when I’m all alone before most people are awake remains one of the most joyful experiences that I achieve.

5) The universe is mysterious and on our side

“Understanding is not a piercing of the mystery, but an acceptance of it, a living blissfully with it, in it, through and by it.”—Henry Miller

I often get a thought, an idea on what to write about. It’s usually a question that I want some answers for in my own life. I set an intention to write, for example, about Emotional Intelligence.

Suddenly my mind is flooded with new and different ideas. Also links, books and emails arrive serendipitously to aid me in writing my piece. It’s like the Universe has been invoked to come to my help.

I often start writing about a topic and find myself writing something completely different to what I had intended. I read it again and again and it’s like someone else was writing and it’s a new insight that I never thought about before I started typing away.

6) Serving Humanity makes us grow

“You don’t write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.”F. Scott Fitzgerald

Writing has taught me that we all have something to say, something to give and a role to play in life. We are all somehow, connected and as such the more we do give back, the more we grow as human beings.

We often look at the famous writers, billionaires, and social entrepreneurs and think that they are the ones whose duty is to give. We shun our responsibility to give back and more importantly lose the opportunity to grow as human beings.

Writing an article that inspires one person to pursue change and become a better person is as necessary as Bill Gates pledging billions to help eradicate Malaria in Africa within a generation.

The lessons I’ve learned in writing apply to whatever we choose to do in life, whether that’s setting up a business, singing or working at a job we love.

Life is all about finding the platform where we become our authentic selves, which allows us to explore our potential, get us out of our comfort zones so that we can grow in serving humanity.

9 Ways To Tame The Ego And Transcend Into Our Hidden Spiritual Being

9 Ways To Tame The Ego And Transcend Into Our Hidden Spiritual Being

“Two people have been living in you all of your life. One is the ego, garrulous, demanding, hysterical, and calculating; the other is the hidden spiritual being, whose still voice of wisdom you have only rarely heard or attended to.”

-Sogyal Rinpoche in The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

Published by Elephant Journal

I was under pressure at work, and I was impatient for results. I berated and belittled the efforts of an employee at the company I manage. I kept my tirade going for a few minutes until I realized that tears were flowing down her cheeks. I was overcome with sorrow and regret and even though I was right to be frustrated, my response was over the top.

For the first time, I realized how I had portrayed an image of ‘the tough boss”. It was a mask that didn’t reflect my true inner being and the compassion that I have for my employees. I was used to being the “tough boss”, a role; I just didn’t know how to let go.

Ego is necessary and important because it defines our sense of self, clarifies our boundaries and develops our personality while protecting our fragile inner self from disappointment, rejection, and other harm caused by society and circumstances around us.

However, the ego is more often the false self-image that we represent, and we get trapped into living our lives in a negative way. It is built early on in our lives by the many conditioned beliefs we carry with us. All those paradigms when not worked on crystallize into limiting and self-defeating beliefs and so create the mask that we wear throughout our lives.

The ego always needs validation and identification with a form to remain nourished and to grow. Its growth directly opposes any feeling of inner peace and harmony we can feel as it’s trying to conceal our truths. It’s manipulative and often creates a false and fickle self-worth.

The ego is the total of all our fears, worries and negative thoughts and provides the incessant inner voice that doubts us and holds us back from whatever opportunity of bewilderment, intuition and awe we might have come our way.

For us to acknowledge our uniqueness, power, and authenticity, then we must overcome and transcend the ego and go to a place where our truths reside. We can do so by letting go and becoming aware of the false masks we often wear that lead to our egoic behavior.

These are 9 ways to tame the ego:

1. Let go of the need to win, to be right and superior

Winning, being perfect and becoming superior are unattainable and as such when we crave them, we are validating our ego, and its behaviour. We need to focus on doing what gives us contentment, embrace compassion and what brings peace to any situation.

The world is not divided into winners and losers and in the eyes of God, we are all equal and to think otherwise will lead us to feel miserable as we often judge ourselves the hardest. What starts as a superiority outlook quickly turns into feeling despairingly inferior?

In my example mentioned above, my need to be right was of little consequence when it meant hurting another human being.

“When the choice is to be right or to be kind, always make the choice that brings peace.” ― Wayne W. Dyer

2. Stop Identification with ‘The Perfect Body Image.’

Society, the media and consumerism want us to believe that people with six packs and great bodies are better than the rest of us. The reality is that the more we obsess with having the perfect body image, the less complete of a person we become.

I run and work out regularly, but I do so to remain healthy, and because I enjoy it. I listen to my body’s needs, rather than push it hard so that I can have a model’s six-pack. My body image doesn’t define who I am.

3. Stop Identification with Achievements.

We are not our achievements but rather who we become and how we feel when we achieve things. We quickly get bored with the millions, the titles, the mountains we scale, the races we ran, if they don’t give us a feeling of contentment.

There is a big game being played out in the universe, and we are just a minute part of it. There is a mysterious power that guides us to many of our achievements, and we are only observers meant to experience those journeys, but the ego in us prevents us from accepting this reasoning.

I broke my hand in a freak accident, and it led to me start running instead of going to the gym. Running a half-marathon race remains one of the most enjoyable experiences I’ve ever had.

4. Stop Identification with luxury labels

Many equate their self-worth with the car they drive, the first class flights they travel on and the Chanel bag they own. As we become aware of our Egoic behaviour, we start to notice how futile it is to believe that a designer labelled item can increase our self-worth. We rather find that this route will lead us to a never-ending abyss that can never be satisfied–The mantra of ego is more.

I promised myself to buy a Rolex watch when I made a certain amount of money. I enjoyed the watch for a few weeks and then suddenly stopped wearing it. I finally sold it, as looking at it made me feel very shallow and materialistic.

5. We are not our reputation

Our reputation or what people think of us doesn’t create our success or serve us whatsoever, as it’s something outside our control. All the great people who made a difference in our world were headstrong and ignored all the criticism and acclaim of society.

Steve Jobs stayed on course towards Apple’s vision, in producing beautiful products and did not allow the business world to influence his ideas. He met many setbacks, not least being ousted from the company he founded but returned triumphant making Apple the number one company in the world.

6. We are not our thoughts or emotions

“Rule your mind or it will rule you”- Buddha

The livelihood of the ego is in fear. The more we worry or get anxious, the more we fall prey to the ego’s hold. We must recognise that most of our fears are unwarranted, and that worrying itself is an exercise in futility.

On the day that I travel, I’m usually anxious and worry so much because I don’t like change and yet the moment the plane doors shut and it takes off, I lose my anxiety and laugh at myself for being worried the whole day.

7. Don’t take things personally.

When someone doesn’t greet us, or they don’t share our opinion, then our ego tries to convince us that they are attacking us personally. The reality is that life is not only about me, myself and I.

Most of the times we are not victimised, and it’s rather our imagination controlled by our ego that leads us astray leaving us to blame others instead of giving our best.

8. Respond and don’t react

We face many situations where our ego urges us to react rather than take a few breaths to calm down and see the big picture, which then enables us to respond in a more thoughtful way.

Why react to an angry driver who insults us for no apparent reason? If they act out of ego, then when we don’t react, we often bring out the rationality in them, and they see themselves as petty and often apologise.

9. Stop putting people down

Putting people down continually and seeing the worst in their actions reflects poorly on us as we only do so to make ourselves feel better. Criticism is sometimes important to motivate and correct, but it becomes devastating in its effect when it’s done solely to condemn.

Research suggests that a 5:1 ratio of positive comments to negative ones is the best way to motivate employees in the workplace, and that is something that can be extended to our relationships and our self-talk.

Once we find the courage to tame our ego and transcend towards our true authentic self, we start to connect with everything and everyone on an intimate level. We recognise that our ego is not keeping us safe but rather separate from our reality.

We come face to face with our true authentic self and awaken to the aliveness within us and return to that “Hidden Spiritual Being.” 

The 5 People Who Rocked My World in 2015

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I’m admittedly a learning junkie and only come alive when my curiosity and interest in the world are piqued. I’m fascinated by new learnings and discoveries every day, and they have been central to any impending change in my life.

Every year I stumble upon new teachers and fresh material and 2015 has been no exception.And whether it’s through reading their blogs, listening to their podcasts or watching their interviews or talks I’ve become a better man.

These are the 5 people who rocked my world in 2015:

1.Tim Ferris-The 4-hour Workweek 

“I’ll repeat something you might consider tattooing on your forehead: What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.” ― Timothy Ferriss

He is the author of the New York times best seller 4-hour workweek, blogger, self-experimenter, podcaster and health and body expert. He also successfully funds start-ups in silicon valley. He is also a lover of Stoicism and in particular, Seneca.

He deconstructs complicated concepts into clear, understandable ideas which show that most things are achievable and do-able. His how-to-do steps are geared to help the common man see that nothing is impossible and that anything is possible.If there was anyone who epitomises the new type of self-help guru, then it’s him.

He reached the Tango National Finals in Argentina while practicing for less than a year and took up Tai-chi grappling and won the national championship in Taiwan. He speaks Japanese and Mandarin fluently and in fact, there isn’t much he can’t do when he sets his mind to it.

I love his podcasts, which are long and funny. The variety of guests from movie stars like Jamie Foxx, to chess prodigy–Joshua Waitzkin, and Body and fitness stars, to Venture capitalists based in Silicon Valley is simply amazing. It has opened a new world for me, and it’s like even though I’m not in that world but listening to the interviews I become part of them and learn different things from all those successful people.

My Biggest Take-away

Taking control of  my time and my life. I’ve also started experimenting with new interests and habits and find it is the best way to learn about ourselves.

2.Leo Babauta-Zen Habits blog

“Simplicity boils down to two steps: Identify the essential. Eliminate the rest.” ― Leo Babauta

Simplicity, minimalism and contentment are what you get when you visit his site. I love the whiteness of his blog, the simple concepts he writes about and the succinct words he uses that will immediately send your being into peace and calmness.

Here’s a guy who set up his blog in Guam back in 2007 and in 2011 was listed on Time’s 50 best websites.He writes about meditation, presence and contentment in life in such a pragmatic way that you don’t feel obliged to move to Tibet and live a monk’s life.

My Biggest Take-away

The power of less; We work harder, become stressed, to earn more, but the extra money that goes on a supposed better way of living (extra cars, bigger homes, premier travel) makes us less happy as we start to complicate our lives. The easiest formula is to work less, spend less and be more at peace now, not when we retire.

3.James Clear-James Clear Blog

“Becoming the type of person you want to become — someone who lives by a stronger standard, someone who believes in themselves, someone who can be counted on by the people that matter to them — is about the daily process you follow and not the ultimate product you achieve.” ―James Clear

He shares ideas for using behavior science to improve your performance and master your habits. His articles have been published in Forbes, Huffington post and many other sites. The scientific approach and depth of his content always leave you with a clear understanding of a concept, and you simply, can’t forget his teachings.

My Biggest Take-away

Learning how to instill habits in my life so that I can focus on my actual practice rather than the actual goal e.g. I set a target to write an hour a day, rather than setting an overwhelming goal of writing a book for the year. And when I maintain my practice, I will achieve the target and the ultimate goal.

4.Maria Popova-Brain Pickings 

“This is the power of art: The power to transcend our own self-interest, our solipsistic zoom-lens on life, and relate to the world and each other with more integrity, more curiosity, more wholeheartedness.” ― Maria Popova

Maria Popova is the creator of Brainpickings.org. She describes it; Brain Pickings is “your LEGO treasure chest, full of pieces across art, design, science, technology, philosophy, history, politics, psychology, sociology, ecology, anthropology, you-name-itology.”

Her blog is one for the intellectuals and people who like to understand the original concepts and it’s unrivaled in the richness of material. She weaves pieces and themes from old and new books, past and present authors illuminating insights, directly or indirectly, into that grand question of how to live, and how to live well.

I can’t wait for Sunday evenings when I read her new publications–they have liberated my thinking and took me to worlds I’ve either forgotten or never knew existed.

My Biggest Take-away

The Gold is in the old books and the even older authors. Why read a modern book which portrays a minute concept from Albert Camus, when she goes straight to his book and offers us his direct words and her explanations all in a great blog piece.

5.Derek Sivers-Sivers Blog

“If you think your life’s purpose needs to hit you like a lightning bolt, you’ll overlook the little day-to-day things that fascinate you.” ― Derek Sivers

He’s best known for selling his former company CD Baby an online CD store for independent musicians, with over $100M in sales for over 150,000 musician clients.He gave away most of his money and now chooses to live spartanly and spontaneously, moving to a new country every few years, doing whatever he feels like doing.

He truly does live the present moment and is living proof, of how to become non-attached to things,while living in our world and not on an isolated mountain.

Derek Sivers Interview-The Santa Monica bike ride story

“I do a 15-mile bike ride in Santa Monica, a few days a week at full-speed, 100%,head-down, red-faced, sprinting speed.I’d finish exhausted and looked at the time.43 minutes.Every time. After a few months, I was getting less enthusiastic about this bike ride. I think had mentally linked it with being completely exhausted.

So one day I decided I would do the same ride, but just chill. Take it easy, nice and slow. OK not super-slow, but dialing it back to about 50% of my usual effort. What a fun ride. I was relaxed, and smiling, and looking around. Not red-faced. I was barely giving it any effort.I saw two dolphins in the water. A pelican flew right over me in Marina del Ray. I had to laugh at the novelty of it.I’m usually so damn driven, always doing everything as intensely as I can. It was so nice to take it easy for once. I felt I could do this forever, without any exhaustion.

When I finished, I looked at the time. 45 minutes.What?!? How could that be? Yep. I double-checked. 45 minutes, as compared to my usual 43. So apparently all of that exhausting, red-faced, full-on push-push-push I had been doing only gave me a 4% boost.I could just take it easy, and get 96% of the results.And what a difference in experience! To go the same distance, in about the same time, but one way leaves me exhausted, and the other way rejeuvenated.This was really profound for me, and I think of it often.”

My Biggest Take-away

I’m always running for more, for better, for higher, and after listening to above interview, I’ve now calmed down and 2016 has been less stressful and more fun.

4 Ways to Discover Authenticity

Discovering-Myself
Photo Credit: Morgan Sessions

“This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
― William Shakespeare, Hamlet

Published by Elephant Journal

I was bored, ambivalent and felt no passion for life. My business was going through tough times, and my kids were growing up so fast that they had little time for me.

I was getting regular bouts of flu and was just not feeling good about myself.I looked closely at the mirror. I didn’t like what I saw. How had the last twenty years flown by? Why couldn’t I recall any great moments?

The brutal truth was that I had become a robot, a man tied down to responsibilities and tasks. I wore a straitjacket and labeled it as my life. I found myself in an existential crisis.

Has everything I’ve done in my 40-year existence not been what I wanted?

Who am I?

What am I living for?

I didn’t have any answers, but at least, I now had the will to search and ask. My search inevitably led to one word—Authenticity.

Authenticity doesn’t just mean being honest about ourselves. It doesn’t just mean living a positive and giving life. It doesn’t mean being a new-agey person who doesn’t eat meat and meditates all the time.

Authenticity is rather becoming the master of our lives. The word authenticity has Latin roots which today means “Author.” This mastery of life we choose is based on our Values, Principles and Aspirations.

The world-renowned Psychologist Abraham Maslow says: ”What a man can be, he must be.” He later went on to call this concept the need for Self-Actualization.

For me, it means recognizing that:

  • We are spirit, a part of a supreme being coming into human form to have this Physical experience on earth.
  • We are here to shed layer after layer of our density, to become lighter and find our inner core, or in other words learn and grow.
  • We have a unique gift or talent and we must find it and work on it, as it will give us the greatest platform to be who we must be and so serve humanity.

These are some ways to start our self-discovery journey into becoming authentic:

1)Looking at the Mirror

We start by questioning, reflecting and analysing the way we are living our lives. We must realise that our only goal in life is to live authentically.

We need to recognise that suffering comes from us not being authentic, not awakening and not connecting to our real selves. We can’t allow the ego and its many faces such as anger, greed and fear to sidetrack us from our true path.

We are lulled into a false sense of belief and remain in a comfort zone that paralyses us into seeking an easy path but not the right way.We do things because we have to. We take jobs to survive. We follow the herd and get caught up in living a life that is not meant for us.

My journey started almost seven years ago when I decided I needed to change and seek a more meaningful life.It all started with an intention and the right books,teachers and lessons quickly came my way.

2)Ego is tamed

Often, the only way to awaken to our authenticity is when it’s enforced onto us, and where the ego is finally shattered into submission and the chattering mind subsides allowing our hearts to take a more active role in guiding us to our authentic path.

When we fall hopelessly in love, the mind’s hold on us eases, and our heart starts feeling and creating a new path for us. People in love are often in an inspired mood, get a spring in their step, or see the intensity of colours they never saw before.

We start recognising our values, formulating our principles, and it’s often the time when we allow ourselves to dream those big dreams. Our hearts are purring, and we get a glimpse of our true selves.

Other times, it could take a traumatic event that subdues the ego.I went through a few horrible years where my business was failing, and my nephew had a near-fatal accident.These events led me to drop my egoic armour and see that what used to work for me, doesn’t anymore.It was the pain that I suffered that finally forced me to start questioning my life.

3)Get inspired by heroes

There are many heroes, famous or not; that inspire us to live an authentic life.Buddha’s enlightenment and his clear, logical dogma, making us directly responsible for our lives or Hemingway’s larger than life existence where he coupled great writing with wonderful real-life experiences are the ones that inspire me most.

However, our biggest heroes are those who live amongst us, in our families and communities, where we see them first hand doing what they love effortlessly. We see them in their element, enjoying what they do and we feel it viscerally and our hearts scream with joy.

I was inspired by my grandfather’s final years. At the age of 83, he would get up very early, pray and then set off in collecting monies and food from those people who could afford it, to give to those who didn’t—the poor and the homeless. He was relentless, and I saw his eyes light up when he set off, and his energy never wavered, often coming back very late at night.

4) Know Thyself

Authenticity requires self-knowledge and self-awareness. We must accept our strengths and weaknesses and know that they connect with our values and desires. And most importantly we need to act deliberately in ways that are consistent with those qualities.

A journey of self-discovery is also one of self-enquiry, so the more information we gather on ourselves, the better.

Over the past seven years, I did all kinds of personality, strengths and behaviour tests that helped me in understanding myself. I asked my family and friends to identify my strengths, weaknesses and what I represented to them.I went back to my childhood to investigate what I was like.I experimented on what piqued my interest to see if it was worthwhile pursuing.

I’ve found that I need a lot of solitary time; I’ve found writing to be the best way to share parts of me in this world and recognising that what my soul needs more than anything is inner peace and presence.

To be authentic is to be in a place that feels right, where everything you think, say and do are the same.It’s like we’re a river flowing effortlessly downstream, manoeuvring easily around any obstacles that get in our way.

Authenticity means being willing to sacrifice any relationship, situation or circumstance that violates your truth.It doesn’t mean you don’t have bad days, but at least, you are fully alive to handle them.

Authenticity is not something that when acquired means you need not do anymore but rather a continuous process.

5 Ways We Can Live Better If We Could Live Till We Are 500 Years Old

5 Ways We Can Live Better If We Could Live Till We Are 500 Years Old
Photo Credit: Vinoth Chandar

“Knowledge comes from learning.Wisdom comes from living.”-A.D.Williams

I had a dream where I was walking comfortably up Mount Everest in the Himalayas. I was wearing leather sandals, a dhoti cotton cloth wrapped around me, carrying a small wooden stick and looked like Gandhi in his late years.

It was a pleasant day; the sun was out, and no sign of snow, blizzards or dead mountaineers. The scenery, the surroundings, and the feeling were as if I was living in Shambala, the lost heavenly city of Tibetan Buddhism. However and more importantly, it was my birthday–My 500-year-old birthday, and all the cameras were there to witness the first ever recorded 500-year-old.

This dream was inspired by what I watched the night before, where a top Google executive, Bill Maris, said on Bloomberg that humans would live to be 500-years-old, and the company was investing millions of dollars in life sciences to ensure this vision became a reality. It had hired scientists as partners in order to identify start-ups that could cure cancer and make chemotherapy “seem primitive” within 20 years. Maris added that, “If you ask me today, is it possible to live to be 500? The answer is yes.”

My dream and the thought of living to be five hundred got me thinking. I mean why not? There have been stranger happenings in our history; the abominable snowman or Yeti, UFO sightings and many unexplained phenomena. As advancements in technology keep changing our lives and diseases are being cured, the life expectancy keeps rising. It has now doubled from forty to eighty in the last hundred years.

There have been many mythical murmurs and mysterious stories that people have lived very long-LP Suwang, a Buddhist, died in 1995 was rumoured to be 444 years old.

How would we live if we knew we were going to reach 500? How would that impact our thinking and attitude, in living if we knew we had so much time? If we remove our greatest fear, that of death, how would we live?

As we grow older, we mature and become wiser and have richer experiences to recall that guide us in making the right decisions, and as such we understand ourselves and how to live better. And knowing that we have all that time, would mean many changes in the way we lived our lives.

  1. Live in the moment

Imagine living our lives, not at the frenetic speed we do now but in slow motion where every moment is slowed down and lived fully. When we know we have so much time, the pressure on us is reduced and living in the moment will take on a completely new meaning.

After 150 years or so of living, we would understand that the past is gone and can only provide memories while the future holds no fears as we’ve got another 350 years to go.

We would want to stay in the present and want our lives to be richer and all-knowing. From every kind of bird that lives, their migratory details and how their navigation system works, to every tree’s name and history– The tall oak trees in Boston, Harry Potter’s weeping willow trees of Northern China and the Bodhi Tree of Bodh Gaya, in India.

We would want to enrich our experiences and so watch every sunset from every ocean view and watch every new moon with its supporting cast of stars from every sky view.

2) Be compassionate

By now, we’ve seen many people die and know the suffering that people go through. We’ve seen many on their deathbeds full of regrets, in pain and not having lived a fulfilled life.

The need to serve and help becomes not just something we aim for but part of our being, and we would want to offer a word, a touch and a hug every time we can. We can’t but be compassionate, as most people are much younger than us.

We would feel around others, the way we feel around 4-year-olds now. We would laugh at their transgressions; our heart would beam when they are smiling, and we would cry when they are in pain because we know of their helplessness. We recognise that what humans long for most, is love and compassion.

3) Goals transcend to Dharma

Goals that take months or even years (less than 10) become trivial and as such we look at long-term objectives that define our ways of beings. The goal now takes on more importance and becomes our dharma-the reason we came into being and life.

Excellence is achieved in 20-30 years spans and not anything shorter and as such we now have the time to become great in any field that piques our interest. Losing 20 pounds in weight is a good goal, but if we have hundreds of years to live then, it’s better we change our whole approach to eating, exercising and sleeping. After all, we are going to need our bodies for hundreds of years.

All our goals now transcend to meaning and purpose–how can we grow and how can we serve mankind become our only questions. Nothing else matters as material wants and achievements slowly lose their shine.

4) Environmentally Friendly

Similarly, as we cared for our bodies, we would want to care for the environment, and every time a rain forest gets destroyed because of greed, we lose a part of us forever. The loss of many species of the animal, plant and other kingdoms, is akin to us losing one of our family members.

We would want to take over where other environmentalists stopped and try to convince everyone of the need for us to take more care and understand that the environment is just a bigger part of what we are all connected to. What happens in the skyline of Guangzhou will affect all of us whether we live in, the clay mud huts of the African sub-Sahara or an exclusive penthouse apartment in New York.

5) Detachment and letting go

With so many years under our belt, we’ve lost so many loved ones, friends, and people that we’ve known and so detachment becomes essential rather than a spiritual practice. We’ve learnt the hard way that attachment is suffering, and detachment means freedom. This doesn’t make us less compassionate but rather we see the bigger picture of life, death, and the afterlife.

We now realise that attachment is linked to the ego, and we understand why our earlier years were marked by anxiety and despair as we craved visible results, instead of focusing on the actual actions or the practice that leads to our inner joy.

The action of writing, rather than getting the book on the bestseller list becomes our objective, and we now appreciate that results don’t matter so much as it’s all about the candle that is lit in our hearts every time we practice what we love.

Our fear of death is one of the biggest reasons why we fail to live with freedom.

If we live, knowing that we can live till 500, then we can banish those deep-seated fears we carry with us from one generation to another, and maybe finally we can live the “Good life” our spiritual masters keep preaching to us.