We know that we must tend toward what is right, blessed, sweet and noble in life.
We hunger and thirst for what makes our hearts purr.
We do not wish to fill our souls with bitterness.
We look on love as a goal and not as a means in itself to achieve something else.
We regard submission as elevation and reverence as a form of reward.
We see longing as a gift and a bounty in itself.
We don’t pray so that God spares us torment. We know it’s part of our lives, as we can’t do without that which infuses the soul with a sacred kiss. And we can’t do without that which brings us closer to our greater selves and reveals to us the power, mystery and wonder we have within us.
We see life and happiness in its purest manifestations. In the eyes of a baby smiling, we find all the hope and aspiration of humanity. And in a simple flower we see the glory and beauty of spring.
We don’t use what is near to reach what lies far ahead, and we don’t demand from God: “give us what we want or gives us nothing.”
We realize that what is right, blessed and permanent in life does not follow our wishes, but moves according to its own will. It does not stop in one place; it marches on with all its beauty like a procession encapsulating and bewildering everyone in its path.
We are ready to be part of life and to be used as one of its many translucent elements. What motive has a Robin when singing but to sing? What motive has the river got but to flow? What motive has a Royal Oak tree but to stand tall and majestic?
We know we are part of a myriad of souls who each have their own purpose and also a collective one in serving each other. We know that a lonely soul has no purpose at all.
We know that God has instilled a part of him in us, and all we need to do is to remove all the obstacles that stand in the way of us reaching that sacrosanct part.
A few days after writing an article on the dangers of the smartphone and how we delude ourselves into thinking we can do two tasks at same time. I caught a reflection of myself texting instead of enjoying what was our last family dinner in a sumptuous restaurant.
I was ashamed and angry with myself, feeling hypocritical for preaching on the dangers of the smartphone and yet here I was allowing the smartphone to master my mind and take control of my actions.
Has the Phone become an extension of my ego, standing in the way of my true self ? Was I addicted to it and the pleasures it gives me? Did I, now need to enroll into a rehab centre as a Phoneaholic?
As I reflected on this for a few days, I realised that I had become a victim of my bad habits. I needed to change the way I used my phone and Internet time, so I could re-wire the way my mind and actions were following the old programmed pattern.
I had to accept that I was addicted to the smartphone and was also addicted to the information overload that enters through the internet. I would jump from an email to a link, then to a website and a new idea within seconds.
“Whoever controls the media, controls the mind” ― Jim Morrison
I needed to slow things down and especially to limit the information that I’m allowing into my mind. I needed to make some changes and after much trying and testing. I’ve found several ways to reclaim my authority over the smartphone and the internet.
1. Airplane mode is heaven-sent.
Airplane mode is when your phone is technically in a coma and can’t receive or send any information. I now use it very frequently during the day as it’s much easier than putting your phone off and it comes on within seconds.
During those times I’m in airplane mode I know I have to focus and concentrate on whatever I’m doing. The airplane mode gives me the flexibility to keep my phone with me in case of an emergency but at the same time it’s not with me.
2. De-activate all notifications
I have deactivated all notifications from instant messaging, emails and all the various applications I have. I have also grouped all social media in one folder and called it “Social Fun-Time.”I now consciously go the application rather than they come to me.
3. My morning routine without Phone/Internet
I believe that our mornings set the tone of our days.And now the first thing I do when I wake up is to set my phone on airplane mode. I then get into my meditation practice, journal and read.I then look at my current goals and the tasks for the day, drink my coffee and I’m ready to kick-start my day. After Breakfast and only when in my car some 2-3 hours later(depending on my exercise routine) do I check on any messages, emails that I need to respond to urgently before setting off.
4. Mindfulness breaks.
I drink my espresso coffee without any distractions (TV,phone and Internet)for about five minutes. And use it as a time where I just think of nothing and just focus on the skyline, the birds flying above, etc. I usually have three such breaks a day.
I have also set an alarm for every few hours where I take one moment off from whatever I’m doing and just remind myself of my wholeness and that I’m a spiritual being.
Depending on which country I’m in, I will often go for short walks with my phone on airplane mode admiring the sight and sounds around me.
5. Single-Tasking
I set myself only three big tasks every day and I try to get the hardest one done first and do that early before I even look at my phone or check my emails. I switch my phone to airplane mode and focus on my task at hand for 45 minutes before taking a 15 minute break. I keep doing that till I finish my three tasks. I have found these short bursts of concentration have improved the quality of my work.
6. Setting deliberate time for the Internet, emails, etc
I will not look at my email or browse the internet until I’m done with my morning routine and then after I’ve finished one big task at least. This usually occurs at mid-morning, and I give myself thirty minutes where I respond to my emails and do some small tasks that require less time. I usually save all the interesting articles I’ve received to read later on in the day.
Then after lunch I will spend another thirty minutes to browse the internet for news, sports and to read the saved articles from my favorite bloggers, writers and webzines. I also check my emails again.I finally do a final check on my emails in the early evening and read up on anything interesting on the web for another thirty minutes.
7. Batching and splitting tasks
I’ve also found that batching my tasks together is very helpful. Here I group all similar tasks and do them in one focused period. For example, I will return all my calls and emails separate to a time where I browse the net looking for information. Also, I try to set all my meetings in the afternoon as that way I’ve done most of my work, and I’m in a different thinking mode.
8. Getting things done.
Dave Allen created the GTD method, and it works beautifully with the way I think. In his world renowned productivity system, you turn every vague thought into an action, by writing it down either on paper or using an application to do so. This act frees you from the guilt you have on not acting immediately on a thought. And you feel relaxed about focusing on your task at hand rather than surfing the internet to research your idea, or calling a friend that popped into your mind.
9. Digital free time
I’ve set a few half-days a week where I just leave my phone somewhere and just go outside and have fun, whether it’s for a walk, to the beach or playing a fun activity. Sometimes I spend whole mornings writing while I hide my phone far away. My next goal is to have a full 24-hour day without a phone or a computer.
Some may feel that when you total the amount I spend on the Phone and Internet, then it seems a lot but at least now I’m deliberate, and I’m in control. And I still get to enjoy the benefits of technology as I can’t say enough good things about how accessible information has helped me in my writing.
Others might feel my concerns over the phone are over the top, and there is no harm in texting while waiting in the line, or checking your Instagram account quickly before your next meeting.
However, my point is to slow down my life and try to reduce the noise around me. I want to get closer to my higher self and not feel disempowered by the burden of too much information coming into my mind while at the same time using technology to take me forward.
Multitasking is now a fundamental part of our life that we are comfortable texting while we’re walking across the street, catch up on email while stopping at traffic lights. And worst of all we check on our virtual friends using Facebook, Twitter or Snapchat while having a face-to-face lunch with our real friends.
Multitasking is when one of the tasks needs some critical thinking–Listening to an important presentation while reading emails or doing homework while watching Gossip Girls. This is entirely different from doing two things at the same time without needing any focus like walking and talking or driving and listening to music.
Technology and specifically the smartphone is probably the single biggest contributor to the rise of the multitasking phenomena in our lives today. There are no clear boundaries now as work, rest and play all battle for our wakeful minutes.
It’s usually the kids who set the pace in technology from The web to Facebook, Twitter, and then Instagram.The latest craze being Snapchat, where the kids chronicle and share their days within a few seconds under something called Snapchat story. However, they are sensationalize their stories to keep up with Kardashians and so missing out on living their authentic lives.
There are many advantages to the new technologies, not least that we can access information no matter where we are. We can connect to people and places no matter how remote we find ourselves.
The Smartphone is a great tool that can enhance our lives and enrich our minds. However, we need to be careful so as not be enslaved by them and enamored by their novelty.
The scientific research, led by top neuroscientists on the dangers of multitasking and the abuse of the smartphone is exhaustive, and it’s being studied in top universities around the world from Stanford to UCLA.
These are the seven dangers why multitasking and the smartphone, in particular, is ruining our lives and leading us to be disconnected, dissatisfied and ultimately leading us to an unfulfilled life:
1) Multitasking doesn’t work
Multitasking simply doesn’t work and what we think is multitasking is only task-switching. Our brains are limited when it comes to attention and productivity and are set to complete one task at a time before moving onto the next one. As we switch rapidly from one task to another, we lose focus on both, our productivity suffers, and we limit our chances of getting fully “in the zone” where all magic resides.
Multitasking doesn’t save time, as it probably takes longer to finish two tasks when you’re jumping back and forth than it would, to complete each one separately.
2) It leads to mistakes and mediocrity
We make many mistakes when switching tasks causing almost 40% loss in productivity if critical thinking is required. Any new information learned while multi-tasking could go to the wrong part of the brain as the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for organizing information, is easily distracted.
Also, the prefrontal cortex burns up the same fuel, glucose, that it needs for both switching tasks and staying on task. This then leads to the exhaustion of the required glucose levels in the brain that in turn leads to mistakes and compromised work. And it’s little wonder that we feel exhausted and disoriented after doing two tasks at the same time.
3)It causes stress and pain
This repeated switching from task to task leads to anxiety as we need to make lots of decisions. So when you stop your focus on a task to answer a call or email, you are then faced with making a decision, no matter how small that is.
This decision overload takes its toll on us as it raises our heart rate and moves us from the restful-relaxed mode to the fight-or-flight mode. The brain now produces more adrenaline, and our brains are overstimulated causing mental fog. We become impulsive and start making bad decisions. This in turn raises levels of the stress hormone cortisol in the brain, which in turn can lead to serious stress and depression. 4) It could lead to addiction
Whenever we stop our focus on the project on hand and look at how many likes we have on Instagram, for example, we feel this sense of accomplishment. This creates a dopamine-addiction feedback loop, so our brains are being rewarded for losing focus and getting distracted.
Also, our brains are wired so that we feel good when it senses something novel, and it’s the same brain that needs to focus on the task at hand. So again when we check our Instagram likes, we feel instantaneously good, and that constitutes a neural addiction.
5)It could lead to memory loss
When doing two things at the same time and both need our focus, then in reality we are acting a bit like a drunk would. We feel that we’re taking in what is being said but in reality we can’t remember much or apply the knowledge we learned.
6) We feel disconnected and miss out on life and Relationships
When doing two things at the same time, we are simply missing out on the beauty that life has to offer us. We don’t notice our surroundings or our environment. It’s like we are missing in action in our own lives-Our eyes are open and yet nothing is being registered in our brains.
How can we see the majestic oak trees in front of us, the seagulls flying in perfect unison above or the clouds forming artistically like paintings on canvas while taking a walk and texting.
We are losing our ability to interact and listen to each other as texting limits thoughtful discussion. We can’t truly hear each other’s stories as a few lines of text hardly compares to seeing and listening to the other person in front of us.
How can we engage and enjoy our relationships when a family dinner in a restaurant turns into an occasion where all members are on their phones and texting away.
7)It Dampens our creativity
When we focus on one activity, like writing, there is a power in that, it helps guide us to organize our day around that responsibility. We have decided and prioritized it as our anchor task. This feeling of knowing what to do with an end-result in mind helps us to focus all our efforts on a single task, and so our work is decidedly much better.
If you commit to nothing, you’ll be distracted by everything.
We are in a continuous energy-sapping race to respond to so many calls, emails, and the full range of social media updates now available. We have substituted being busy with doing meaningful work and are contributing less to our life and that of others.
When you look at remarkable people who have left their marks on humanity becoming masters of their craft, they all had one thing in common-Great Focus and Concentration.
E.g., Leonardo Da Vinci would spend months on a single project.And Steve Jobs, the inventor of the iPhone, which is probably the single biggest contributor to smartphone multitasking, was famous for his powers of focus and staying on one aspect of creativity for hours on end.
I want to be continually alive, and that requires me to eliminate all the noise that surrounds me, and all that impedes my connection to life.
I want to see the different seasons unveil right in front of my eyes, connect deeply with my loved ones and enjoy the small wonders that life tends to throw at us when we are mindfully present.
I don’t want to feel busy and productive but rather engaged in a meaningful life.
I want to be the master of my smartphone and don’t want it to become an obstacle to my growth and work.
After embarking on a self-discovery journey and asking the questions of what helps me to come alive. I’ve found that I can’t just focus on the Mind and the Spirit. The body is also part of me, and what I eat in particular affects my mood and energy.
We need to be aware of how our body works and how we can take care of it, as it houses our mind and spirit. We do it with our cars, sending them to regular maintenance and feeding them with the right oils and fuels so that they serve us well. Moreover, yet we neglect our bodies and what we eat as if it’s something outside of us and under the domain of some separate higher power.
Would we put petrol in our car when it works on diesel? Would we not put water when the car’s radiator warning light says so? However, we stuff ourselves with processed foods, some far worse than drinking a glass of petrol. We don’t drink enough water during the day even when our internal sign says we should.
Photo Credit: Brook Cagle
I’m not an expert on food; I don’t even know how you would address the so-called experts in the field of Nutrition. However, after so many years of listening to my body, reading countless books and going on many new diet fads. I feel I have some knowing how to eat and what goes into my mouth.
We are all so different, and yet we are made of the same stuff. The more we quiet the noise outside, and listen to those parts of our body that talk to us. Then the more we connect with our primal intuition and know what food is good for us and what isn’t.
“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.”-Hippocrates
Over the years, I’ve found that if I follow the simple guidelines below, I feel energised, sleep well every day and have no digestive concerns whatsoever.
1)Eat Slowly & Mindfully
We need to cultivate our relationship with food and give it the time and focus that it deserves. We should pay attention to the details of our foods with a simple commitment to appreciate, respect and enjoy the food we eat. We should engage our senses to appreciate food’s nourishing qualities, savoring the tanginess of a lemon or the spiciness of a jalapeno pepper. How can we enjoy food when we scoff our lunches in front of a computer within a few minutes? 2) Don’t Feel guilty when eating badly
Our bodies like our minds perform much better, digesting foods quicker when in a restive or relaxed mood rather than in stressful situations. Moreover, when we eat something that we feel we shouldn’t, we feel guilty which then releases stress hormones hampering digestion. Once in a while, a bowl of ice cream or that fully loaded pizza tempts us, so we need to set an intention to enjoy eating it and have no guilt about doing so.
3)Chew our foods well
I went on a nutrition course a while ago, and all I could remember through the bombardment of information was that the only time we had conscious control of our digestion was when we chewed on our foods. Digestion starts in the mouth with the action of our saliva and if we don’t chew well then there is so much more work for our digestive system to do.
4) Drink lots of water
Our bodies are about 70% water, and our brains are 90% water, so it makes us sense to drink lots of water. Our bodies function better when we are hydrated, and it aids in so many aspects of the body like in digestion, maintaining body temperature, energizing muscles and taking care of the kidneys. Water also flushes out toxins and some studies suggests, it even improves our mood.
Drinking eight glasses or two liters a day is usually enough but it all depends on the person, the climate we are in and how active we are. The best indicator is your urine color which needs to be as close to clear as possible.
5) Avoid Processed Foods
Processed food is any food that has been altered from its natural state in some way or another. They include many foods that are readily available in fast-food joints and regular supermarkets and vary from Microwave meals to breakfast cereals, fruit juices, soft drinks, savory snacks, chocolates, many cheeses, and bread. The list is endless.
6)Eat Colorful Vegetables
Only 10% of the world meet the recommended daily amount of vegetable intake needed, so many of us are missing on their benefits. All the nutrients found in fruits are also in vegetables, and yet we eat more fruits.
I was waiting to start a running race when I got talking to an Italian runner, and we discussed eating. He told me how he had lived with his Mama’s advise on vegetables, making it a habit to eat 3-5 different colors of vegetables per day.
7)Eat fruits on an empty stomach
Fruits can be beneficial as they are natural detoxifiers and help in the digestive process. However, always eat fruit on an empty stomach as our body uses different enzymes to digest fruit. Moreover, it needs to process the nutrients and the fiber separately. Also, we need to be careful as fruits have so much sugar in them, e.g., an Apple has 19 grams of sugar or almost 5 teaspoons of sugar.
8)Avoid All Sugars
We all know how bad sugar is, and of its negative effect on our bodies. Sugar is better known as “Sweet Poison”, and recent studies have shown it to be as addictive as cocaine.
I freely admit I’m a sugar addict, and I’m trying hard to overcome my addiction. And as I’m writing now about sugar, there is an ingrained desire in me that is sending a signal to my salivary glands. This in turn makes my brain react sending neurotransmitters around to prepare my body for some sugar, and I’m eyeing the chocolate bar in front of me.
Sugar tampers with our dopamine receptors, and we are always looking for the next stronger hit of sugar. I stopped sugar and fruits for two weeks and saw first hand how addictive it is. The minute I had a piece of cake, then I wanted something else that night and woke up next morning with a craving for sugar.
Sugar has two parts; the good part being Glucose, which our body needs and the nasty one known as Fructose that goes directly to the liver. This induces less insulin production, triggering hunger signals in the brain, and rather than utilize this sugar for energy, our body often turns fructose into liver fat. It is this Fructose that needs to be eliminated from our diets.
Sugar is everywhere in our foods and diets from alcohol to refined carbohydrates. We need to be vigilant with labels to check the carbohydrate content with the amount of sugar they contain. And we always need to remember that every 4.4 grams of sugar make one full teaspoon of sugar.
9) Know your Food
We have a responsibility to know what we put in our mouths. We need to understand what is good and not so good for us by trial and error. We need to check labels, know the sources of whom we buy our food from. We must have a general idea of the differences between Protein, Carbohydrates(fast and slow), Fibre, Fats, Fruits, and Vegetables.
We also need to plan what we are eating every day so if we over eat at lunch, then compensate by having a lighter dinner. Alternatively, if we exercised in the morning, then a heavier snack is needed.
However, it’s also important not to overwhelm ourselves with details and to keep everything simple. For me, I just like to know in the morning what I’m eating for the upcoming day.
10)Listen to your Body
There is a great story I read in an article where a Native American asks the Caucasian if he is hungry. The Caucasian looks at his watch and says “there’s an hour left for lunch time so let’s wait a bit.” The Native American man shakes his head and says: “Only you white men tell by the time on a clock whether you’re hungry or not.”
Eat when you are Hungry. Eat when your body sends you a message and not because you need to follow a set time of eating. Don’t eat because you need to comfort yourself. Don’t eat when you are bored.
For me, listening to my body has meant eating every three hours splitting my main meals with smaller snacks and never eating three hours before I sleep.
Wayne Dyer was speaking at an “I Can Do It” Conference when he brought out an orange and asked a bright twelve-year-old, what was inside the orange. The boy insisted it could only be orange juice and not apple or grapefruit juice. When pushed to explain why, the boy said: “Well, it’s an orange, and that’s what’s inside.”
Wayne Dyer nodded and said:
“Let’s assume that this orange isn’t an orange, but it’s you. And someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you, says something you don’t like, offends you. And out of you comes anger, hatred, bitterness, fear. Why? The answer, as our young friend has told us, is because that’s what’s inside.”
And he went on to say that:
“It’s one of the great lessons of life. What comes out when life squeezes you? When someone hurts or offends you? If anger, pain and fear come out of you, it’s because that’s what’s inside. It doesn’t matter who does the squeezing — your mother, your brother, your children, your boss, the government. If someone says something about you that you don’t like, what comes out of you is what’s inside. And what’s inside is up to you, it’s your choice.”
“When someone puts the pressure on you and out of you comes anything other than love, it’s because that’s what you’ve allowed to be inside. Once you take away all those negative things you don’t want in your life and replace them with love, you’ll find yourself living a highly functioning life.”
As I watched his talk, I reflected on myself and saw that not everything that’s inside me is as pure as I want it to be. When I overreact and insult a taxi driver, who ignores all kinds of driving rules and cuts me off. It’s the frustration bottled up in me that’s coming out and not what the taxi driver did. Also, when I belittle someone for making a mistake then it’s all the fears inside of me which I haven’t addressed that are coming out.
Most of our negative reactions are not about the people who irritate us but more about what is troubling us from the core.
Whenever we overreact, then it’s an opportunity for us to step back and ask ourselves what’s really inside of us? What have we allowed to get inside of us and what can we do to remove all the negative things that we don’t want in our life and replace them with love?
As Rumi said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
“The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.”
― George Washington Burnap,
What is happiness? What are the elements that give us everlasting happiness? How do they work?
Some feel happiness is very simple and there is no need to complicate it further by focusing too much on it, as doing so will ultimately make you feel unhappy. However, happiness is a difficult thing to pin down, and it’s too simplistic just to smile our way to happiness.
As we grow from one stage to another in our life, happiness will mean different things, so what worked for us when we were teenagers won’t necessarily work for us now. For example, the feeling of going to a party at sixteen won’t necessarily make us ecstatic at forty.
As I walk further towards my spiritual path, I know that lasting happiness will only come from within myself. The experiences I’ve had when younger have served their purpose and are now stored deep in my sub-conscious mind. And as such I need newer and far different experiences to invoke that feeling of well-being in me.
Martin Seligman has spent years studying happiness and answering the big questions that come with it. He has spent most of his life researching and producing theories that have established him as the leading authority on happiness. He is called the father of positive psychology and has written many best-selling books on the topic.
In his influential 2011 book, Flourish, Seligman developed the PERMA model. In it, he proposes five essential elements that must be present in our lives for us to experience lasting well-being or happiness.
Over the years, I have learned that we can’t live a fulfilled life without them and as such I have adopted them in my life and adapted them to my way of being.
These elements are:
1)Positive Emotion/Pleasure (P)
We all need pleasure in our lives, and this is when we maximize our positive emotions while minimizing the negative ones. Examples of these emotions include peace, gratitude, hope, and love.There are little acts we do on a daily basis that invoke these positive emotions and go a long way in lessening the negative ones.
E.g., Meditating early in the morning gives me the peace I crave. Tucking in our children and listening to them say goodnight makes us warmhearted.
2)Engagement (E)
When we are fully engaged in an activity that challenges us and yet excites us. We become fully focused on it, and so lose all sense of time and self. We experience a state of Flow-this is a state of deep, effortless involvement, a term coined by the distinguished Professor of Psychology Milly Csíkszentmihályi.
The activity is usually something that we enjoy, and that makes us come alive from within. Seligman recommends we find what we are good at and what we love the most and practice it consistently.
E.g., When I’m writing I lose all sense of time and space. I get this great feeling afterward that I can’t put into words. For others, it could be singing, painting, setting up a business, managing a project, or running in the outdoors.
3) Positive Relationships (R)
Seligman believes that within us, there is an innate need that is biologically and evolutionarily ingrained. We crave relationships; friendships and companionship are something that we look out for almost instinctively. And Positive relationships are especially powerful because they play a role in supporting the other four components of well-being.
4) Meaning (M)
Meaning is derived from serving a cause that is bigger than us. We are all inter-connected, in this universe and with each other. We all belong to something that is larger than us.
We are here to grow personally and help others grow with us. We can only do this by serving mankind. And sooner or later we will have to accept this inner call to serve.
E.g., I have seen my life turn around completely from being an ordinary, lifeless entrepreneur to one where I’m alive only because I’ve found some meaning to infuse into my life. This meaning came, the day I felt sharing my experiences through my writing, and speaking was serving others.
5)Accomplishment/Achievement (A)
Accomplishment involves the pursuit of success, winning, and achievement both as end-goals and as processes. The process is much more important though it’s easy to fall into the ego trap where the goals become the only thing that matters. However, we need goals and their achievements as guideposts to motivate and give us more discipline to complete the process.
E.g., Warren Buffet is one of the richest men in the world, and yet he maintains the same routine and process that he has done for so many years. He doesn’t need more money; he has never tried to get famous because of his achievements. He just loves the process of betting on the right numbers day in, day out.
For us to have lasting happiness and the kind that involves a deep sense of well-being rather than the hedonistic pleasures that are prevalent everywhere today, and then we need all the five elements to be present.
When we neglect them, it is like we do not satisfy our inner needs and so will surely live an unfulfilled life. We reach the so-called midlife crisis and start asking questions about our purpose and direction in life.
We need to ask the right questions as it’s those questions that will define how we live the rest of our lives. Seligman’s PERMA model is an ideal place to start the process of carving out the big questions that will matter in your life.
“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers”-Voltaire
However, even with all the five elements in place, I still think we need some element of failure and even despair to drive us closer to the desires of our soul. If we do understand the painful lessons of failure and apply them in our lives, then we are challenged much more to get out of our comfort zones. It is only in despair that we learn quickly and grow ten-fold. It is only in despair that we become excited to understand what gives us lasting happiness.
Lately, I have this urge to simplify my life and lessen the burden of decisions that bombard me every day. As soon as we open our eyes we need to start making decisions. Choose what to wear in the morning, what food to eat during the day, and which route to choose to work and on and on we face those decisions daily.
We then have to pay for all the different bills we have for a hundred different services that we hardly use. Then there are the ten credit cards we have and three bank accounts we own.
Sometimes, it gets a bit too much especially in this day and age where information hits us fast bringing with it a vast array of options. These choices quickly overwhelm us becoming burdens rather than luxuries. We start stressing over making decisions, and our shoulders tense up and anxiety follows soon after.
Every decision we make takes so much energy out of us, no matter how small that decision is. As days, months and years pass, all these small decisions add up and somehow drain our energy resources-lessening the power within us.
If we listen closely to our hearts, there is an inherent urge in us to simplify our lives. Fewer decisions mean less energy spent. And so instead of more, we should choose less. But this does not mean having less but paradoxically more because we would be able to focus, engage and enjoy those fewer things much more.
The more things we buy to improve our mood, and then the quicker we get bored with them and the deeper we fall into the abyss of nothingness.
And the more we get rid of anything that’s unnecessary, and then the better we feel. As all that extra becomes clutter, that is wasteful, and that stands in the way of our inner peace and happiness. And by removing the unnecessary, we make room for what is essential, and give ourselves more focus.
What is essential for most of us differs considerably and as such simplifying our lives is something that is personal and very much subjective.
I still don’t know all the parts of my life that needs simplifying or how to do so without affecting people who rely on me but I feel this whisper from my heart and this tug on my soul that I need to simplify to be to able enjoy the rest of my life.
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication-Leonardo Da Vinci
I presume the main areas to look at would be:
#Money
My dream is to have only one account with one debit card that shows me every month what comes in and what goes out. And all I want is that the in column be a bit more than the out so that I can live peacefully and comfortable enjoying the sights and sounds of our world
#Possessions
I suspect I’m tiring of having clothes that I don’t use, books that I’m not planning to read, and furniture that block my path. And that luxury car that stereotypes me rather than the one that serves me. The more I walk,city and weather permitting, the more I feel closer to my soul.
#Property
I see myself surrounded by more green than concrete and more outdoor space than indoor space. I would rather listen to the wind and the birds than the air conditioning and the television.
#What I do during the day
I see myself leading a simple life where I wake up fresh when the sun sets and start my day with movement(running/yoga) and end it with reading and sleeping early. And in between I would write/blog/speak, socialize with friends and family and drink some espresso.
I would also spend a lot of time alone and in a state of wonder about nature and regularly satisfy my curiosity about life.
I would gladly leave my corporate life behind for all of that simplicity.
#Technology
I would find a way to use technology; specifically instant messaging, social media and the internet rather that letting it run/ruin my life. What if I could set only an hour or two per day for it?
Is being busier for the sake of being busy something that serves us in our lives.
Isn’t small always more beautiful and within our grasp, always allowing us to focus more and have more meaning in our lives.
The true journey is the inward one and the more we remove the clutter and noise that surrounds us then the more we can truly allow our souls to lead the way to greatness.
The spiritual warrior chooses less(outside) and gains more(Inside).
I’m not a Buddhist Monk or a meditation expert, but I can tell you that Meditation has helped me in my life and is slowly but surely guiding me in my self-discovery journey.
Meditation has given me an inner peace that acts as a hidden support, which until now, I didn’t appreciate. That’s probably because meditation’s effectiveness is hard to measure as its results are not immediate and not very apparent like something you see with diets or exercise.
But then again, the mind is far more complex than the body.
Meditation has been the focus of many books, articles, and research studies. There have been many successful scientific experiments proving how gray matter in the area of self-awareness grew ten-fold and how it reduces stress by some percentage. These are all clear proof that it works.
However there are many skeptics out there and rightly so, as meditation is often highjacked by new age gurus glorifying it as something sacred and difficult to achieve unless you achieve some Godly purity. And usually this purity can only be reached through them and for a hefty fee.
My definition of meditation and how it works in my life is very simple and is more relatable to most people than that of many Gurus out there.
Meditation is all about quieting your inner voice (the one that doesn’t shut up) or the monkey mind for approximately 20-30 minutes a day. And it’s exercising the mind so that you reduce your stress levels and get into a more relaxed state, as opposed to the fight-or-flight response mode of our minds.
How to Meditate?
# Sit Comfortably
Sit comfortably either in a normal seating position with your bare feet on the ground or sit on a cushion with your legs crossed and hips higher than your knees. Then, center yourself with your back always straight and upright. And then take a minute just to relax and get comfortable.
# Breathe in and out
Start to focus and follow your breath through your nostrils/mouth as you breath in for a few seconds and then out for a few seconds more.
#Leave thoughts behind
Many thoughts will arise but gently bring your attention back to the breathing leaving any thoughts behind.
# Don’t judge yourself
Don’t judge yourself for having thoughts but continue going back to your breath. Some meditations would be better than others depending on your state of mind.
E.g., Most times, I can go for 30 seconds without a thought and on one occasion I spent a full five minutes without a single thought entering my mind.
This gap in thoughts without the mind wandering off is what is deemed to be that mysterious concept known as meditation.
Myths of Meditation
You don’t have to wear an orange robe and be this peaceful spiritual person before meditation is effective. Just remove the mystery surrounding it and make meditation a habit, one that can be cultivated so that you can reap its benefits.
Having thoughts during meditation doesn’t mean you have to start all over again. Suppressing thoughts is also not the way but rather going back to your breathing naturally when thoughts arise and then leaving the thoughts behind.
If you don’t have time to meditate and can’t manage 5-20 minutes of your time to sit alone and meditate, then maybe it’s not meditation you seek but rather a Life.
Meditation will not change your life and make you this enlightened Guru, who never has pain, sadness or tough times. It’s only a practice that helps alleviate stress and put you in a more relaxed state of mind.
You don’t need a special place to Meditate. It would be nice to meditate on a quiet beach watching the sunrise, but it’s not necessary. It can be anywhere and in any place, as long as your back is straight and you are relaxed.
Mediation doesn’t mean you become passive and get trodden upon in the big bad world out there. It means you rather become a person who has control over his emotions, and one who can respond rather than react to an adverse situation.
How Meditation has helped me?
1) Calmness
Meditation helps to expand your perception, allowing you to see the value in every experience and every relationship. I have seen myself reach new capacities of calmness I never thought I was capable of.
E.g., I handled a 4-hour traffic jam very well, when in the past I would have flipped and left the car in the middle of the road. (Okay, I’m starting from a very steep point of impatience)
2) Inner Peace
Before I started to meditate, the only happiness I experienced was directly connected to external factors like relationships, money and achievements. Now I’m still happy even though some of those external factors are failing. I have this inner peace within me that has given me the strength to handle challenging situations.
I have a less of a need to control people, places or situations. I have tapped into the infinite source of inner happiness-present moment awareness. I now feel the party is wherever I am at, and I have lost that feeling of missing out.
3) Sleep/Dream better
The quality of my sleep is better as I feel rested and can accomplish much more with fewer hours slept. Also as a bonus I remember my dreams much more vividly than I used to do before I committed to my meditation practice.
4) Focus better
I have noticed now that I can focus better as I am much more aware of the chattering mind in me and use my breathing to get rid of the noise and refocus very quickly.
I now, last longer in my writing sessions without any breaks. I used start getting fidgety after 20-30 minutes, but now I can focus for 45-60 minutes quite easily per sitting.
5) Catch myself quicker when I’m thinking the wrong way
As I deepen my meditation practice, I’m becoming more aware that I am a witness to my thoughts, and that I need not identify with them as readily as I used to. As soon as I’m reacting badly to a situation I catch myself and then remind myself that I’m not that thought.
I’m a long way from perfect, and I often identify with a bad thought and ruminate for a few minutes.However, I cool down quickly and then find myself laughing for being such a fool and believing my deceiving mind. 6) Faith and Trust in life
Regular meditation slowly negates the deprecating self-talk you get involved in continually. You start to act more from your heart as the fears spurred by your mind slowly fade away, and you clearly hear the pure messages coming from your heart.
You start making better decisions and gain confidence in your being. And you start trusting the universe much more making it more enjoyable to live life, and you start awakening to your purpose.
My commitment to meditation in the last two years has been the main reason I have recently awoken to my spiritual path.
And even though it’s only for 20 minutes a day, its effect on me has been transformational as my highs have become more meaningful lasting longer and my lows though not gone have become manageable.
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”― Howard Thurman
As I grow older and approach the afternoon of my life, I see things much more clearly. I’m finally getting it that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. I truly understand the meaning of spirituality and the need for it in our lives.
Spirituality to me is different from being religious as I see it as my direct relationship with a supreme being–the source of all life. I understand the inherent worth of all religions and accept many of their wonderful teachings, but I’m not tied down to any of their dogma.
Photo Credit: Itay Kabalo
I can connect to this source through my soul as long as I learn how to listen to my heart. In my mind, I have simplified the whole meaning of spirituality into one phrase-Awakening my aliveness.
This awakening or spirituality means I believe in something bigger than mankind. I believe in a supreme power with some worldly order. A power that has created us in such perfection, as proved by the fact that we consist of trillions of cells all going about their work in perfect unison.
It means that life is more than mere chance and coincidences. Everyone and everything is connected in this universe like the cells in our body. It means that we believe in living and more importantly, that there is a meaning to life and that our life matters in the grand scheme of things.
I see my life here on earth as a journey of self-discovery, so that I can remember my connection to the source while living as a physical being. The more I learn and experience in that manner where I am aware of my connection every time I am being human then the more I evolve as a being.
However, most of the time, I can’t remember my source all the time. Or I can’t awaken my aliveness all the time, regardless of what the best gurus and teachers say. Nobody can be 100% enlightened all the time.
I remember my source in some moments, like when I’m meditating or when I’m engaging in some activity that I love so much. Then I lose it again as some dis-empowering event appears suddenly without notice like someone cutting me up in traffic or a final warning letter to pay some bill.
Life is so fast now that many things distract us from our aliveness. We forget the big picture of what matters most and the connection we had with the source or the feeling of aliveness easily disappears.
I have developed several habits and practices that Ido consistently, which have proved invaluable for me to stay connected and close to my aliveness.
1. Waking up early
I love getting up early to allow the sound of silence and the view of the sun rising (when I’m privileged to witness it) to permeate my soul.
2. Meditation
Sitting in stillness or meditating for 20 minutes first thing in the morning cultivates peace and calmness in my life to help me in my path to authenticity.
3. Journaling
Again, I do this in the morning just after my meditation, and I write and write without stopping about my feelings, reflections, and current thoughts. I also mention three things that I’m grateful for that day.
4. Reading
As simple as it sounds, taking up reading again after I stopped for so long, during my hibernation, has led to my awakening. This has helped to take me out of my closed-box mentality and show me that there are many other worlds out there. It also led me to many of the things that I love today, such as writing, learning and keeping my mind open.
5. Exercise
I was always involved in sports when I was at school, but somehow forgot all about movement and exercise when I settled down in the “normal way of life.” Don’t ask me why. I have no real answer.
Running has become a passion and going to the gym and playing soccer raises the level of my endorphins and enhances my general mood, which trickles into the rest of my life in all kinds of ways.
6. Being Mindful
I have chosen specific things I do during the day when I immerse myself in doing that activity without allowing my thoughts to wander or be interrupted.
E.g. when I’m drinking my only coffee in the morning. This has become a sacred ritual, as I would make it, let it sit for a while, and then inhale the strong, rich aroma before taking the first sip. I continue drinking it for about few minutes without thinking of anything but the coffee.
7. Solitude
I can’t say enough about how this has helped me in my life. I have learned to enjoy myself alone, reflect and analyze what is right for me. I have learned to distinguish between the noises that torment me from the music that enliven me.
I have started appreciating nature and being out in the open more often than not. I now love to stare in awe at the beauty of life that is around me, whether it’s a 100-year old tree or a flock of seagulls flying just above me.
8. Don’t Follow Society and Its Rules
I look at what matters the most to me when deciding how to spend my day or what to do with my energy. I’ve started using Steven Covey’s principle of “begin with the end in mind” in many situations, using my authenticity and fulfillment as the goal I’m moving towards.
I’m finally realizing that most of us live like sheep, not because we are happy, but to avoid disrupting the status quo of our lives. We fight day and night to stay in our comfort zones. We crave the sense of belonging that society gives us.
9. Creativity
We are all unique individuals, and it’s through our creativity that we are able to express our true selves and allow our real voices to be heard. I grew up assuming that creativity meant being born a Hemingway and producing a book like The Old Man and the Sea or becoming Picasso and painting Les Demoiselles d’Avignon.
Since I started getting more creative, whether it’s expressing my passion through writing or doing small things–creating picture quotes on Instagram. I have found inner satisfaction that has flowed into all areas of my life. Again, the more I practice this muscle of creativity, the better I get and the more inner joy I feel within me.
10. Finding Your Tribe
Our Family and friends are our balance, the bedrock of our lives but sometimes we don’t think in the same wavelength. As such, I have found my own tribe online and they stimulate my thinking and expand my horizons.
I have also found a few people in my journey who have proved to be muses and coaches showing up for me time and time again to guide me to my rightful path.
Aliveness is something that is unique and different to each one of us, and it need not be a revolution that would change your life completely. It very often is a slight tweak where you add certain things that make you come alive.
However I do believe that we need self-growth and contribution to our fellow mankind before our lives can become meaningful as only then can we be awakened to our aliveness.
So have I awakened to my full aliveness? Am I who I must be? No, I’m not even halfway there.
I am sure in the coming years I will uncover many new aspects of my self. I will expand on the practices that I’m doing now.
However, I know I’m on the right path and am enjoying the journey to my authenticity.
Every day, I look forward even more to what makes me come alive, so that I can participate fully in this wonderful game called life.
Action is the language of the universe and I’ve written many times on the power of action, not least for getting us out of our comfort zone.
Sometimes we can begin an action without a plan and keep moving forward, adjusting towards the goal. The actual doing now becomes the teacher and the guide. There is no need to set ourselves up, get motivated and as Nike always tell us to go out and “Just Do it.”
We should look at nature and see how action and movement work for it. Any living organism in nature either moves forward or dies. There is no room for anything else.
Rain falls; mountainside gets muddy
Birth of a stream, maybe more
Its waters barely moving
Thick in texture, murky in nature
With every descent, the purer it gets
Obstacles emerge; paths blocked
Part can’t meander; slow down to a stand-still
Growing stagnant, looking repugnant.
Imprisoned forever, designated as a pond.
Part do meander; moving fast and around
Keep moving, becoming clearer.
The river approaches, freedom beckons.
Or maybe, even the Sea.
Ultimately, we are what we do and how we move. Let’s not get fooled by all those grand dreams that we have imagined. Goals work, and so does imagination but they only set a direction, a compass to follow but setting alone doesn’t do the task for us.
Let’s not fall into the perfectionist trap as we can never do anything perfectly, nobody can. We can’t always be on the sides thinking and planning, ruminating and getting ready as we miss the chance to learn, grow and respond to life.
The Master of action and decisiveness was Alexander the Great. He was once, presented with a challenge—to untie this huge Gordian knot. He took one look, and couldn’t find the ends of the knot, so he took his sword out and sliced it in half. Problem solved and onwards he moved.
Once we move and we’re in the game, we can learn. And getting in action does cure fear, as the longer we hesitate, our fears then become magnified.
In 2008, at a time when I was going through some challenges, and I was a bit lost and confused. I impetuously went to a tattooist and got one done on my shoulder—it was a beautiful angel with wings and the line at the top read: Born to be free.
I knew I wanted a tattoo, but I was afraid of the whole process and the stigma it could create. I started procrastinating, until I summoned enough nerve and took a cab straight to the tattooist without an appointment.
Within thirty minutes, I had agreed on a design and the words “Born to be Free” just came to me without any previous thoughts. The tattoo and the words were the birth of my self-discovery and my spiritual rebirth.
Here my action preceded my planning, guided by an inner voice or some subconscious thought. It’s like I’m half-aware of what I want, and then the action leads me to the full awakening.
Actions often leads us to our search and purpose and not the other way around.
