The 4 Freedoms That Have Set Me Free

 

“Better to die fighting for freedom then be a prisoner all the days of your life.” ― Bob Marley

I entered the Tattoo shop without knowing exactly why, and I left with a huge tattoo on my right shoulder. It took the tattooist only a few minutes to extricate out of me, the hidden message that lay in my unconscious mind.

And after three hours of heavy metal music bombarding my being, and the tattooist working his magic, I came out with an image of a winged angel holding a banner that said: “Born to be free.”

My soul was screaming for attention and recognition. It had managed to escape the prison that was my ego, long enough to conceive the idea of the tattoo.These four words marked on my body for life would inadvertently kick-start the spiritual journey my soul had so yearned for.

I wanted to be born again. I wanted to free myself from all the old beliefs that were holding me back. I wanted a better life, one where I was totally free.

As I pursued more freedom in my life, I found that the four freedoms below were the most important ones to start with:

A) Freedom of negative thoughts and limiting beliefs

“A person is limited only by the thoughts that he chooses.” ― James Allen, As a Man Thinketh

The life of a thought starts when a single thought keeps buzzing away in our minds like an annoying fly trying to get noticed. This thought grows into more thoughts, consuming our minds and devouring all our time and energy.Then this collection of thoughts that we are now living and breathing grow into a belief, that then becomes set in stone and so difficult to reverse.

We have almost 60,000 thoughts a day, and most of them should be dumped in a trashcan. We are not our thoughts or our thinking. We need to view thoughts as coming at us on a conveyor belt, where we pick and choose the thought that serves us best.

The people who are content and living full lives have put their focus on the positive thoughts that empower them, freeing themselves from the adverse effects of focusing on the many different negative thoughts that arise.

B) Freedom of to be ourselves rather than to keep up with Society

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”-E.E. Cummings

We need to ask ourselves what matters most to us in any given decision. In Steven Covey’s words, let’s always “begin with the end in mind” in any situation using fulfillment, and meaning as the goal rather than achievement.

Do we need to go to that social function? Do we need to buy the Armani suit? Why do we agree to fulfill certain traditions, even though we don’t care much for them?

If the situation adds value to our lives, then it’s right to go for it but if our decision is based on a fear of missing out, then we are making a wrong decision.

Many of us live like sheep, not because we are happy, but to avoid disrupting the status quo of our lives. We fight day and night to stay in our comfort zones. We crave the sense of belonging that society gives us.

Unfortunately when we succumb to this innate fear we have, we start living other people’s lives, and we follow the principles that don’t matter to us.

C) Freedom of attachment to results

“Let not the fruit of action be your motive to action. Your Business is with action alone, not with the fruit of action.”- The Bhagavad Gita

When we free ourselves from attachment to results, then we magically enjoy the process much more and paradoxically our results improve. When we free ourselves from the comparison that attachment to results inadvertently brings us then, we become more content and satisfied with our lives.

And when we set an intention that we are committed to a certain action rather than its results, we free ourselves from the doubts, fears, and anxiety that results instill in us.

Also, when set an intention not to attach to outcomes, we become open-minded and so much more ready to embrace new ideas.

D) Financial Freedom

To be financially free doesn’t necessarily mean to make millions, own many properties, become famous, or own a huge business employing thousands of people. It could be so, and there are many, who embody that image, but not all of them are as free as we think.

Are they free of the power that money has over them? Are they living free of the desires that money brings with it?

For me, to be financially free means, to be able to spend less than you earn and save something for a rainy day. It means that we don’t have that inner need to make more so that we can spend more.

It means reducing the desire and greed that consumerism has instilled in our DNA. It means not buying a new car when you have many; it means not owning a property that you are not using. It means not having a wardrobe that is full of clothes that you don’t wear.

Why do we continually put ourselves under pressure for fleeting moments of happiness that the Chanel bags or the Porsche car provides us with? Won’t we be happier and more content without the bag or car and the inevitable bill that is waiting to be paid?

I’m not promoting communism or socialism, and I’m all for buying beautiful things but only if we use them, and they become a constant source of contentment in our lives.

For example, I Built a pool in my house at a huge cost, but looking back after three years of use, I would say it’s been the best money I’ve spent for a while. It’s been the source of an immeasurable amount of contentment and joy to me.
Freeing our souls, allows us to follow our hearts in a world that is so dominated by our minds. It allows us to accept our life and appreciate the good things we already have in our life.

There is nothing more important in our lives to pursue than the freedoms we need to live a wholehearted life that is full of joy, meaning, and inner peace.

5 Ways To Overcome Overwhelm And Use It as Our Emotional Indicator

 

Photocredit: Chris Sardegna

“close some doors today. not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they lead you nowhere”― Paulo Coelho

As Published by Elephant Journal

I couldn’t take it anymore. My inner voice was screaming as my outer self was holding it back. It was like a dam waiting to burst. I went into my office, locked my door and took a few deep breaths. I tried to meditate but just couldn’t. I completely broke down and started crying.

I knew I had reached my limit; my cup was full, and there was nothing I could do about this sense of overwhelm I was feeling. None of my habit strategies could work, as I had used up every ounce of discipline that was in me.

It had been a hectic few months as I was juggling so many things in my life. From fighting grief after the loss of my mother, trying to save a foundation that I had set up a few years ago, and watching my company struggle in the worst macroeconomic conditions I’ve ever experienced.

And if that wasn’t enough, I took on several other challenges such as preparing to run a marathon, hosting a large speaking event and attempting to write a book.

I had fallen back into my old ways, where I would do one million things rather than face the pain. I would take on many projects so that I wouldn’t have time to reflect and think about my difficulties.

Fortunately, I’m much more aware than I used to be, and I now listen very carefully to my body. The first signs came when I pulled my calf muscle and couldn’t train anymore and had to sit out running for a month and as such missed the marathon date.

The final sign was my breakdown at the office. I left work and drove to a nearby spot that overlooked the sea and stared at the greenish blue waters for what seemed like an eternity.

We all go through times when we get overwhelmed. As in my case where I wanted to close off my heart for fear of getting hurt, so I put on a shield and took on task after task.

Other times, we are afraid of missing out and say yes to everything that comes our way, forgetting that a day consists of only 24 hours.

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”
― E.E. Cummings

Overwhelm leads to frustration, and that leads to stress, which in turn leads to health problems (headaches, muscle aches, high blood pressure, heart disease). It also starts us towards destructive behavior (overeating, drugs, etc.), which can cause full-blown depression.

These are 5 ways that you can overcome overwhelm and stop it manifesting into something much worse than mere frustration:

1. Awareness

The first step is to be aware that we are in “overwhelm” mode, and this is usually easier said done particularly when we are in the thick of things.

However everyone develops certain signs when they know they are heading into an overwhelming high alert mode. I feel them as soon as my breathing becomes wayward and when my frustrated thoughts won’t go away during my meditation practice.

2. Step back

After awareness, we need to take a step back, take a break and rejuvenate ourselves while we re-evaluate where we are in the grand scheme of things. I usually take an afternoon off work and go to the beach (I’m lucky as it’s only 20 minutes away) or just listen to music/watch a movie for an afternoon.

3. Does what we’re doing seem right for our vision?

Now look at the projects, or tasks that we’ve taken on and ask why are we doing them. Do these move us towards our vision? Why should I spend time and energy on projects like writing a book, or running a marathon when it’s not part of my personal vision? We need to be careful not to do things for the sake of filling our bucket lists.

Ernest Hemingway said: “All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.” He meant that there was no need to add many flowery words to your sentence. And don’t be afraid of removing a sentence that you love if it doesn’t add real value to your final piece.

4.Think small and slow things down

Life is a marathon and not a race so whatever you have in your hand, think of it as a long-term project rather than something you have to finish within a week. This way of thinking has helped me so much as I’ve slowed things down where I now think of 5-7 years per goal and plan my goals as if I’ll live till I’m a hundred years old.

I’ve also set a maximum of doing three major tasks/activities a day, and I’ll start with task one till I finish it before I move on to the next one and so on. I’ve found this number to be my right balance.

5.Detachment of results

We often place a heavy burden on ourselves by setting high expectations on projects/goals we take on. I do believe that measurable goals are important to track our progress, but we must let go of the need for results. As we let go of that need and just focus on the process, then the results will work themselves out and surprise us.

I’ve started using time sessions per task instead of tracking results.
E.g., I will write for an hour every other day, rather than saying I’ll write three articles a week. I will exercise 45 minutes for four days a week, rather than stressing on how many miles I will run, or what muscles I’ll work today.

“By letting it go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try the world is beyond the winning.”
-Lao-Tzu

We need to treat this feeling of overwhelm as if it’s our emotional indicator that tells us to take a step back, slow down and ask ourselves again what matters most to us.
It’s a gift from the universe like an internal thermostat, and all we have to do is remove all the fear surrounding us and adhere to it.
And the best thing is that, no matter how bad yesterday was, every morning is a new beginning and an opportunity to live without overwhelm and stress.

The 5 Fundamentals of Lasting Happiness

The 5 Fundamentals of Lasting Happiness
Photo Credit: Morgan Sessions

“The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.”
― George Washington Burnap,

What is happiness? What are the elements that give us everlasting happiness? How do they work?

Some feel happiness is very simple and there is no need to complicate it further by focusing too much on it, as doing so will ultimately make you feel unhappy. However, happiness is a difficult thing to pin down, and it’s too simplistic just to smile our way to happiness.

As we grow from one stage to another in our life, happiness will mean different things, so what worked for us when we were teenagers won’t necessarily work for us now. For example, the feeling of going to a party at sixteen won’t necessarily make us ecstatic at forty.

As I walk further towards my spiritual path, I know that lasting happiness will only come from within myself. The experiences I’ve had when younger have served their purpose and are now stored deep in my sub-conscious mind. And as such I need newer and far different experiences to invoke that feeling of well-being in me.

Martin Seligman has spent years studying happiness and answering the big questions that come with it. He has spent most of his life researching and producing theories that have established him as the leading authority on happiness. He is called the father of positive psychology and has written many best-selling books on the topic.

In his influential 2011 book, Flourish, Seligman developed the PERMA model. In it, he proposes five essential elements that must be present in our lives for us to experience lasting well-being or happiness.

Over the years, I have learned that we can’t live a fulfilled life without them and as such I have adopted them in my life and adapted them to my way of being.

These elements are:

1)Positive Emotion/Pleasure (P)

We all need pleasure in our lives, and this is when we maximize our positive emotions while minimizing the negative ones. Examples of these emotions include peace, gratitude, hope, and love.There are little acts we do on a daily basis that invoke these positive emotions and go a long way in lessening the negative ones.

E.g., Meditating early in the morning gives me the peace I crave.  Tucking in our children and listening to them say goodnight makes us warmhearted.

2)Engagement (E)

When we are fully engaged in an activity that challenges us and yet excites us. We become fully focused on it, and so lose all sense of time and self. We experience a state of Flow-this is a state of deep, effortless involvement, a term coined by the distinguished Professor of Psychology Milly Csíkszentmihályi.

The activity is usually something that we enjoy, and that makes us come alive from within. Seligman recommends we find what we are good at and what we love the most and practice it consistently.

E.g., When I’m writing I lose all sense of time and space. I get this great feeling afterward that I can’t put into words. For others, it could be singing, painting, setting up a business, managing a project, or running in the outdoors.

3) Positive Relationships (R)

Seligman believes that within us, there is an innate need that is biologically and evolutionarily ingrained. We crave relationships; friendships and companionship are something that we look out for almost instinctively. And Positive relationships are especially powerful because they play a role in supporting the other four components of well-being.

4) Meaning (M)

Meaning is derived from serving a cause that is bigger than us. We are all inter-connected, in this universe and with each other. We all belong to something that is larger than us.

We are here to grow personally and help others grow with us. We can only do this by serving mankind. And sooner or later we will have to accept this inner call to serve.

E.g., I have seen my life turn around completely from being an ordinary, lifeless entrepreneur to one where I’m alive only because I’ve found some meaning to infuse into my life. This meaning came, the day I felt sharing my experiences through my writing, and speaking was serving others.

5)Accomplishment/Achievement (A)

Accomplishment involves the pursuit of success, winning, and achievement both as end-goals and as processes. The process is much more important though it’s easy to fall into the ego trap where the goals become the only thing that matters. However, we need goals and their achievements as guideposts to motivate and give us more discipline to complete the process.

E.g., Warren Buffet is one of the richest men in the world, and yet he maintains the same routine and process that he has done for so many years. He doesn’t need more money; he has never tried to get famous because of his achievements. He just loves the process of betting on the right numbers day in, day out.

 

For us to have lasting happiness and the kind that involves a deep sense of well-being rather than the hedonistic pleasures that are prevalent everywhere today, and then we need all the five elements to be present.

When we neglect them, it is like we do not satisfy our inner needs and so will surely live an unfulfilled life. We reach the so-called midlife crisis and start asking questions about our purpose and direction in life.

We need to ask the right questions as it’s those questions that will define how we live the rest of our lives. Seligman’s PERMA model is an ideal place to start the process of carving out the big questions that will matter in your life.

“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers”-Voltaire

However, even with all the five elements in place, I still think we need some element of failure and even despair to drive us closer to the desires of our soul. If we do understand the painful lessons of failure and apply them in our lives, then we are challenged much more to get out of our comfort zones. It is only in despair that we learn quickly and grow ten-fold. It is only in despair that we become excited to understand what gives us lasting happiness.

The Power of Simplifying Your Life

Lately, I have this urge to simplify my life and lessen the burden of decisions that bombard me every day. As soon as we open our eyes we need to start making decisions. Choose what to wear in the morning, what food to eat during the day, and which route to choose to work and on and on we face those decisions daily.

We then have to pay for all the different bills we have for a hundred different services that we hardly use. Then there are the ten credit cards we have and three bank accounts we own.

Sometimes, it gets a bit too much especially in this day and age where information hits us fast bringing with it a vast array of options. These choices quickly overwhelm us becoming burdens rather than luxuries. We start stressing over making decisions, and our shoulders tense up and anxiety follows soon after.

simplify

Every decision we make takes so much energy out of us, no matter how small that decision is. As days, months and years pass, all these small decisions add up and somehow drain our energy resources-lessening the power within us.

If we listen closely to our hearts, there is an inherent urge in us to simplify our lives. Fewer decisions mean less energy spent. And so instead of more, we should choose less. But this does not mean having less but paradoxically more because we would be able to focus, engage and enjoy those fewer things much more.

The more things we buy to improve our mood, and then the quicker we get bored with them and the deeper we fall into the abyss of nothingness.

And the more we get rid of anything that’s unnecessary, and then the better we feel. As all that extra becomes clutter, that is wasteful, and that stands in the way of our inner peace and happiness. And by removing the unnecessary, we make room for what is essential, and give ourselves more focus.

What is essential for most of us differs considerably and as such simplifying our lives is something that is personal and very much subjective.

I still don’t know all the parts of my life that needs simplifying or how to do so without affecting people who rely on me but I feel this whisper from my heart and this tug on my soul that I need to simplify to be to able enjoy the rest of my life.

         Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication-Leonardo Da Vinci

I presume the main areas to look at would be:

#Money
My dream is to have only one account with one debit card that shows me every month what comes in and what goes out. And all I want is that the in column be a bit more than the out so that I can live peacefully and comfortable enjoying the sights and sounds of our world

#Possessions
I suspect I’m tiring of having clothes that I don’t use, books that I’m not planning to read, and furniture that block my path. And that luxury car that stereotypes me rather than the one that serves me. The more I walk,city and weather permitting, the more I feel closer to my soul.

#Property
I see myself surrounded by more green than concrete and more outdoor space than indoor space. I would rather listen to the wind and the birds than the air conditioning and the television.

#What I do during the day
I see myself leading a simple life where I wake up fresh when the sun sets and start my day with movement(running/yoga) and end it with reading and sleeping early. And in between I would write/blog/speak, socialize with friends and family and drink some espresso.

I would also spend a lot of time alone and in a state of wonder about nature and regularly satisfy my curiosity about life.

I would gladly leave my corporate life behind for all of that simplicity.

#Technology
I would find a way to use technology; specifically instant messaging, social media and the internet rather that letting it run/ruin my life. What if I could set only an hour or two per day for it?

Is being busier for the sake of being busy something that serves us in our lives.

Isn’t small always more beautiful and within our grasp, always allowing us to focus more and have more meaning in our lives.

The true journey is the inward one and the more we remove the clutter and noise that surrounds us then the more we can truly allow our souls to lead the way to greatness.

The spiritual warrior chooses less(outside) and gains more(Inside).

6 ways that Meditation has transformed my life

6 ways that Meditation has transformed my life
Photo Credit: Moyan Brenn

I’m not a Buddhist Monk or a meditation expert, but I can tell you that Meditation has helped me in my life and is slowly but surely guiding me in my self-discovery journey.

Meditation has given me an inner peace that acts as a hidden support, which until now, I didn’t appreciate. That’s probably because meditation’s effectiveness is hard to measure as its results are not immediate and not very apparent like something you see with diets or exercise.

But then again, the mind is far more complex than the body.

Meditation has been the focus of many books, articles, and research studies. There have been many successful scientific experiments proving how gray matter in the area of self-awareness grew ten-fold and how it reduces stress by some percentage. These are all clear proof that it works.

However there are many skeptics out there and rightly so, as meditation is often highjacked by new age gurus glorifying it as something sacred and difficult to achieve unless you achieve some Godly purity. And usually this purity can only be reached through them and for a hefty fee.

My definition of meditation and how it works in my life is very simple and is more relatable to most people than that of many Gurus out there.

Meditation is all about quieting your inner voice (the one that doesn’t shut up) or the monkey mind for approximately 20-30 minutes a day. And it’s exercising the mind so that you reduce your stress levels and get into a more relaxed state, as opposed to the fight-or-flight response mode of our minds.

How to Meditate?

# Sit Comfortably
Sit comfortably either in a normal seating position with your bare feet on the ground or sit on a cushion with your legs crossed and hips higher than your knees. Then, center yourself with your back always straight and upright. And then take a minute just to relax and get comfortable.

# Breathe in and out
Start to focus and follow your breath through your nostrils/mouth as you breath in for a few seconds and then out for a few seconds more.

#Leave thoughts behind
Many thoughts will arise but gently bring your attention back to the breathing leaving any thoughts behind.

# Don’t judge yourself
Don’t judge yourself for having thoughts but continue going back to your breath. Some meditations would be better than others depending on your state of mind.
E.g., Most times, I can go for 30 seconds without a thought and on one occasion I spent a full five minutes without a single thought entering my mind.

This gap in thoughts without the mind wandering off is what is deemed to be that mysterious concept known as meditation.

Myths of Meditation

  • You don’t have to wear an orange robe and be this peaceful spiritual person before meditation is effective. Just remove the mystery surrounding it and make meditation a habit, one that can be cultivated so that you can reap its benefits.
  • Having thoughts during meditation doesn’t mean you have to start all over again. Suppressing thoughts is also not the way but rather going back to your breathing naturally when thoughts arise and then leaving the thoughts behind.
  •  If you don’t have time to meditate and can’t manage 5-20 minutes of your time to sit alone and meditate, then maybe it’s not meditation you seek but rather a Life.
  • Meditation will not change your life and make you this enlightened Guru, who never has pain, sadness or tough times. It’s only a practice that helps alleviate stress and put you in a more relaxed state of mind.
  •  You don’t need a special place to Meditate. It would be nice to meditate on a quiet beach watching the sunrise, but it’s not necessary. It can be anywhere and in any place, as long as your back is straight and you are relaxed.
  • Mediation doesn’t mean you become passive and get trodden upon in the big bad world out there. It means you rather become a person who has control over his emotions, and one who can respond rather than react to an adverse situation.

How Meditation has helped me?

1) Calmness

Meditation helps to expand your perception, allowing you to see the value in every experience and every relationship. I have seen myself reach new capacities of calmness I never thought I was capable of.
E.g., I handled a 4-hour traffic jam very well, when in the past I would have flipped and left the car in the middle of the road. (Okay, I’m starting from a very steep point of impatience)

2) Inner Peace

Before I started to meditate, the only happiness I experienced was directly connected to external factors like relationships, money and achievements. Now I’m still happy even though some of those external factors are failing. I have this inner peace within me that has given me the strength to handle challenging situations.

I have a less of a need to control people, places or situations. I have tapped into the infinite source of inner happiness-present moment awareness. I now feel the party is wherever I am at, and I have lost that feeling of missing out.

3) Sleep/Dream better

The quality of my sleep is better as I feel rested and can accomplish much more with fewer hours slept. Also as a bonus I remember my dreams much more vividly than I used to do before I committed to my meditation practice.

4) Focus better

I have noticed now that I can focus better as I am much more aware of the chattering mind in me and use my breathing to get rid of the noise and refocus very quickly.

I now, last longer in my writing sessions without any breaks. I used start getting fidgety after 20-30 minutes, but now I can focus for 45-60 minutes quite easily per sitting.

5) Catch myself quicker when I’m thinking the wrong way

As I deepen my meditation practice, I’m becoming more aware that I am a witness to my thoughts, and that I need not identify with them as readily as I used to. As soon as I’m reacting badly to a situation I catch myself and then remind myself that I’m not that thought.

I’m a long way from perfect, and I often identify with a bad thought and ruminate for a few minutes.However, I cool down quickly and then find myself laughing for being such a fool and believing my deceiving mind.
6) Faith and Trust in life

Regular meditation slowly negates the deprecating self-talk you get involved in continually. You start to act more from your heart as the fears spurred by your mind slowly fade away, and you clearly hear the pure messages coming from your heart.

You start making better decisions and gain confidence in your being. And you start trusting the universe much more making it more enjoyable to live life, and you start awakening to your purpose.

My commitment to meditation in the last two years has been the main reason I have recently awoken to my spiritual path.
And even though it’s only for 20 minutes a day, its effect on me has been transformational as my highs have become more meaningful lasting longer and my lows though not gone have become manageable.

The Power of Solitude

I’ve left the city with its politics and turmoil to visit my late mother’s burial site in the village. It’s only for the weekend, but I thought it would be chastening. It was for most of the time but only because I wasn’t letting go of my City-mentality which is one fraught with arrogance, ego, and materialism.

As I drove towards the village, my attitude was one of superiority-why would I want to make myself suffer without all the trappings of the city life? For example, it’s an especially hot day, and there is no air-conditioning at the house I’m staying at. The flies are everywhere and are as annoying as hell as they attack non-stop, and I got to appreciate why we use flies as metaphors for stickiness.

solitude

It’s now late in the evening, and the sun is setting. I’m sitting on a plastic chair on the balcony in spartan surroundings. In front of me, I can see a mountain and below me a valley. I can hear the birds sing, and I’m watching the trees stand tall and be still with utter reverence. I am in absolute solitude.

Finally, a slight breeze approaches with a chill that hits my face and neck and runs down my body. I get that gratifying feeling as I watch the skyline change colors from Orange to light blue. The sun and the moon briefly share the sky. The sun goes down leaving the moon, and the stars to light up the sky. I suddenly feel connected to the universe and feel so alive.

The distressed thoughts I brought along with me from the city have magically disappeared as I enjoy the peace around me. This inner peace is something that is difficult to describe. It’s like I’ve tapped into a universal source that instantly frees me as if I have hit a reset button to my biochemistry.

Thoughts are like clouds,
they come and go.
Thoughts are like rumors,
some true but most are not.
Sixty thousand thoughts a day,
so how can we be every one of them?
Some thoughts consume us
and govern our minds.
They turn to murmurs
that destroy our lives.
And yet, all we have to do is
sit still and watch them
drift away and further away.
How can we hear our truths
or Plug into our source
Until and Unless we quiet that Monkey-Mind?

 

All the anxiety I carried with me is gone. That nagging inner voice in my head has also gone. My shoulders so tense before, are now loose, and the throbbing headache I had has left me. I can hear sounds from very far, and I can see clearly in high definition up to the horizon of the sea.

I have become a spiritual being who knows that I’m not my worries or my ruminating thoughts-I am in solitude.

The more I find ways to get in solitude, the more I love myself. It’s a deepening love of myself, one that I now know exists and see as an essential part of my life.

We all live busy and noisy lives and manage to fret away hours on people, tv ,surfing the net, driving and yet we don’t manage to give ourselves 30 minutes of solitude a day.

I can’t say enough about how solitude has helped me in my life. I have learned to enjoy myself alone, reflect and analyze what is right for me. I have learned to distinguish between the noises that torment me from the music that enliven me.

I have started appreciating time alone out in nature and being out in the open more often than not. I now love to stare in awe at the beauty of life that is around me, whether it’s a 100-year old tree or a flock of seagulls flying just above me.solitude

 

Spending time alone doesn’t solve all your problems, but at least it puts you on the track to be aware of your being. Solitude gives you the calmness to be able to face your problems with a clear head.

10 Ways to Awaken your Aliveness

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”― Howard Thurman

Published by Rebelle Society

As I grow older and approach the afternoon of my life, I see things much more clearly. I’m finally getting it that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. I truly understand the meaning of spirituality and the need for it in our lives.

Spirituality to me is different from being religious as I see it as my direct relationship with a supreme being–the source of all life. I understand the inherent worth of all religions and accept many of their wonderful teachings, but I’m not tied down to any of their dogma.

Alive
Photo Credit: Itay Kabalo
I can connect to this source through my soul as long as I learn how to listen to my heart. In my mind, I have simplified the whole meaning of spirituality into one phrase-Awakening my aliveness.

This awakening or spirituality means I believe in something bigger than mankind. I believe in a supreme power with some worldly order. A power that has created us in such perfection, as proved by the fact that we consist of trillions of cells all going about their work in perfect unison.

It means that life is more than mere chance and coincidences. Everyone and everything is connected in this universe like the cells in our body. It means that we believe in living and more importantly, that there is a meaning to life and that our life matters in the grand scheme of things.

I see my life here on earth as a journey of self-discovery, so that I can remember my connection to the source while living as a physical being. The more I learn and experience in that manner where I am aware of my connection every time I am being human then the more I evolve as a being.

However, most of the time, I can’t remember my source all the time. Or I can’t awaken my aliveness all the time, regardless of what the best gurus and teachers say. Nobody can be 100% enlightened all the time.

I remember my source in some moments, like when I’m meditating or when I’m engaging in some activity that I love so much. Then I lose it again as some dis-empowering event appears suddenly without notice like someone cutting me up in traffic or a final warning letter to pay some bill.

Life is so fast now that many things distract us from our aliveness. We forget the big picture of what matters most and the connection we had with the source or the feeling of aliveness easily disappears.

I have developed several habits and practices that Ido consistently, which have proved invaluable for me to stay connected and close to my aliveness.

1. Waking up early

I love getting up early to allow the sound of silence and the view of the sun rising (when I’m privileged to witness it) to permeate my soul.

2. Meditation

Sitting in stillness or meditating for 20 minutes first thing in the morning cultivates peace and calmness in my life to help me in my path to authenticity.

3. Journaling

Again, I do this in the morning just after my meditation, and I write and write without stopping about my feelings, reflections, and current thoughts. I also mention three things that I’m grateful for that day.

4. Reading

As simple as it sounds, taking up reading again after I stopped for so long, during my hibernation, has led to my awakening. This has helped to take me out of my closed-box mentality and show me that there are many other worlds out there. It also led me to many of the things that I love today, such as writing, learning and keeping my mind open.

5. Exercise

I was always involved in sports when I was at school, but somehow forgot all about movement and exercise when I settled down in the “normal way of life.” Don’t ask me why. I have no real answer.
Running has become a passion and going to the gym and playing soccer raises the level of my endorphins and enhances my general mood, which trickles into the rest of my life in all kinds of ways.

6. Being Mindful

I have chosen specific things I do during the day when I immerse myself in doing that activity without allowing my thoughts to wander or be interrupted.

E.g. when I’m drinking my only coffee in the morning. This has become a sacred ritual, as I would make it, let it sit for a while, and then inhale the strong, rich aroma before taking the first sip. I continue drinking it for about few minutes without thinking of anything but the coffee.

7. Solitude

I can’t say enough about how this has helped me in my life. I have learned to enjoy myself alone, reflect and analyze what is right for me. I have learned to distinguish between the noises that torment me from the music that enliven me.

I have started appreciating nature and being out in the open more often than not. I now love to stare in awe at the beauty of life that is around me, whether it’s a 100-year old tree or a flock of seagulls flying just above me.

8. Don’t Follow Society and Its Rules

I look at what matters the most to me when deciding how to spend my day or what to do with my energy. I’ve started using Steven Covey’s principle of “begin with the end in mind” in many situations, using my authenticity and fulfillment as the goal I’m moving towards.

I’m finally realizing that most of us live like sheep, not because we are happy, but to avoid disrupting the status quo of our lives. We fight day and night to stay in our comfort zones. We crave the sense of belonging that society gives us.

9. Creativity

We are all unique individuals, and it’s through our creativity that we are able to express our true selves and allow our real voices to be heard. I grew up assuming that creativity meant being born a Hemingway and producing a book like The Old Man and the Sea or becoming Picasso and painting Les Demoiselles d’Avignon.

Since I started getting more creative, whether it’s expressing my passion through writing or doing small things–creating picture quotes on Instagram. I have found inner satisfaction that has flowed into all areas of my life. Again, the more I practice this muscle of creativity, the better I get and the more inner joy I feel within me.

10. Finding Your Tribe

Our Family and friends are our balance, the bedrock of our lives but sometimes we don’t think in the same wavelength. As such, I have found my own tribe online and they stimulate my thinking and expand my horizons.

I have also found a few people in my journey who have proved to be muses and coaches showing up for me time and time again to guide me to my rightful path.

Aliveness is something that is unique and different to each one of us, and it need not be a revolution that would change your life completely. It very often is a slight tweak where you add certain things that make you come alive.

However I do believe that we need self-growth and contribution to our fellow mankind before our lives can become meaningful as only then can we be awakened to our aliveness.

So have I awakened to my full aliveness?
Am I who I must be?
No, I’m not even halfway there.

I am sure in the coming years I will uncover many new aspects of my self. I will expand on the practices that I’m doing now.

However, I know I’m on the right path and am enjoying the journey to my authenticity.

Every day, I look forward even more to what makes me come alive, so that I can participate fully in this wonderful game called life.

Am I Onto My Bone ?

moissa

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times. -Bruce Lee

Published in Rebelle Society:

After reading up on this New Age spirituality concept, I felt this absolute overwhelm within me.

Have I been wasting my time the last six months? I thought.

Can I get a physical pat on the back from some higher entity that would somehow direct me to the path of enlightenment?

I started my life-awakening journey almost 8 years ago and I have consumed books, ideas and teachers as if I had only a few days left to live. I really loved some of them, ditched others and bitched about one or two.

However many teachers have left their mark on me:

  • Buddha’s teachings, on the four noble truths and the eight-fold path to enlightenment. I think no other religious teacher hands power to us personally to reach inner peace.
  • Hemingway for being larger than life and showing us that life is all about real life action. If you want to write about the Spanish Civil War, and then you must go there to witness it.
  • Herman Hesse’s Siddhartha knew that essential truths couldn’t be taught; they must be learned through life experiences. His search for enlightenment echoes mine and the lesson here is that we need to balance the learning with experiencing. The river proved ultimately to be Siddhartha best teacher.

The Ideas that I loved include:

  • The Subconscious Mind; the receptor of all our feelings, habits and conditioning over the years controls our conscious mind almost exclusively. So we can’t change anything with ourselves till we address the emotional subconscious mind, which has been worked on since birth.
  • The Law of Attraction, which states you attract the essence of whatever you are focusing your energy on– whether wanted or unwanted. We create what we really want in our lives.
  • We are all interconnected in a divine matrix known as a space of potentiality. This is an intelligent field of energy, which is the source of all creation. We are all somehow connected to it, but only if we experience our true nature.

I feel I’m applying many of the above ideas in my life, yet I also sometimes feel very much lost. I feel like I need a big calling or platform to allow me to practice all of the lessons I’ve learned, otherwise I will feel aimless and lose heart.

Thoreau said: “Do what you love. Know your own bone; gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw it still.”

I need a task that is big enough for a lifetime. I need something that can get me “onto my bone.”

I need that “one thing” that can fit Deepak Chopra’s Law of Dharma measure.

This feeling of being lost and needing a way to practice these new ideas was reinforced when I met Elaine, a Reiki teacher. She had that inner glow and was insanely calm.

That’s what I need, I thought, when we first met. That’s it, nothing more and nothing less. I need whatever she’s on.

I found out that she had devoted her life to learning and teaching only Reiki. She didn’t give up and try Theta healing, which many “new age” healers have started to get into as the new thing.

She uses only Reiki to ask all her questions and to get all her answers. She uses it to grow, raise her awareness and serve people around her.

I recall a scene in the movie, The Last Samurai, starring Tom Cruise. He spends some time in a quiet, peaceful village hiding where everyone is happily and dutifully going about their tasks. The Samurais living in the village are bound by a strict code of honour and discipline, and devote their time to improving their skills. They do it mindfully, peacefully and so happily. You could almost feel their content and inner peace radiating from the screen.

How I wish sometimes that I were living in that era, and in that particular village.

It isn’t only with so-called “spiritual” people that I’ve witnessed such devotion to a calling. I have seen this inner glow in many people around me.

I have seen it with a baker, who would open his bakery at 4am and work till noon greeting every customer with a smile and saying beautiful loving words to everyone who entered his shop.

The image of the housewife who simply gets sucked into a life of comfortable pleasures and who offers little to the household was turned on its head when I met Delores. She showed me in her own way that home making was her calling. She did it with great joy and was the rock upon which her whole family and friends leaned on.

I’ve envied those with a simple life, simple needs, and those who seem to get excited about anything and everything.

I’m learning that we are all very unique and have different strengths; niches and ways that make us grow. What makes me tick is very much different than what makes 99% of people around me tick.

I do understand that the courses I’ve completed, the books I’ve read, and the lessons I’ve learnt will not automatically reveal my Dharma.

However I feel I’m missing something and it’s like I’m in the middle of the ocean and I can’t see anything behind me and there is no sign of land ahead.

I feel I’m interested in everything but committed to nothing.

What is that one particular thing that can answer all my questions?

Unless, off course, that is the whole point. That the “one thing,” my calling, my Dharma, is to be interested in everything and committed to nothing.”

That is, perhaps the fact that I’m so non-committal allows me the freedom and intuition to delve into a trial-and-error, spiritual bucket list, addressing the big questions out there for me.

My questioning might be a kind of investigative reporting, and in that way, help others around me ask and find answers to their own questions.

When I think about it this way, I don’t feel like a poor lost soul who is hung up on new age spirituality, but rather someone in action who helps others like me. As Gandhi would say, I am being the change that I wish to see in the world.

When I began considering that this was my calling, I decided to put my “one thing” to Deepak Chopra’s 3 Component Law of Dharma test. Here’s what was revealed:

Q) We are here to discover our true self and to find out that we are essentially spiritual beings having a human experience.

A) Yes. I am always asking questions and getting answers that push me towards my higher self. I do truly believe we are spiritual beings having an earthly experience.

Q) What is my unique talent and how can I express it?

A) My talent is that I’m curious and courageous enough to ask the big questions. I’m open-minded to accept new learning’s, read, and never be satisfied with one idea. This search takes me into some kind of timeless awareness of who I am and where I am.

Q) How can I serve humanity?

A) There are many people out there who are as lost and confused as I am. As I stay committed to non-commitment, I remain a receptor to new ideas and teachings, and I’m able to express and communicate those ideas outwards to my tribe.

My Dharma is to awaken to my true self, live all the experiences that are possible to me and inspire others to the same.

The questioning I do puts me on the road that leads to the biggest question of all-Thoreau’s “am I onto my bone?”

At the end of the day my “one thing” has led me to no-thing and then finally to nothing. Isn’t that feeling of nothing the essence of what all the great spiritual masters tell us we must reach?

The Gifts Of Adversity

Adversity
Photo Credit: Pinterest

Featured on Rebelle Society

All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me… You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.

– Walt Disney

When adversity hits us, we start to ask questions. The harder it hits us, the deeper our questions become.

Sometimes, those questions end up being unexpected gifts that take us where we need to go next — where our souls demand we go. We tend to run away from these difficult questions. Our thinking is based on our fight or flight mode that is deep-rooted in our reptilian brain and questions that confront our way of life disturbs that part of our psyches.

Let’s not kid ourselves here — the shit has hit the fan. The business I own is struggling big time. For the first time in its twenty-year existence, it’s breaking new unwanted records: dropping in revenue, gross margins, and, ultimately, how much cash enters my pockets.

Strange questions popped into my mind as I sat down with my family at the end of the day for dinner, watching them chatting and laughing — happily immersed in a sense of joy and abundance that was evaporating for me.

Can we still afford these great places we travel to? Can we even afford the University Tuition coming up for my son?

After awhile, I began sleeping badly, with more new questions on my mind– questions I’d never needed to worry about before.

The deeper, more difficult ones-the ones that sting.

Why didn’t I save for a rainy day like that son of a bitch I mocked regularly? Why did I squander so much on things that didn’t serve me? Why did I keep this pretense of satisfaction through materialism for so long?

And the biggest question of all- why is this happening now? When I thought I had overcome the survival level of Maslow’s “hierarchy of needs,” and was on the path of self-actualization?

Is this a necessary detour?

I sat with those questions. I meditated on them. I ran with them. I reflected on them so much I resembled a robot for months.

Then one morning I had this great a-ha moment.

Adversity is a gift from the Universe.

It is a gift, but only when you see it as a hurdle to be overcome, rather than a block.

It is a gift if you see it as point where the universe is pushing you to change your road map.

We live our lives just like a rocket going to the moon. It is off course about 95% of the time – and it gets there only because of constant, tiny re-adjustments along the way.

The Gifts of Adversity are those things that seem like detours, but which turn out to be tiny re-adjustments that help guide us to our destination.

They start of as little hints, and then become stronger messages, and if you continue to ignore them, they finally hit you hard as adversities.

That small car accident was saying something. You ignored it.

Your amazing partner leaves you. You ignored it.

Then the shocking news that you have cancer, and finally you take notice — and yet, amazingly, you may still not do anything.

We are enslaved by our ego, which has paralyzed us with fears, self-pity and resentment.

We already know that our old ways of living are not serving our new ways of being.

We know that this fight with our ego is not a battle but an all out war where we have no chance without summoning our higher self.

In times like these, I have learned to summon my higher self by:

A) Processing Feelings

I understand that sometimes I need to feel pain. I know that I need to fully experience these difficult experiences.

I need to make tough decisions, look people in the eye, and compassionately say “I’m really sorry, but the business can’t afford you anymore.”

I need to tell my kids that we can’t afford the holiday trips, even if all their friends are going.

We need to go through the motions and be with our pain.

B) Be Vulnerable

I accept that I messed up, and I hold my imperfections with love and compassion.

I understand that my acts were wrong but know that does not mean I was bad.

I understand that no one is perfect, and that I did the best I could with what I knew.

I do not allow my self-esteem to fall, for in this universe, I am perfect.

I open up, cry to those who have earned the right to hear my stories and tell them about my shame, knowing that I can only heal when I bring the dark emotions out in the open.

We must understand that by being vulnerable not only heals us but allows new possibilities which we never knew existed.

 C) Remove certainty and expectations

Probably the biggest thief of happiness out there today is the weight of wanting things in a certain way.

Before these difficulties, I tried to impose certainty on everything I did, and with that sense of certainty came many expectations. These expectations paralyzed me, and did not allow me to be present and fully alive. I was stuck in the regrets of the past, and the fears of the future.

I had forgotten the excitement of uncertainty, like the uncertainty that comes with a first kiss, the thrill of a new business venture, or simply staying up all night doing absolutely nothing of worth.

Instead of focusing on certainty, today we must embrace the uncertainty.

D) Meaning

I realize now that i need to live consciously and be very aware in everything I am doing, from the way I treat my body, to the way I connect with people.

I need to have a meaning, a purpose and some big intentions on how and what I want to create with my life. So I consistently challenge myself, with more new questions:

What keeps me in the highest vibration all the time?

Is my business really what I want to do now?

Are the relationships I have serving my real truth?

What are my unique gifts? What am I here to do? How can I serve humanity?

Without adversity, it’s easy to avoid those big questions, even when our body and energy levels have been whispering them for months. The universe is telling us blatantly that we have had our fun, and now its time for the real work.

E) Be creative

The adversity of the past few months has also been an opportunity for me, to acknowledge that creativity has been missing from my life for a long time.

By silencing the ego and developing our connection with the right side of the brain, the creativity will flow — and creativity, along with self-expression, is one of our basic needs. Just as love and belonging are.

F) Have faith

Now that I have listened to my heart and can see new possibilities emerging for myself, I must have faith in them and the belief that the universe is on my side.

There will be naysayers, certainly. I know that I need to follow my new intentions till the end, and allow my higher self to guide me even when I can’t see clearly.

Our faith will be tested, and just when we think all is well and we start resting on our laurels, the Universe will test us again. But our faith must not waiver.

As I look back at this curveball of an adversity that was thrown at me, I feel excited, and worried, but this time I’m all in to play.