Thoughts Archives

“Ideas Don’t Wait: Grab Them Before They Find Another Mind”

“Ideas are driven by a single impulse: to be made manifest.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert

“I’m at work and listening to one of our suppliers. It’s an important meeting. He is highly critical of our performance this year and doesn’t accept that the country’s economic woes hurt purchasing power. Instead, he lays the blame on our structure and personnel. It’s my job to not only appease him but to hold my ground and lower his expectations for the rest of the year’s turnover. This new guy doesn’t seem to understand logic and only recites numbers. However, my mind continues to wander to tonight’s football match. I haven’t been as eager for the English Football season to start for a long time now, when for several hours a week, I go back to my 10-year-old self—nervous before games, biting my nails throughout the matches and bearing extreme mood swings depending on whether we win or not. We, by which I mean Manchester United, the wealthiest, most prominent, and most venerated team, and the team that I’ve supported since I was a 10-year-old.Winning is a feeling of elation that enhances my every word and action for the next 24 hours, while losing could mean breaking a television remote control, sulking for hours on end or being a complete asshole. ”

That was an excerpt from chapter one of my 2018 book idea, Football & Business, Bloody Hell.

I’ve never been as excited to write about anything as I was about intertwining the two passions that have dominated my life. The beloved football team I’ve supported since I was a kid and the Company that I’ve been running since 1994.

I wanted to weave my company’s woes with the turmoil at Manchester United, covering the 2018-19 season in a ‘memoiresque’ prose similar to Karl Ove Knausgaard’s style, where he describes his day in colourful detail, often meandering to the point.

The book would have 38 chapters covering every game Man United played in that Premier League season. It would start with the sacking of the then-celebrated manager of Man United, José Mourinho, and also coincidentally with the firing of both my sales and marketing managers, which all happened in the same week.

Over the next nine months, I’d chronicle the truth of what would unfold in a vulnerable and journalistic manner. I’d reveal my frustrations and deepest feelings about daily events at the company, which echoed that of the Man United hierarchy.

I got to the seventh game and stopped.

Life somehow took over, and I told myself that the company’s woes were too serious to waste valuable time.

Perhaps I was too afraid to reveal all my feelings and anxious about how my family and friends would perceive me.

The idea slowly fizzled out of my mind, and after a few weeks of guilt, I found a way to justify stopping. I told myself it just wasn’t the right time.

Are ideas limited by time?

Do ideas really move on or disappear when we don’t listen and work on them?

Could that same book be written again?

In Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert argues that ideas have agency. “Ideas have no material body, but they do have consciousness, and they most certainly have will,” she writes. When this idea “finally realizes that you’re oblivious to its message, it will move on to someone else,” but sometimes, “the idea, sensing your openness, will start to do its work on you.”

I’m sure many football journalists wrote better accounts of the 2017/18 Man United season. Probably, someone at my company could detail the events of that year better than I could.

However, with my many years both as a CEO and a Man Utd fanatic, I think I could’ve offered the world an exciting book that revealed true feelings, stories and perspectives not often heard.

Also, I could’ve showcased the similarities between running a football team and a business and the ensuing pressures of being at the head of both of them.

But I bottled it, and the idea died.

So when Ideas don’t manifest, where do they go?

Gilbert tells a story about an idea she had for a novel set in the Amazon that she neglected for so many years that it left her — and took up residence with her friend, the novelist Ann Patchett. Gilbert also suggests that an idea about Ozzy Osbourne and his zany family visited her once, but after she ignored it, it graced MTV instead.

Her explanation may be too New Agey for some. However, like Gilbert, I do believe that life is both mystical and magical.

Ideas do come and go. If we don’t grab it, work on it, and carve it up like Michelangelo would a block of marble, ideas could perhaps linger for a few years, a decade or two, but then disappear.

The good idea wants nothing more than to use us as a vessel. It wants to come out into the world. All we have to do is be strong, patient and tolerant of it—We must quiet the noise around us, listen and surrender to its voice.

And yet, I have not seen a version of Football & Business, Bloody Hell.

Could the idea still be lingering and waiting for me?

Khalil Gibran on Love: A Poetic Journey

I smashed the phone against the wall, and it shattered into pieces.

I dropped to my knees and prayed to be released from this thing called love.

It was our third big fight in one month.

I was in my last year of college and 18 months into a relationship. The earlier passion had long since worn off, quickly replaced by arguments and misunderstandings. Our different interests, values and visions of the future surfaced in every minute detail of the present.

We both knew we had reached the end, but were just too afraid to admit it. Finally, she left college, left the country, and went back to her home. We’ve never spoken since.

That experience marked me. It confused me. How could something so good turn out to be so ugly? I was way too young to comprehend the full intricacies of love.

How can we genuinely describe love? It’s not one feeling, but a thousand-and-one feelings that burrow into our being and infiltrate every cell of our body. Love changes the way we think, feel, and speak. Love makes us act stupid and godly—sometimes all within a few minutes. It can take us to great heights of ecstasy, but also bring us down into an abyss of agony.

So then, how can one word or a few sentences possibly express the full meaning of love?

Thankfully, we have the poets.

And if you ask me, poets don’t come better than Kahlil Gibran. Every time I read his words, I start to feel an inner tingling in my heart, and my soul begins chirping like the nightingale he so lyrically describes. I cling to his every word as if it were God speaking directly to me.

Gibran wrote in both Arabic and English, and his best work was produced in the era of the roaring twenties in New York City. He was influenced by the free thought and exuberance of that time, and he was regularly associated with W.B. Yeats, Carl Jung and Rodin. His seminal book, The Prophet, is amongst the best-selling books of all time—after The Bible and Shakespeare’s collections.

There is a simplicity and beauty to his writings that reach far and wide. He offers spiritual and philosophical musings on love, God, family, work, death and so many other threads that unite humanity.

And it is his incredible exploration in ‘The Prophet’ that, I believe, tells us all we need to know about love:

“When love beckons to you, follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams

as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life’s heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, “God is in my heart,” but rather, “I am in the heart of God.”

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.”

Gibran’s thoughts changed my perspective on love. I now see love not as something I can choose but rather as something that chooses me. Love, in taking us on a rollercoaster ride and unlocking the vaulted gates to our hearts, is actually purifying us—making us the best version of ourselves.

Love, when allowed, will “descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.”

Don’t be afraid of opening your heart and what ensues.

11 Quotes By Kahlil Gibran That Are Indelibly Stamped In My Heart.

There is one book I carry with me wherever I go: The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran.

Every time I read a few pages, I start to feel an inner tingling in my heart, and my soul starts chirping like the nightingale he so lyrically describes. It’s true that I cling to his words harder than the average person because we both come from Lebanon. However, his great fame and works both as a poet and an artist have had a profound effect on many people around the world.

Gibran wrote in both Arabic and English, and his best work was produced in the era of the Roaring Twenties in New York, USA. He was influenced by the free thought and exuberance of that time, and he was regularly associated with W.B. Yeats, Carl Jung and August Rodin. His seminal book The Prophet is amongst the best-selling books of all time after the Bible and Shakespeare’s collections.

Though critics initially ignored his books, they have influenced world leaders like J.F. Kennedy, The Beatles and many millions around the globe. There is both simplicity and beauty to his writings that reach far and wide. They offer spiritual and philosophical musings on God, love, family, work, death and many other threads that unite humanity.

Below are 11 quotes from Gibran that I read regularly and that are indelibly stamped in my heart:

1) “Your daily life is your temple and your religion.”

2)“You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.”

3)“Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

4)“Your children are not your children.
They are sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.”

5)“Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.”

6)“You give but little when you give of your possessions.It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”

7)“I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church. For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit.”

8)“No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge.The teacher who walks in the shadow of the temple, among his followers, gives not of his wisdom but rather of his faith and his lovingness.If he is indeed wise he does not bid you enter the house of his wisdom, but rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind.”

9)“When you love you should not think you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.”

10)“Say not, ‘I have found the truth,’ but rather, ‘I have found a truth.’ Say not, ‘ I have found the path of the soul.’ Say rather, ‘I have met the soul walking upon my path.’ For the soul walks upon all paths. The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed. The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals.”

11)“Work is love made visible. And if you can’t work with love, but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of the people who work with joy”

If you had to choose one, then which one would it be?

“Contemplating Life’s Purpose: The Annual Birthday Existential Crisis”

My palms were sweaty. My mind jumped around from one thought to another. I tried to read but could only get through a couple of pages. I was getting frustrated, and it was still only 6 a.m.

The early morning is when I’m at my serenest, surrounded by the sound of birds, my books and my journal. Yet, I couldn’t remove that feeling of butterflies in my stomach.

It was Tuesday, the 22nd of August, and I had just turned 55. (Nearly three weeks ago)

Instead of celebrating birthdays, it has become a custom for me to question myself, my achievements and my purpose. It’s not how one should honour birthdays, but my body does it without warning.

What then compounds my misery is the guilt I carry around. Why am I unhappy on this particular day, unlike D, who just threw a fantastic party over the weekend? (And was so happy during the party)

I felt a breeze through the open windows and saw the trees swaying. It was drizzling ever so lightly. I got out of the chair and was soon walking under the rain.

As always, my soul talks to me when I walk, helping me understand what’s happening within me. My birthday had heightened the significance of my struggles. I’m always searching for the big questions and rarely satisfied with the answers. Purpose is something that is always at the front of my thinking.

As the rain gained strength, my thoughts also quickened to match the pace of the droplets falling from the sky.

“Why isn’t it enough,” asked Kevin Garvey in episode nine of season one of The Leftovers.¹

Kevin was struggling with why he was unhappy despite living what looked like a perfect life from the outside. He had a wonderful family around him and was the respected police chief of his small town.

His father then tells him he’s not alone in thinking this way. “Every man rebels against that idea that this is fucking it.”

Then, as the rain turned into a downpour, I started to run back home, and my thoughts turned to another Kevin. This time, Kevin Kaiser from

The Rewilded Soul

and his post on Purpose.

There are two purposes: the ‘out there’ one, which approximately equates to the rat race, and the chase for better and more. (success, prestige and achievements.) The other more noble purpose he calls the ‘now and here’ is that we are our purpose. We are here to get to know ourselves more deeply.

That deeply resonated with me. I equated the idea with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs—a five-tier model of human needs.

From the bottom of the order upwards, the needs are physiological (food and clothing), safety (job security), love and belonging needs (friendship), esteem, and self-actualisation. Needs lower down in the hierarchy must be satisfied before individuals can attend to higher ideals.

We are our purpose. We are here to become more aware and grow in consciousness.

It’s been years since I attended my first ever ‘Personal Growth’ event. I went there searching for an elusive blueprint that would change the trajectory of my life—I went there to find my life’s purpose.

I can’t say I’ve found why I’m alive or actively live on purpose, but I am closer to knowing what I enjoy doing. I have also grown in self-awareness and better understand what I need to do to improve myself and the environment around me.

Therefore, my struggle with finding my purpose all these years is not a problem with me per se. Instead, the issue lies with how society has loaded the concept of purpose so heavily that it can be scary and have far too many contradictory ideas.

Adults start asking kids what they want to be when they grow up as soon as they enter school. Likewise, kids feel pressured to clarify what career they want to spend the rest of their lives in as soon as they graduate from college.

We want purpose to be this magical mission that God has whispered in our ears. It’s like we must all have destinies to be fulfilled. But that thought alone is so heavy that it paralyses us and makes us go in circles for years.

We all have an inner desire to improve ourselves and the World, which is the precursor to our never-ending search for purpose.

True, our ego is usually at play. It demands that we do something, become something, and save the World like a superhero. Perhaps if we stopped asking ourselves and others what’s our purpose and instead asked:

“What can I do that makes me useful and necessary to both myself and my community?”

When the weight of the word purpose is lifted, it becomes easier to have a conversation with ourselves to find out how best we can walk on the path of our goal.

Sometimes, personal growth is seen as a luxury, and the only thing that should matter is making money and putting food on the table. That can’t be further from the truth.

The more we grow in self-awareness throughout the World, the richer our whole World will be. When we lack direction and don’t feel useful and necessary, we don’t know what’s important to us and haven’t clarified the values that propel us into action.

People think purpose means that we must embark on fantastic quests like climbing Everest, making a Billion dollars, or helping eradicate hunger in a remote 3rd world village. The reality is not so.

We exist to know and be ourselves—our true selves. Not the one designed by parents, teachers and society.

Pursuing and accomplishing those big, hairy, audacious goals can take you to a deep uncovering of the self. But the fear is we lose ourselves in the chase and see them as the end, not the means.

The end goal must be that ‘we’ are the purpose. That we have delved deep enough into our psyches to appreciate that we are enough. That we are all somehow connected. And, in appreciating ourselves, those around us, and the World— we finally discover and become our purpose.

1
An American supernatural drama television series created by Damon Lindelof and Tom Perrotta that aired in 2014.

Embracing Discomfort: A TEDx Journey to Growth and Transformation

“Most people today rarely step outside their comfort zones. We are living progressively sheltered, sterile, temperature-controlled, overfed, underchallenged, safety-netted lives. And it’s limiting the degree to which we experience our “one wild and precious life.”—Michael Easter (The Comfort Crisis)

Faced with the bright lights and eyes of the crowd staring at me, I panicked. Everything went into a blur for a few seconds until I remembered to breathe again for a few more seconds.

Then, as I started to get into my rhythm, the screen showing my presentation slides went blank. Then, the timer screen to my right, which acted like a guide so I could pace my talk, also went blank.

It was 2015; I spoke at TEDx Accra and was way out of my comfort zone.

My heart still quivers today as I recall that memory.

I was used to speaking in front of people, but this was a whole new ball game. The title of the talk was “Rich, Successful, and Strong—Yet Empty.” It was personal, and I would bare my soul before everyone.

I would admit to family, friends, and strangers that I’d been following the wrong values (mine and theirs) for most of my adult life. I would explain my new self-awareness and what was behind the recent tears and laughter that were now apparent within me.

The stakes had never been higher for me. I was in the ‘Uncomfortable Zone,’ one that either makes you or breaks you.

Today, we live in unprecedented times. We have never been more comfortable, sanitised or domesticated. In most of the world, our worries are no longer about our survival: Food, shelter and safety. We are instead preoccupied with higher levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs: Love, belonging and self-esteem.

We do anything and everything to run away from facing discomfort—we binge on alcohol, drugs, video games or sex. We have become masters of deception, seeking distraction to numb ourselves from suffering and failure. (Even though that is the only way we grow.)

We don’t want to be seen as fools or losers—We are tough, ‘cool’ and happy; we keep telling the world through Instagram and TikTok. We crave hacks, instant gratification and the easy path for everything.

Worse, we don’t even want to listen or hear about other’s discomfort, so we have become compassionless. We use social media to connect and maintain superficial relationships instead of listening and sitting with each other’s pain.

What happened to face-to-face relationships? Or even facing ourselves? We fear what we may discover when we get uncomfortable and the painful steps we need to take when we become accountable.

However, when we ignore our pain and seek the easy path, we cut ourselves from our authenticity—our best selves of living with more purpose and meaning.

We collect repressed emotions that somehow spread poison into our every cell.

Life is not an edited video to be enjoyed. Instead, it’s a mix of emotions—joy and pain, success and struggle, and comfort and discomfort—that must be expressed and experienced.

It’s the discomfort and pain that helps us grow to live a richer and more meaningful life. The famous writer C.S. Lewis said, “Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

As the TedX day grew nearer, my sleep got more erratic. I would remind myself every morning that I had decided on it, was committed to it, and would give it my best. I practised my talk as if my life depended on it. I repeated it five or six times. I made my family listen to me practice, and then I went to work and forced my employees to hear me out as well. The more I practised, the less fear I held.

On the big day, many things went disastrously wrong. My talk was delayed for two hours because the technical team were disorganised. The stage lighting and the cameras had not been set up correctly. But I didn’t let any of that get to me.

Twenty minutes before the talk, I used what I’d learned at the UPW event to put myself in a positive state, reminding myself of the Robbins quote: “Where our focus goes, our energy flows.” I breathed in through my nose and out through my clenched mouth for ten minutes. I then listened to music and recited an affirmation that I’d explicitly prepared for the talk. Yes, it was cheesy, but it worked.

After my initial stage fright, I took another deep breath and told myself I would do this and that the worst had passed. All my preparations kicked in, and I spoke without needing the slides or the timer.

Today, with total clarity, getting out of my comfort zone on that day helped me in no uncertain ways to become not only a better speaker but a better human. In pushing myself to greater heights, I upped my game. I became more confident and willing to risk more for richer experiences.

We have all gone through pain and come out stronger for it. But perhaps you still need to name and recognise that event as the launchpad to living a more uncomfortable but rewarding life.

The facing of discomfort has become part of my life’s philosophy.

To live a more blissful life, we must all make it so.

How Understanding Quantum Physics Helps Me Appreciate the Power of Our Mind

I was six years old when I asked my older brother, “Who created us, and what are we here to do?”

When I was eleven, I asked him, “If God created us, then who created God?”

Now, I’m almost 50 years old, and I’m still wondering about those same questions. I’m still searching for the answers.

In reality, whether it’s devout religious followers, logical believers in the exact nature of science, or New Age believers who mix science and religion, no one knows the truth.

For me, however, the secret lies in understanding how the world works through Quantum Physics. In Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Dr Joe Dispenza explains this complex subject in layman terms. I’ve summarized as best I can:

Newtonian Law—Mind has no control over matter

Descartes proposed that while the study of matter or the atoms that make up our physical bodies and everything in the universe belongs to the realm of science, our mind and everything unseen falls under the domain of religion. Isaac Newton, the most famous physicist in history, then crystallized this thinking by proving that all atoms are made of solid stuff. The Newtonian universe was like a machine governed by a set of laws. In it, we could determine, calculate, and predict everything. Energy was an outside force, separate to matter, which could only change the physical state of matter when applied to it. Our minds had no control over events.

Quantum Physics— Energy and matter are related

Einstein then undermined the entire foundation of Newton’s work and ushered in the new era of quantum physics by declaring that time and space were relative, not absolute as scientists had believed before the introduction of his theory of relativity. Thus, energy and matter were related and interchangeable.

Other scientists like Planck, Bohr, and Heisenberg used newer technology to study the workings of the subatomic world. It was the birth of quantum physics—the study of matter and energy at nanoscopic levels.

They found that quanta (the smallest form of energy) form atoms, which form molecules, which form objects; everything seen is made up of these quanta particles. However, these quanta particles do not behave according to the principles of Newtonian physics, making them a series of probabilities.

These scientists then observed that light was the force holding all the quanta particles, atoms, and molecules together—that all forms of matter are made up of solidified light. This light behaves both like a wave, when bending around a corner, and like a particle, when travelling in a straight line.

At the subatomic level, atoms are not solid, but rather 99% energy or particles. Nothing is fixed or solid. Matter appears as a wave of probability in one moment, as a solid particle the next, and then disappears into nothing and reappears at another location. The universe was no longer fixed, but movable swirls of energy instead. Events were now controllable and changeable.

Observer Effect— Our thoughts do matter

Electrons exist simultaneously in an infinite array of possibilities and probabilities in an invisible field of energy. Only when an observer focuses attention on any one location of any one electron does that electron appear.

A particle can only manifest in reality, in space and time, when we observe it. At the subatomic level, energy responds to our mindful attention and becomes matter. We can influence an event insofar as our thoughts can influence the movement of energy.

The Quantum Field—we are all interconnected

The “quantum field” holds all probabilities, which we then collapse into reality through our thoughts (consciousness), feelings, and state of being. The quantum field consists of invisible potential energy that can organize itself from energy to subatomic particles to atoms to molecules, and on up the line to everything.

Everything–humans, stars, galaxies–is connected to this invisible energy in a place beyond space and time. This concept is known as quantum entanglement. According to this theory, when two particles are linked in some way, they will always remain so. The universe, our thoughts, and everything else is interconnected.

Law of Attraction— Our energetic being must match the potential

The law of attraction states that when we change our electromagnetic signature (the unique, identifiable energy we radiate) to match one that already exists in the quantum field, our body will be drawn to that occurrence. The quantum field responds not to what we want, or to our thoughts alone, but to who we are. Our thoughts send an electrical signal out into the field. The feelings we generate magnetically draw events back to us.

How we think and how we feel co-produce a state of being, which generates an electromagnetic signature, which in turn influences everything in our world. If our intentions and desires haven’t produced consistent results, we’ve probably been sending an incoherent, mixed message into the field. We’re thinking one way and feeling another way. And when the mind is in opposition to the body (or vice versa), the field won’t respond in any consistent way.

I spent the whole of 2016 listening to bestselling writer Tim Ferriss’ podcast and reading his blogs. I arrived at a summer writing course in Paris to find he was one of the students, as he was a friend to the writing tutor, Rolf Potts.

Synchronicity—signs from the universe

When small coincidences start occurring, such as a friend calling just when we are thinking of them intently, or starting a diet and exercise plan only to find ourselves sitting next to a personal trainer on the plane, these are called synchronicities. Carl Jung coined the term. Synchronicities are signs and directions thrown our way by the universe when we are vibrating at the same level and have faith that the universe will respond to our electrical charge or thought.

I enjoy listening to podcasts and am thinking of starting one. In the past few weeks, several incidents have occurred related to podcasting. First, my son’s friend is in the country on a month-long holiday and he’s an expert in podcasting and can help me set it up. Then, I receive an email from someone who wants to interview me on their podcast, which I do and enjoy very much.

A Reality Without Senses—Be present

The quantum field is a multidimensional reality that exists beyond our senses, beyond time, beyond space, and beyond our bodies. To be able to create and match the probabilities we must be in the present; we must actually shift our thoughts away from our physical environment.

I’ve found that the more time I spend thinking and being deliberate about solving a problem, the harder a solution is to find. I spent a few hours in a marketing meeting trying to brainstorm ideas on how to launch a new campaign, and we came up with nothing special. I went home early, ran for five kilometers, and started writing when suddenly I had a great idea on how to launch our new concept.

Change your thoughts, change your life

The new science of quantum physics paves the way for us to create meaningful change in our lives. When we change our thoughts, making them focused and coherent, and let our feelings and actions match them, then we can change our behavior and our life.’

We are connected to a universal intelligence. We are interconnected with everything. However, our past and patterns have such a strong hold on our present thinking that we lose faith in ourselves and this intelligence. We lose that connection.

When we change our thoughts based on our new perceptions, we change our actions. And thus, we change our experience itself—our reality.

Do We Have Free Will Or Is it an Illusion?

“Man can do what he wills but he cannot will what he wills.”—Arthur Schopenhauer

What was I going to have for breakfast? That was all I was thinking about during my shower after an intense gym session.

My options included boiled eggs, waakye (a Ghanaian dish which is basically rice cooked with beans), a slice of sourdough bread with za’atar (a prepared condiment made with ground dried thyme, oregano, mixed with toasted sesame seeds and olive oil), and a protein shake.

These were the only options that my mind offered me.

I didn’t think of what many Mexicans would have had for breakfast—chilaquiles, a Thai breakfast, minty spicy fish with sweet and spicy pork served with rice, or tofu with fish and rice soaked in soy sauce from Japan.

Even though there are thousands of choices, the only ones that came to my mind were the few I’d been brought up on.

Where is my free will then? Where are the unlimited choices that are supposed to flow out from my mind?

Sam Harris, PhD in neuroscience from UCLA and author of The End of Faith, a best-selling critique on religion says in his short book Free Will:

“Free will is an illusion. Our wills are simply not of our own making. Thoughts and intentions emerge from background causes of which we are unaware and over which we exert no conscious control.” We assume that we could have made other choices in the past, Harris continues, and we also believe that we consciously originate “our thoughts and actions in the present. . . . Both of these assumptions are false.”

Harris backs up his argument by citing a famous EEG experiment conducted by Benjamin Libet and others in the early 80s, which showed that our brain makes decisions before we are conscious of them. He puts it, “activity in the brain’s motor cortex can be detected some 300 milliseconds before a person feels that he has decided to move.”

Harris begins Free Will by citing the case of two murderous psychopaths, Hayes and Komisarjevsky who entered into the Petit family home and committed hideous crimes—beating up the husband and tying him up, driving the wife to the bank to withdraw $15,000, then taking her back home where one of them raped and then strangled her to death. They then proceeded to burn the house, killing the two young daughters inside. Somehow, the husband luckily escaped.

Harris conceded that we would be justified in thinking that they should be put on Death Row, but we should also consider their history. Hayes was remorseful afterwards, and Komisarjevsky was repeatedly raped as a kid. He argues controversially, that if our lives had followed the same pattern as theirs, we would’ve acted in the same way. They were unlucky. Their fate was determined when they had such bad childhoods.

Harris is an atheist and a hard determinist and as such his world is one of a non-believer in anything supernatural, souls or a God, he thinks that all causes are ultimately physical. He argues that since all our choices have prior causes, they are not free; they are determined.

Another view is presented by other philosophers known as compatibilists that include Harris’s friend, Daniel C. Dennet. They believe that “a person is free as long as he is free from any outer or inner compulsions.”

This viewpoint is championed by the Stoics, Thomas Aquinas and Enlightenment philosophers like David Hume and Thomas Hobbes. Compatibilists argue that as long as we have the freedom to act according to our own motivation without coercion or restraint, then we have free will.

What about the issue of Moral Responsibility without free will?

Sam Harris believes that we are better off morally without the whole notion of free will. He says, “We should accept that even the worst criminals—murderous psychopaths, for example—are in a sense unlucky. They didn’t pick their genes. They didn’t pick their parents. They didn’t create their brains, yet their brains are the source of their intentions and actions.”

In a real sense, their crimes are not their fault. Realising this, we can dispassionately examine how to manage offenders to rehabilitate them, protect society, and reduce future offending.

However according to two psychologists; Kathleen Vohs and Jonathan Schooler, we become morally irresponsible if we believe that free will is an illusion. In 2002, they ran an experiment to see what would happen if people lost their belief in their capacity to choose. The results were conclusive, as when people stopped believing they had free will, they felt they were not to blame for their actions. They consequently acted less responsibly and gave in to their lower instincts.

Another experiment ran by Roy Baumeister extended the findings to prove that students who didn’t believe in free will were less likely to offer their help to a fellow student. They were also less likely to give money to a homeless person. Further studies indicated that not believing in free will led to stress, unhappiness, less creativity and less gratitude.

The feeling I get when I’m powerless to choose makes life somewhat fatalistic and hopeless. It’s like I’m living a Groundhog Day where what I do every day is recurring in a tedious and mundane way.

I find myself agreeing with the psychologists’ findings and the Compatibilists’ point of view. Schopenhauer’s quote at the top encapsulates my belief—We can do what we will, but we are not always in control of the thoughts or choices that are presented to our mind.

The choices my mind offered me came directly from my conditioning; what my parents fed me at home. The thyme bread came from Lebanon, my heritage. From Ghana, the country I was brought up in—the waakye. From the media that I consume—the protein shake.

I had a choice to make from not a thousand different breakfast options but rather from the five that are always on my mind. That day, I chose the protein shake because I’d wanted to get to work earlier than usual and the shake was the fastest way to get some right nutrients into my body.

For us to have more ‘Free Will’ then we need to widen our choices. To do so means we need to broaden our experiences. If during my formative years, I had travelled extensively and sampled much of the local cuisine, then I would have had different choices come into my mind.

Maybe, we don’t have the free will that many think we do, but our life—determined or not—presents us with many choices. The trick is to make the right ones at the right time. Or if we make the wrong ones, then to quickly acknowledge so, correct and reset our path.

What do you think?

moissawrites

Why We Must Feel Insignificant Before We Become Significant

significant-insignificant — Photo Credit: Greg Rakozy/Unsplash

“We are inconsequential cosmic dust, bumping and milling about on a tiny blue speck. We imagine our own importance. We invent our purpose–we are nothing.” — Mark Manson

A few years ago, I was under pressure at work, and I was impatient for results. I berated and belittled the efforts of an employee at the company I manage. I kept my tirade going for a few minutes until I realized that tears were flowing down her cheeks.

My ego was in survival mode, screaming at me that my company’s problems were the only significant thing right now. Nothing else mattered. Not the hurt I caused. Not the fact that I embarrassed her and myself in front of the rest of the team.

True, the ego is a survival mechanism. If we don’t see ourselves at the centre of the Universe, we won’t protect ourselves and would lose the incentive to stay alive.

However, the reality is that we would be better served to zoom out, taking a step back and realize that most of what we perceive as fears, dangers or problems pale into insignificance with perspective.

We overcome many of our fears. Most of the perceived dangers never materialise. Most problems get solved sooner or later.

Instead of fooling ourselves into believing our self-importance and wasting our energy putting others down, it would be better to act with humility, be kind, and supportive of each other.

The Pale Blue Dot

On February 14, 1990, the ‘Voyager 1’ probe was about 3.7 Billion miles from Earth and approximately 32 degrees above the ecliptic plane, when it captured this portrait of our world. The result was a hazy image of Earth surrounded by the enormity of space.

In seeing the image, the late astronomer Carl Sagan said:

“Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there–on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand. It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”

The ego is the total of all our fears, worries and negative thoughts and provides the incessant inner voice that doubts us and holds us back from whatever opportunity of bewilderment, intuition and awe we might have come our way.

As such it’s always looking for validation and wants to convince us that we are the most important organism in the world when the reality is that we are nothing, but ‘inconsequential cosmic dust.’

If I had taken a step back from my anger and fear, I would have realized that my tirade was unacceptable. The ’tough boss’ image that was a mask didn’t reflect my real inner being and the compassion that I have for my employees.

The mask was instead the false self-image that we represent, and we get trapped into negatively living our lives, which usually means thinking we are the sole reason for the creation of the Universe.

This false self-image is built early on in our lives by the many conditioned beliefs we carry with us. All those paradigms when not worked on crystallize into limiting and self-defeating beliefs and so create the mask that we wear throughout our lives.

For us to acknowledge our uniqueness, power, and authenticity, we must overcome and transcend the ego and go to a place where our truths reside.

We can do so by accepting our own insignificance and that in the grand scheme of things, we hardly matter.

Only then can we start appreciating the Principle of Entanglement that states, “everything—humans, stars, galaxies—is connected to an invisible energy in a place beyond space and time.”

When we give to others, we bring them closer to us, and we also feel connected to them. We feel a sense of universal community, rather than a short-lived feeling of self-importance.

Let’s be kinder with one another, and “cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”

Can We Change Who We Truly Are?

“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

“I don’t think we can change who we truly are, only what we do,” she said.

Of course, we can change, I wanted to scream. However, the rules of our gathering were that I had to hear her out till she finished or at least for three minutes, whichever came first.

Every last Thursday of the month, a group of us from differing backgrounds meet at the Mint Club, Accra, where we exchange philosophical perspectives based on our experiences, using the Socratic Method developed by founder Christopher Phillips. The meeting is known as the ‘Socrates Cafe’ and is modelled on the book that Phillips wrote in 1996. Today, there are thousands of such gatherings all over the world.

That week’s question was “Can People Change?”

As the moderator, it’s my job to make sure everyone gets a chance to contribute and that the conversations don’t get out of control so we miss the point of answering the chosen question. This is no mean feat.

Ideas flowed and opinions were exchanged. Tempers flared but at the end we all kind of agreed that people can change. That is, until she said those words that perhaps we don’t change who we truly are. I didn’t have a chance to respond as immediately someone else jumped on her point and others followed.

Yes, We Can Change

There are many stories in the world that show us how people have changed their lives inside out. Change is possible on every level—physical, mental and emotional. What we think, we become has become an open secret—a maxim espoused by many self-help teachers—that has heralded much change and impacted the world positively.

We are a collection of our habits and thus creating and cultivating habits is at the core of manifesting change.

Our minds have two parts; the conscious mind, which is the creative one and the one we have little access to, which is completely controlled by the other part–the sub-conscious mind. This sub-conscious mind is like a recording machine which takes in all the information from our conditioning, the environment, and our behaviour, and it then adds it all up to direct our final actions.

The only way we can affect any change in our lives is to address the sub-conscious mind, and the best way to do this is by repetition and by creating habits. Just think of how we brush our teeth every morning without even thinking, as this has been repeated so much that it has become part of the information that we embed in the mind.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”–Aristotle

Over the last 50 years, science and numerous psychological experiments have proved that there is a real power in creating and practicing habits. They confirm that a habit takes anything from 21 days to 60 days to be formed. And if we stick with them, then it will contribute to creating discipline and patience, two attributes that can lead to an accomplished life.

Habits help guide us to that best quality of all—Persistence. As we dive into our practice, we increase our mental stamina, and we tend to finish whatever we started. Finishing a book, or a designated run sends a signal to our brain that we finish everything we start as well as accomplish what we set out to do.

Habits are the highway to change. We can lose weight to become healthier. We can understand and so correct our behaviour by regular introspection. We can improve our relationships by making it a point to schedule tough conversations. We can even become more compassionate if we push ourselves to serve our community regularly. Our emotions much like our muscles need practice.

Anne Lamott, renowned author of Bird by Bird said; “we can change. People say we can’t, but we do when the stakes or the pain is high enough. And when we do, life can change…Nothing keeps us from changing more than our tendency — our willingness — to remain locked into versions of ourselves, into personae and identities barred in by heavy leaden rods of self-righteousness.”

Perhaps, We Don’t Change Who We Are

Driving back home I thought hard about what the woman at the Socrates Cafe said. I wondered if there could be some truth to us not changing who we truly are.

What if our essence remains the same? That essence that is so apparent when we are 7-year olds and say things like “I want to be a singer,” I want to go to the moon,” or “I want to rid the world of all plastic waste.”

What if all the change we do is only about removing the obstacles that have stopped us being who we truly are? We are all different and unique beings each having their own path. However, without reflection on our inner core, we get swept into the duplicity of life and live a life of imitation rather than one of authenticity.

Perhaps, we don’t change our essence, we just change ourselves—our capacity, to be able to accept and remember who we are and why we came here. A musician at heart who remembers that fact will finally leave his corporate job of 20 years and go back to his music.

At the age 40, when asked at a dinner what could’ve been an alternative career for me, I blurted writing without ever understanding why. At the age 45, I inexplicably started writing and plunged myself deep into the literary world.

True, I’ve changed many things in me, both externally and internally, but I like to think that in finding my writing voice, I’ve returned home to my essence.

What do you think of change? Can we change ourselves completely or is it an illusion that the self-help world is trying to thrust upon us?

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Let go of Perfection and the Overwhelm Disappears

I had just bought a turbo trainer and was having trouble fixing it.

A turbo trainer is a device that enables you to ride an outdoor bike, stationary, indoors. They clamp around the quick release skewer of a bike’s rear wheel suspending it in an A-frame.

Let go of Perfection and the Overwhelm Disappears — Photo Credit: Sigmasports.com

I followed the manual step by step, but faced a challenge as I couldn’t do Step 7. That meant, I couldn’t move forward and fix the bike. I did what I always do when trying to fix things unsuccessfully, I called my brother.

He came in, looked at it and within minutes had fixed it. He just didn’t follow the manual, he improvised and skipped Step 7 altogether. It turns out that there was no need for it, as it involved replacing the skewer with the trainer’s own, but all you needed to do was clamp the device onto the existing skewer.

As always, I had looked at fixing the turbo trainer from a perfectionist’s point of view. I had to follow every step of the manual.

A few days later, I got back my writing assignment—a memoir that I’ve been working on for over a year— from my writing coach. It was marked up in so many places with comments, links to writing articles and line editing corrections.

I was completely overwhelmed. I spent an hour trying to go through everything and then gave up. I wrote back to her to say, I needed to postpone my deadline and I even thought of abandoning the whole project.

Again, I wanted to do everything that the writing coach had told me to do. It had to be flawless and my next draft had to encompass every comment and correction she made. However, this time around, I’d caught myself at my weakness of wanting to do everything perfectly the first time. As usual I was invulnerable.

I went through my draft again and made some changes. I chose only the comments that made sense to me. Then I went through it again and applied her other corrections. Finally, a third revision and I included some of the line edits. Most importantly, I recognised that my final draft would not be as perfect as what her comments wanted it to be. Not yet, anyway.

Being vulnerable and letting go of perfection helped me remove all the overwhelm that prevented me from making progress in revising my draft. I traced my unconscious actions and realized that to let go of perfection, I needed to do 3 things:

Taking Action

Procrastination and overthinking very often gets us stuck, and we end up going in circles. Planning is good, but it won’t get you anywhere unless you take that first step. Action can kill perfectionism immediately as you can turn a bad draft into a good one, but you can’t turn no draft into a good one.

It’s important to make your first steps small so that you can get wins under your belt that will then propel you to complete the goal you wanted to achieve.

Self-Compassion

Rather than ignore our pain or start criticizing ourselves, we need to be understanding with ourselves when we fail, suffer or feel unworthy. We must remind ourselves that this suffering is something that happens to everyone and not just “me” alone.

Most successful people feel inadequate when they fail and yet they see it for what it is, a passing phase and an opportunity to correct their mistakes. They very often cut themselves some slack rather than criticize themselves.

Surrender and Letting go of the fruits of our actions

Letting go is often easier said done but when we truly start practicing this principle, then we find ourselves enjoying the ride and not just the destination. We often allow numbers, results and opinions of others to dictate the goals we set and how we are going to achieve them.

Perfection is something we must avoid if we are to live an engaging life. It paralyses us, and we find ourselves afraid to make any move. We get comfortable with our surroundings and use the excuse of “when it’s perfect I’ll put out my work” to suppress the greatness that we can offer the world.

This idea of perfection is a myth, and the simple truth is that we are meant to be whole and not perfect. This includes both the joy of successes and the pain of failures. And the only way we learn and grow is through both differing experiences.

All great people have one thing in common; they are consistent in their actions producing work after work. They produce their work despite the same insecurities that we have. They know that out of many attempts, one will turn out to be great.

They have tossed this idea of perfectionism into the garbage, where it rightly belongs.

let go Overwhelm perfection thoughts