Why We Need to Become More Professional in Pursuing Our Dreams
“You can measure your worth by your dedication to your path, not by your successes or failures.”
I want to write a book again. The last one I wrote was in the summer of 2017. Over 4 months, I spilt out everything in my head after consuming seven years of personal development material.
Back then, I had promised myself to write one book every year. It is now September 2021, and I’ve written no new books. Instead, I started and completed a memoir. Writing the memoir was so hard that after editing, it fragmented into three unpublished long essays. I also began a ctional book but it was quickly abandoned and hidden in my cloud drive folders.
In trying to write a better book, I enlisted a writing coach. My writing completely stalled, falling under the curse of ‘perfection’. Whatever I seemed to put out was now simply not good enough. From being scrutinised by my inner critical voice to the comments of the writing coach, my creative juices stopped flowing.
Don’t get me wrong, the writing coach is good. She elevated my writing to another level. However, at the same time, she also boosted the inner critic in me. I found it difficult to find a writer in me who could produce another book. I felt like an imposter, someone pretending to be a writer.
I started to compare myself not to my peers but to the greats, whether literary giants like Kurt Vonnegut, newbie contemporary writers like Sally Rooney or prolific blogger turned best-selling author Mark Manson. “What chance did I stand in the real world?” I kept asking myself.
This self-doubt in my writing soon trickled down to my blogging. Whereas I’d been consistently writing an article a week for several years from 2015-2018, I suddenly felt the need to quit this whole writing pursuit.
I’d forgotten what Dani Shapiro had enshrined in my heart in Still Writing: “The writing life requires courage, patience, persistence, empathy, openness, and the ability to deal with rejection. It requires the willingness to be alone with oneself. To be gentle with oneself. To look at the world without blinders on. To observe and withstand what one sees. To be disciplined, and at the same time, take risks. To be willing to fail—not just once, but again and again.”
True, I had to assume my company’s financial woes and the added responsibilities played a big part, but the writing was supposed to be the gateway to my other better self. Writing was closest to my heart and could ignite my magical powers in all the realms of my life. Until it wasn’t.
Survival and not self-actualisation took over my psyche. As a result, I spent the years between 2018-2020 writing sporadically. I quit twice and restarted again, bemusing many of my newsletter subscribers.
The failure to complete the two books haunted me. Also, my blogging audience was no longer as engaged as before. Then there were the ever changing algorithm rules on Facebook and Instagram, which meant that many of my followers didn’t know I was writing again. (Facebook has now made it almost impossible to reach your own friends and followers without paying for it). All these factors contributed to my ambivalence towards my writing.
The pandemic year of 2020 came and with it much reection. Slowly but surely, the urge to write came back. I started to blog again by the end of the year. However, I was still confused about my purpose all the more. Why was I writing? Who am I writing for? Would writing feature in my future self?
I was more convinced than ever that writing and creativity will always play a big part in nourishing my soul. I needed to write. I had to create daily. I couldn’t survive the mundanity of life without it. So I told myself to just start writing again, and all my questions of purpose and meaning would be answered.
This year, I started to write, blog and engaged in more creative practices. However, I wasn’t being consistent enough and wrote whenever I felt like it. I’m now experienced enough to know that I will never satisfy the creative urges that lie deep within me without a consistent writing practice.
I’ve taken the steps below to rekindle my creative life:
Create and follow a Writing Practice Manifesto that suits who I am and my working life. I hope to publish that post next week.
I’ve completely revamped my website, hoping it will reflect who I truly am when I’m in creative mode.
I plan to engage much more with my audience, answering questions and challenges they might be going through, as I have before. I will also offer workshops, webinars, and meetups.
I’m starting a podcast in October that will focus on creativity, authenticity, and contentment. I will release details of this soon.
In 2022, I will also create affordable online courses to guide those interested in shifting their mindsets and lifestyles to one that aligns more with their true nature.
All I ask of you is to react not only on what I wrote above but on your own life and inner desires. In that way, I hope I can get some feedback from you, my trusted readers. You will guide me to what I should do more of, less of, and even things I haven’t even thought of.
Become more professional in pursuing your dreams.