Why Limiting Our Choices Makes Us More Focused and Mindful
Published by Elephant Journal
“Deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do.”
I go on a book-buying spree and download six e-books on my Kindle. I’m conflicted with which one I’ll start first that I end up reading none; instead I start reading a book that’s been lying on my bedside table for ages.
I want to start a new exercise regimen and need to decide between a 12-week strength program, rejoining my cross-training club or take up running again. I pick the strength program and I’m feeling good about this, till I get a call from a friend who reminds me how fun and invigorating it is to be part of the cross-training team.
Now I’m feeling frustrated and confused–I want to do both the strength and cross training but I don’t have the time to do so. I’ve realized that having too many choices is one of the causes of my anxiety and why I get overwhelmed as the day reaches its conclusion.
Every time I make a decision I feel like I’m missing out on other options.
We burden our lives with too many unnecessary choices, putting ourselves under pressure and not saving the much-needed energy for the bigger things in our lives. From simple and mundane options of what to eat at breakfast to big decisions we need to make in our lives, each option requires attention from our over-active minds. The result being that by the time noon arrives, we are exhausted, and our energy levels have dissipated.
“The problem, simply put, is that we cannot choose everything simultaneously. So we live in danger of becoming paralysed by indecision, terrified that every choice might be the wrong choice.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert
We make a lot of decisions daily, probably between 100-200 a day. A light or a dark suit for today’s presentation? Eat that pancake that jumps out at us or not? Listen to Malcolm Gladwell’s new podcast or the New Yorker Podcast when driving? The list goes on and on.
However, our brain has a limited amount of energy that it can use for decision making. And as we make more and more decisions, we get mentally tired. We then start choosing the easier options and in turn often make bad decisions. This is called decision fatigue.
James Clear in his article How Willpower Works cites a research study published by the National Academy of Sciences, where psychologists examined the factors that impacted the reasoning behind judges approving parole to criminals.They found in over 1000 cases that judges made decisions not by factors such as the extremity of crimes committed or the behaviour of the criminals in prison, but rather on their own state of mind— whether they were tired or refreshed and most notably the time of the day the hearing was held.
In the mornings, a judge was likely to give a favourable ruling about 65% of the time, but as the morning wore on and the judge becomes drained from making decision after decision. It became easier to say no, and so the favourable rulings dropped to zero.
“One is weary of eating on porcelain and eats on silver; wearying of that, one eats on Gold.” —Søren Kierkegaard
Often, we invite alternatives in our life, not because we want the best option, but only that we’re bored with what we are doing. We are bored not due to lack of choices but rather because we are not content with ourselves. We feel that we are missing out on something. We compare what we are doing with what others are doing and presume it would give us more joy to do the things that they are doing.
I’m all for trying out new things and looking at different options, but for the right reasons. How many times have we bought the new bag or the new Nike trainers and discarded the old ones, which would have still served the same purpose?
I love writing, and I’ve got three platforms to do so—Word, Scrivener and Evernote. However, I find myself spending half of my energy on choosing how to write, rather than allowing myself just to write. I become anxious thinking I’ll be ineffective if I don’t use the right platform.
Deep down I know I’ve entertained these choices because I have my doubts about being a writer, and that perhaps one of those platforms can make me a better one. The reality is that the most important thing is what I write and not what software I use to write.
“The more a person limits himself, the more resourceful he becomes.”- Søren Kierkegaard
I’ve found the best way to simplify my life and make it more effective is by setting constraints. These self-imposed limitations can help us become much more focused and accordingly better at what we do.
It allows us to live with clarity and enjoy the things that we love and find meaningful, rather than wasting our time and energy on futile actions that don’t serve us.
This simplistic lifestyle also puts us in a space of peace rather than one of chaos – creating a clear positive in our lives and a structure that helps sharpen our minds. It frees us up to become more creative and proactive in our lives.
However, constraints must be supported by a regular practice.
When I started to blog, I was very inconsistent and overwhelmed with questions of where to write, which day to post and on what topics to write. I would write when I felt like it, often as much as three articles a week and then nothing for a month.
I then set myself a simple constraint that I would blog every Thursday on whatever piqued my interest that week, and I backed it up with a daily writing practice of an hour a day. I have hardly missed a Thursday, since I made that decision.
In Barry Schwartz’s 2004 classic, The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less, he believes that the more options we consider and encounter, the less fulfilling our ultimate outcome will be. It reminded me of what my late uncle once told me when I wanted to sell my car. He said ,“Always go with the first offer you get.” At the time, I laughed it off as bad advice especially in my world of “get as much as you can” and “win at all costs.” But now I see the true wisdom in that simple statement.
In the time for waiting and comparing offers, anxiety builds, and then there is the stress of negotiating the best deal, all of which often outweigh the simplicity of getting things done and moving on in life. The caveat being that the offer must at least meet 80% of what we had in mind.
Setting constraints doesn’t mean we are boring and unadventurous. It doesn’t mean we have limited opportunities but rather that we are focused enough to latch on the right opportunity that comes our way.
Opportunities and choices are plentiful, however what this world lacks is the committed people who take advantage of the many that come their way.