In Zen Buddhism, there is a concept known as “Shoshin,” which means “beginner’s mind.” To achieve this state of mind, we must let go of our preconceived ideas and remain open to the many possibilities and experiences available to us. It’s like emulating the mind of a child who is discovering something for the first time, like riding the bicycle.

For half my life, I’ve lived exactly according to society’s plan for me. My dad didn’t force me onto any path. He built his own life and was successful at it. Implicitly, however, and without quite meaning to, he laid a path for me as well.

Descartes proposed that while the study of matter or the atoms that make up our physical bodies and everything in the universe belongs to the realm of science, our mind and everything unseen falls under the domain of religion. Isaac Newton, the most famous physicist in history, then crystallized this thinking by proving that all atoms are made of solid stuff. The Newtonian universe was like a machine governed by a set of laws. In it, we could determine, calculate, and predict everything. Energy was an outside force, separate to matter, which could only change the physical state of matter when applied to it. Our minds had no control over events.

I arrive at my daughter’s school for a meeting. Before I go to the conference room, I have to cross the kid’s playground, and I watch them play. I look at their faces; there is unbounded joy, excitement, and laughter. They scream without knowing why. Their smiles and laughter reverberate across the whole playground and penetrate my heart. Then it hits me. I’ve been missing that sense of play.

The thought of having no hair at my age—when girls are all about hair, as it’s the late 80s—is scary. I find a dermatologist, and he confirms my worst fears. “It’s receding quickly,” he says casually. He recommends I try a new lotion called Minoxidil—which is not yet mainstream—and gives me a prescription.

Bruce Lee was born in San Francisco to a famous Cantonese opera star. He later relocated to Hong Kong, where the legendary Wing Chun Kung fu teacher, Ip Man, became his teacher and mentor. He went on to develop many other passions, which included dancing (Hong Kong Cha-Cha Champion 1958) and martial arts (Hong Kong23 Boxing Champion 1958).

At the other end of the happiness spectrum lie contentment, satisfaction and fulfilment. Here, our feelings not only last longer, but are also full of meaning. These levels affect our inner psyche and can transform us into better human beings. This genre of emotion is subtle yet all-pervading. It starts slowly, and grows as we continue along our path.

I’ve never been so afraid in my life. I think of William Golding’s Lord of the Flies, and the character Jack. I think of how rational human beings can turn into savages given the right environment.

I’m elated when I get published and deflated when I don’t. I feel connected to my purpose when I learn that my words helped the reader. I’m confounded when I’m ignored—and worse, when a reader (who has only read the headlines) offers the most damning of praise, “Nice work.”

In a BBC interview in the 1940s, Carl Jung famously stated, “I don’t believe in God. I know God.” By this, he meant he had seen a power greater than himself at work in his life. He had no need for blind faith. He experienced “God” on a daily basis and knew how to connect with that force.

I made my vow not only because I empathised with my father’s loneliness, but also because I wanted some of his wisdom to rub off on me. I was envious of the community and extended family around him that received his attention daily. He’s become the de facto community leader; he entertains the family, listens to their problems and helps maintain peace and order within the small commune.

In Jeff Olson’s book The Slight Edge, he explains how the Apollo rocket flying to the moon was off course 97 percent of the time. It was only on course three percent of the time. Continually re-adjusting itself, it reached the moon—safely—and returned to tell the tale. Likewise, we must continually re-invent our lives. We must nurture this reinvention as a way of life. This process of alignment isn’t easy; it demands we get out of our comfort-zone, hit the ground running and overcome many trials before we discover our path.

“Self-help is autobiography.” ~ James Altucher I love this guy. He looks like a nerd and always talks about his failures, yet he’s intelligent, and his failures have made him extra resilient. He recognises that vulnerability is a superpower when you know how to use it. Altucher is one of the most popular bloggers in the world, and has featured in all the top publications like Forbes, Entrepreneur and Financial Times. He’s ranked as the number four influencer on LinkedIn, hosts a top-rated podcast, and has written (and self-published) best-selling books. In a New York times article, Alex Williams says of Altucher:

Ninety-seven percent of all self-help advice is generic bullshit. (This number is not a result of scientific research, but rather my opinion based on the last hundred articles I read this month.) That includes many viral articles, New York Times best-selling books and my earlier blog posts. This content doesn’t compel the reader to make significant change. Or to put in another way, the reader reads it and gets inspired for a few hours or days—and then it slowly fades away to make way for newer information waiting to hit. The information available to us is incessant. This week it’s affirmations. Next week it’s how to surrender to life using Lao Tzu’s Tao Te Ching. (Incidentally, this is definitely part of the three percent that’s the real deal.)

I stuck to my daily practices rather well, and they became my pillars of well-being and daily living. My writing improved tremendously, as I had committed to 1,000 words per day, which meant I showed up, put out a lot of work and felt great doing so. I let myself down in my sugar binging. I would follow a low carb diet, then mess it up with too much sugar. I also varied my exercise regimen so much that I ended up injured for the final two months of the year.

I now look at goal-setting not as a mere one-, two- or three-year plan, but rather more like a 20-year life plan. I think more in terms of creating systems than setting goals. With these systems, I’m doing something on a regular basis that makes me better and more content in the long run, regardless of immediate outcomes.

I don’t get the instant gratification that achieving a goal can give, but I also don’t carry the stress of not reaching a goal.

7 Quotes on why Writing is Hard but Rewarding

The DEEPSEA Sea-dweller watch I’d been eyeing had arrived, and I was to pay the balance and collect. I already owned four watches, and this was my fifth—all purchased within the past two years.

However, over the weeks prior to the call, I began to have some doubts. It all started innocently enough. I questioned whether I needed another costly watch. This then snowballed into an existential money crisis.

I put the watch on my wrist. It was rather heavy and looked too big for my hand. I felt a gnawing inside me, a heaviness in my chest and a mental nausea. It was similar to the feeling after a gluttonous bout of eating chocolate or Big Macs.

I shook my head in disbelief, trying to explain that I had a business and enough money to cover all my expenses for the 10-day trip to the States, but that I didn’t think of bringing proof. Having a British passport and applying for a self-funded low-residency MFA program, I didn’t think I required the statement.

I also wanted to say that I had an ESTA visa, which meant I could visit the States anytime.

He shook his head, handed me a refusal sheet that covered the embassy legally, and waved his fingers as if I were a fugitive seeking asylum. My face turned red. As I walked out, I knew that I’d messed up. I had been too arrogant.

Ernest Hemingway was such a man.

He was a great writer, but much more. He provided us with so many lessons in life—not only in his writing and quotes, but also through the way he lived. Love him or hate him, he was always in action and living life to its fullest. Here are 7 of his most striking (and instructive) quotes: