Whether to Float With the Tide or Swim For a Goal.

Hunter S. Thompson said, “A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.”

The year 2018 was probably one of my worst. I was beset by physical, mental and emotional challenges. I broke my leg in January. The company I own and run had its worst cycle in 25 years of existence. Emotionally, I found myself stuck in fight or flight mode—either angry at myself and others or switched off to avoid facing the issues at hand.

I didn’t want to let go of my bitterness, so instead, I spent most of my time waging a war on myself.

Worst of all, I stopped writing to focus on the existential fires igniting almost on a daily basis. I ended up utterly adrift of my real self—the only self who could help ease my troubles.

However, as has been said so many times before, it is in suffering that we lay the foundation for growth and change.

When things don’t go as expected, we can shift our perspective through self-inquiry and honesty. Through the chaos, we arrive at a new level of awareness. Since personal growth is the currency I most cherish, I think I will ultimately remember 2018 with fondness and gratitude.

I reflected on what I wanted from 2019. My thinking shifted as I perceived each goal with greater depth and understanding.

It wasn’t only about doing and achieving but rather being and experiencing.

It was about how I was going to show up for my goals.

A letter written by the famous journalist Hunter S. Thompson to his friend Hume Logan in 1958 further validated my thoughts. Responding to a request for life advice, Thompson captures the essence of a decision we all must face:

“Whether to float with the tide or to swim for a goal. It is a choice we must all make consciously or unconsciously at one time in our lives. So few people understand this! Think of any decision you’ve ever made which had a bearing on your future: I may be wrong, but I don’t see how it could have been anything but a choice however indirect— between the two things I’ve mentioned: the floating or the swimming.

But why not float if you have no goal? That is another question. It is unquestionably better to enjoy the floating than to swim in uncertainty. So how does a man find a goal? Not a castle in the stars, but a real and tangible thing. How can a man be sure he’s not after the “big rock candy mountain,” the enticing sugar-candy goal that has little taste and no substance?

The answer— and, in a sense, the tragedy of life— is that we seek to understand the goal and not the man. We set up a goal which demands of us certain things: and we do these things. We adjust to the demands of a concept which CANNOT be valid. When you were young, let us say that you wanted to be a fireman. I feel reasonably safe in saying that you no longer want to be a fireman. Why? Because your perspective has changed. It’s not the fireman who has changed, but you. Every man is the sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experiences differ and multiply, you become a different man, and hence your perspective changes. This goes on and on. Every reaction is a learning process; every significant experience alters your perspective.”

I believe in the essential power of setting clear goals and the importance of having them in our lives. However, I strongly feel that we need to understand ourselves better and examine our goals with a fresh perspective before we set them.

Thompson continues, “To put our faith in tangible goals would seem to be, at best, unwise. So we do not strive to be firemen, we do not strive to be bankers, nor policemen, nor doctors. WE STRIVE TO BE OURSELVES.”

We need to be ourselves, not a conglomerate of what society and the media deposit into our unsuspecting minds. Whether through magazines, blogs, movies, or social media, the “Jones” persona infiltrates our psyche. We compare ourselves to it, but instead, we need to filter our thoughts and search our subconscious to understand the goals we truly want to pursue.

We need to dig deeper for the hidden meaning of our most seductive goals.

One of my goals for 2018 was to climb Mount Kilimanjaro with my son. Unfortunately, that plan quickly went out the window when I broke my leg. With my new awareness, however, today, I would question why I needed to scale Kilimanjaro.

What was the purpose of that journey? Was I truly willing to make the sacrifice and put in the hours of training required? Or was it, perhaps, one of the many ideas that had infiltrated my mind through the media, which made mountain climbing seem like such a wonderful spiritual experience?

If I had dug deep, I would have concluded that the real purpose of climbing the mountain was to bond with my son and experience something extraordinary together. In the end, I did both without needing to climb any mountain. We spent several weeks together doing small things that meant so much. Whether it was getting ice cream or working with him to create a special bonding day for my company team, we experienced many extraordinary moments.

One of my ongoing goals is to be healthy. At age 50, my perspective changed, and healthy has come to mean something different than it did a decade ago. My aim now is not to have a six-pack, run a marathon, or be the strongest man alive, but rather to exercise regularly, eat well and be healthy.

The underlying purpose of being healthy is this: I want to live fully for as long as I can, without any physical ailments, and with lots of energy. It’s really not about running this marathon or getting that body, but rather how I show up every day.

I’m still convinced that we must swim towards goals rather than floating aimlessly, but sometimes it’s also okay to float… just as long as we know our general direction.

Set your intentions loosely. Ensure that they are relevant to your true self, and don’t forget that goals are not the end but rather the means for us to strive to be ourselves.