Second Thoughts on Valentine ’s Day
“When you See Love with All your heart you shall find its Echoes in the Universe”
I used to look at Valentine’s Day as a kind of false occasion, something created to sell cards, gifts and countless red roses by Hallmark. I hated the fuss about it, argued with everyone about its authenticity and completely removed it from my calendar to the annoyance of the women I dated.
History, Literature and Mythology have described love to us in many beautiful ways. However, I never understood the effect of love and always viewed it something separate to me like a kind of sickness that afflicts the weak. I picked up a book describing the love communiqué between Henry Miller and Anaïs Nin and couldn’t appreciate the beauty of their words.
I read about Richard Burton’s fiery relationship with Elizabeth Taylor, but I couldn’t understand why they would fight so much and then makeup, then fight and make up again. I was thinking Richard, man up. I read of Anthony dying because he thought Cleopatra was dead, and she then killed herself because he died, and I refused to believe that such a tough general would be brought down by love. After love struck, I got a rude awakening and found out that I wasn’t as tough as I imagined myself to be. Actually I wasn’t much stronger than Bambi. I went through the full motions: the good, the bad and the downright ugly.
I survived and changed the way I looked at many things so the things I looked at changed. I had now experienced love and knew all about love.
Love is much more than pure romantic love, but it’s in romantic love that our hearts are smashed wide open, and we start feeling rather than thinking our way towards life.
Love teaches you many lessons, which include compassion, forgiveness and connection. Love shows you unlimited possibilities on how you can become a greater, bigger person.
When I think of love,
I think of joy but also despair,
I think of laughs but also tears,
I think of open minds allowing open hearts,
I think of big open hearts with scars and wounds,
I think of those letters between Henry and Anais,
I think of Richard Burton and Liz Taylor gouging each other’s eyes out,
I think of Scheherazade’s story-telling to charm King Shahryar not to kill her.
I think of Penelope waiting and waiting for Odysseus
I think of Anthony dying for Cleopatra and she for him
I think of Qays (majnoun) going mad for Layla
Oh, what grand stories of love we have,
If you can’t find one,
If you can’t be in one,
Then stop living now.
Go die as a love-less soul,
or even worse go live a soul-less love.
Unfortunately we have compartmentalised this feeling of love as if it’s only for that moment with that person, or only meant at a certain period of your life.
In reality, it’s a doorway to your heart and an opportunity to live a wholehearted kind of life. It’s introducing us to the concept that love is for everyone, in every moment and with everyone and everything.
Love opens your heart but doesn’t guarantee you won’t get hurt anymore. On the contrary, when you walk around with an open heart, you might get hurt more. It’s like removing the safety net beneath you. It’s like when anaesthesia wears out, and you feel again. Yes, it hurts but at least you know what’s going on now. Your feelings become true, real and a guide to what your heart truly wants for you.
I now feel gentler, softer and feel my heart expanding from within. I truly understand what all the fuss is about, and I finally get it that love is the universal language. I know I’m bleeding openly for many to look at, and many will find me an easy target to ridicule, put down or even hurt. It may mean a few more tears, a few more wounds or even scars, but I’m ready to put my vulnerabilities on the table.
I feel real, I feel me, and I feel good.
I reread the letters between Henry Miller and Anaïs Nin and know that it’s only love that can create such magical words. I understood all the turmoil that Richard Burton felt in his relationship with Liz Taylor and see him as one courageous soul as not many can stay alive when a tornado meets a volcano. I get it that no matter how powerful Mark Anthony was; he was also a human being in love. The beauty of love is that it makes us all equal.
I have a renewed respect for Valentine’s Day and now feel the real outpouring of love on this special day from everyone and everything around me. I know it’s not just about that one day, but it’s a symbol of what love could be all about. I look at it as a celebration of all those who are in love, all those who were in love and all those who will fall in love.
I know that this day was also meant to acknowledge all the true heroes of love; those who had their hearts broken yet refuse to close their hearts. Those who love unconditionally not caring to be loved back. Those who get disappointed on Valentine’s day, yet ready to do it all over again and again.
I wish all true lovers a Happy Valentine’s Day as they would rather live a day in love then a lifetime without.