The Journey to an Extraordinary Life Begins With the Ordinary

Life’s not a race. It’s a journey to savor and enjoy. Ambition–the relentless desire for more–can eat you up.” – Russ Roberts.

I see the beautiful sun disappearing into the horizon, and a sinking feeling overcomes me. There’s a lot that I’ve got to do on my mini-break in Lebanon.

Two days into my break, I already feel overwhelmed and anxious. I’ve yet to do anything towards a long list of things to accomplish.

Here, I was away from work and its pressures, staying in a villa with help around me and secluded from the outer world—the kind of break I’d prescribe for myself if I were coaching me.

I was here to be with my elderly father and, in my many free hours, to focus on Midlife Bliss—my blog/platform to help myself and others find more meaning in midlife.

And yet, I was carrying that same stressful feeling of disquiet when I was not on a break. When I’m running in full pelt to run my business, be with family and friends, fulfil social obligations, and work on Midlife Bliss.

This restlessness that I feel is almost always a mixture of overwhelm and anxiety, further tampered with guilt when I don’t do that task.

Why do I carry this feeling everywhere I go?

Perhaps my expectations are always too high, a cause for misery. But the crux is that I’m a ‘doing’ machine and only feel satisfied when I achieve objectives. I get immense satisfaction when I tick off tasks done. I’m always aiming for Inbox Zero.

I find it hard to sit with pending or unfinished. I crave ‘done’ and certainty, which feeds into an overarching narrative that I’m not enough if I don’t do stuff.

The uncomfortable truth is that I’m never satisfied with the ordinary and always chase the extraordinary.

I know I’m not alone in feeling this way. We’ve all become obsessed with wanting greatness. TV, the Internet and Social Media have exacerbated this social phenomenon in our lives today.

However, the problem is not that we want extraordinary but instead how we have narrowed the definition of extraordinary to a materialistic context. It’s all about doing stuff that often doesn’t match our interests or values.

Why would someone climb Everest if it isn’t their passion, only to put it on their CV and show the world? Or those toiling to get a PhD to have Dr before their names. And many think they’ve found the secret to well-being as they’ve accumulated many cars, watches and homes.

We keep telling ourselves and our children that we must be extraordinary but define it by results only; we’ve created this vast cognitive dissonance where we always feel worthless.

Since repositioning my blog as ‘Midlife Bliss’ a month ago, I have gained several hundred subscribers, which is good. But, I wanted more as I compared myself with other better-known writers on Substack who’ve been playing the game for many years.

In chasing ‘Batman’ status without realistic expectations of how much work and time it would take, I’d also taken the beautiful ordinariness of my life for granted.

The sun slowly rose before me when I was writing this essay while a slight breeze stroked my face and neck. It was an extraordinary few moments. I could feel my soul dance with delight.

And yet, I’d quickly forgotten it until it happened again the next day when I was editing. I took a few moments and a few cigar puffs to savour this time.

“It occurred to me that if I were a ghost, this ambiance was what I’d miss most: the ordinary, day-to-day bustle of the living. Ghosts long, I’m sure, for the stupidest, most unremarkable things.”—Banana Yoshimoto

I realise that my days are filled with ordinary moments that make my day extraordinary. Things like drinking an expresso lungo in the early morning while journalling and listening to Max Richter’s wonderful tunes. Reading Tolstoy and/or his Russian friends. Having deep and vulnerable conversations with friends after a few glasses of ‘Malbec’ Red wine.

Also, the times when I laugh when watching Friends with my kids or banter with my padle partners, especially if I win. Or when I’m in stitches at Sassy when she starts going cat crazy. Then, there’s the joy of walking while listening to an inspirational podcast. The list goes on and on.

Let’s be clear here: I’m not suggesting we chase mediocrity.

Instead, I’m saying that we have defined extraordinary incorrectly, and our actions to become extraordinary are nothing but ways to compete and compare with others. It is simply a way of keeping up with the Jones.

We are leaving our true essence behind in chasing ways to be extraordinary. We are not ‘feeling or being’ our way through the world. We are just doing, doing and doing, trying to escape our experiences instead of respecting them.

However, embracing our normal everyday things makes us lighter, happier, more creative, and more productive. And when we couple that with doing what we truly love for a few hours a day consistently, then extraordinary results will arrive.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to live an extraordinary life by filling my day with ordinary moments.

I will run my business for profit but make the customer central to the business strategy while making our employees happier, even if it means less revenue.

I will build ‘Midlife Bliss’ slowly, looking for the right people who want to engage. I will connect with like-minded people I’m discovering on Substack and other places. Writers like Diamond-Michael Scott, Kevin Kaiser, Jamie Millard whose words have impacted me.

I want to be healthy, injury-free and athletic for a 55-year-old and avoid striving for a six-pack and being controlled by it.

Perhaps I won’t have as much fame, popularity, power and money when I follow the ordinary path, but I will be less anxious and feel less overwhelmed or guilty and instead feel more blissful, like a bird freed from a cage ready to fly over oceans and mountain peaks.

In following the path of the ordinary, I know how extraordinary I will become.