A Father’s Duty is to Teach his Child to be a Warrior

There is a belief in ’New Age‘ spirituality “that anything unresolved within our energy field will keep manifesting itself in our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual life until we heal it. There is no escaping this.”

This idea was further impressed upon me while I read Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed. In the excerpt below, she describes a conversation she had with an astrologer called Pat:

“She began to speak of my father… It seems he was like a Vietnam vet,” she persisted. “Perhaps not literally. But he has something in common with some of those men. He was deeply wounded. He was damaged. His damage has infected his life, and it infected you.”

“Yes,” said Pat. “And you’re wounded in the same place. That’s what fathers do if they don’t heal their wounds. They wound their children in the same place.” She continued that, “the father’s job is to teach his children how to be warriors, to give them the confidence to get on the horse and ride into battle when it’s necessary to do so. If you don’t get that from your father, you have to teach yourself.”

Not only do I believe in the idea that if issues remain unresolved, they will snowball considerably but also that if we don’t solve them, we could bequeath them as legacies to our children, grandchildren, and the rest of humanity.

For example, if I don’t solve my lack of vulnerability, I may well pass that shortcoming onto my children.

We are all interconnected. We are all inter-dependent as is the past, present and future. However, the sad truth is that most of us continue our lives as if there is no problem. In fact, we run away as fast as we can from facing our struggles, hoping they disappear on their own. We refuse to believe these issues will linger on and affect our children.

I’m not a bad parent. I’ve done my best to provide my children with a home, food, education, experiences and the security required for them to grow and yet I find myself reflecting on whether I could do more.

Am I taking on the responsibility of ridding myself of the ‘unresolved energy’ that could affect my children?

Am I digging deep enough to leave them with sufficient artillery to continue the fight?

Am I being that father who teaches his child to be a warrior?

The way I was brought up, and the circumstances that unravelled in my life meant that I always had to be tough on the outside, leaving me invulnerable and impenetrable to my real emotions and hence a vaulted door to my heart.

This has been an ongoing battle for most of my adult life and, every time I think I’ve gotten closer to opening the vault, I realise that I’m not.

Today, I look at both my kids and notice that they are both somehow invulnerable, always trying too hard to be perfect. They are like me on that warpath. They don’t want to share any of their weaknesses or discuss the circumstances that hurt them.

It’s sad and alarming to think that my failure will leave them with that legacy.

However, this inner realisation has now made me double down on my goal to become more vulnerable; the only route to our heart, to our inner core and to our soul.

In winning my battle against vulnerability, I’m resolving and teaching my children to be warriors!