“Every man is what he is because of the dominating thoughts which he permits to occupy his mind.”-Napoleon Hill
She was late for dinner. Immediately, my thoughts spiralled out of control and my “thinking mind” was playing havoc with me from calling her irresponsible to downright untrustworthy. She then arrived, all smiles, kissed me and gave me a big hug. Suddenly she was the best thing that had ever happened to me. All my negative thoughts faded and were replaced with pleasing thoughts.
What makes our thoughts so sharply bipolar? How can she go from being untrustworthy to the love of my life in mere seconds?
Thoughts are neurotransmitters, chemical messengers that are released by the brain to allow it to communicate with parts of itself and the nervous system. Thoughts control all our body’s functions and our emotions which in turn affect our behaviour and results.
Scientific research has confirmed the power of thoughts and how they affect our behaviour. However, the most telling thing about how our mind works is that almost 90% of those electrical signals being formed are done so without our conscious consent or to be exact, they occur at the sub-conscious level.
We have two separate minds:
The Conscious mind which represents 5% of our mind is the thinking mind, where we think freely and can accept or reject any idea. It gets information from our five senses and is rooted in the present. E.g. When crossing the road, we hear a car approaching, and we immediately stop.
The Subconscious mind is like a super computer stored with a database of programmed behaviours, most of which we acquired between birth and the age of six. Almost 95% of our thoughts, decisions, emotions, and actions are influenced from the programming in our subconscious mind.
In the example above, my thoughts went astray as our relationship was still new and I was insecure. The programming in my subconscious from a previous relationship which broke down on the grounds of mistrust came into play.
The subconscious is basically running our lives and most of the time we are unaware of our behaviour, and if not addressed quickly enough, our thoughts crystallize into core beliefs which become almost impossible to shift.
However, science has shown that though it’s difficult, we can reprogram the subconscious mind by using some of the techniques below.
1.Stillness of the conscious mind
Our conscious mind is often so noisy that we can’t hear the whispers and murmurs that emanate from the subconscious. Meditation and mindfulness give us the calm and inner peace we often need so that our mind becomes clear enough to open communication between the two minds.
2. Notice Our Environment
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”-Jim Rohn.
Often we find that there are certain people around us, who are well-intentioned but create so much noise around our being that we can’t have the peace and quiet we need.
We can’t leave our conscious minds open to toxic people and negative situations. It’s not easy trying to quit smoking when all our friends smoke. Conversely, it’s much easier to develop a good eating habit when those around you eat well.
I often escape to the beach alone or sit in a quiet place surrounded by birds, trees and the wind where I can purify my conscious mind and so that it can be clear and efficient in affecting the subconscious.
3) Reflection and observation
We need to look at our behaviours so that we are aware of the results in our lives. In this way, we can start catching ourselves when we are in the midst of a tantrum, or during an eating binge that opposes the actions we want. The more we reflect on our results, the more we know where we are headed.
As soon as I find myself getting frustrated or angry, I stop immediately, retreat and take three deep breaths. This action alone has saved me countless moments of rage, anger and going the wrong way.
4) Creating Habits
“In every area of life — from your education to your work to your health — it is your amount of grit, mental toughness, and perseverance predicts your level of success more than any other factor we can find.”-James Clear
Repetition is key to reprogramming the subconscious mind, and so it’s important that we persist in whatever we are trying to impress onto the subconscious mind.
Whether it’s creating new positive behaviours or replacing old negative ones, then the best way to do so is by incorporating habits into our lives.
It’s smarter to split habits into smaller wins so that we make sure we can remain consistent with our actions.
For example, I have created a habit of writing for 30 minutes each day, something that is not so difficult but after six consecutive months, I’ve started reaping the benefits as my writing has improved tremendously, and I’m getting published regularly.
5) Visualisation
The mind doesn’t know if we are doing something or not and the more we visualize or imagine the desired outcome than the more neural pathways in our brain that we altar and as such we are rewiring our brains.
Michael Phelps, American swimmer and the most decorated Olympian of all time visualized his races in detail, and usually many times a day. He would “play the movie” over and over so that all of the little things could be done as perfectly as possible, and with as little conscious thought as possible.
6) Taking action
“What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson
If visualization has been proved by science, to rewire our brains, then taking action is likely to have an even larger impact. There is nothing like taking the plunge and getting out of our comfort zone for us to yield the best results in change.
I committed to run four times a week and for four weeks and after a month I had cultivated the habit of running.
We have the power to change our behaviours only when we recognize that we need to address the subconscious, emotional mind through our conscious thinking mind.
We can’t control our past programming, but we can from this moment on, start to create new behaviours by consistently marking the subconscious mind with the actions and results that we want in our lives.
It’s the first day of the year. It’s a day I like to spend alone and reflect on myself, my actions towards the goals of last year and to see if I have changed or, at least, created some momentum to change.
After all, we are goal-setting machines, and our growth is served not only by achieving goals but in who we become when we proceed faithfully towards them.And so it’s imperative that we reflect on what worked and what didn’t in the past year.
Almost six out of ten resolutions fail in the first week alone, and approximately 48% of corporate goals are abandoned after only three months. So the point is not if we fail, but when we fail.
Why is it that many of us don’t stay true to our goals and fail to make any lasting change? Why do we not lose the 20 pounds we promised ourselves we would? Why don’t we put that extra money in a savings account as we intended to?
It’s true that self-discipline is key and without it, most goals are unachievable, but there are also several other reasons why our goals don’t last, but only for a few weeks.
1) The word “Goal” is loaded and overwhelming
I’ve found that the word “Goal” in itself is heavy and is ladened with so many expectations that it represents a universal concept that is tired which adds so much stress to us when mentioned. It implies that in not achieving it then you are a failure.
Recently, I’ve started to use the word “Intention” as it allows me to think that even if I create some momentum towards it without achieving it, then I’m still successful.
I set an intention to write an e-book for last year, and I couldn’t do it. However, I’ve made meaningful progress towards writing it and learned a few things on the way to be able to get it done this year and so I don’t feel like a failure just because I didn’t finish the book.
2) Our reflections are not deep enough
When reflecting on the past year, then it’s important that we scrutinise both successes and failures. We must understand the reasons why we failed in achieving our intentions and appreciate that it could well be something that we were not yet ready for.
We must be weary of our ego pushing us to do something, and that in the greater scheme of things it wasn’t the right time or the right match for us. I had set a Goal to run the New York marathon, but my body hadn’t recovered from the previous year’s injuries I suffered in running too much too quickly.As such, every time I completed a long run, then I would completely break down causing me much pain and disappointment.
If i had been honest with my reflection, and knowing the conditions of my knees, then I wouldn’t have set sucah an intention.It doesnt mean I have given up on my dream to run a marathon, but I must first rehabilitate my knees.
3) Are our Goals/Intentions relevant to us?
Our culture has become one which is inundated with achievement, success and the spoils of it all. We often set intentions for the sake of it, and bucket lists have become a way to compare how we rate our happiness and contentment in life as compared to the next person as if that was true.
We can reduce the stress we put on ourselves, by choosing what is relevant to us rather than what is in vogue.What’s the point of climbing Kilimanjaro if it means nothing to us? Why take up Yoga, only because all of California is doing so?
When we ask ourselves why we are pursuing our goal or intention, and it still makes us all giddy and excited to do so, then it means we are on the right track.And when we view our life as an eighty-year project rather than a short-sighted view of twelve months, we start to choose fewer and more meaningful things to do or achieve per year.
I set several intentions in 2015 to learn Tai Chi, Pilates and run a marathon in 2015 and I ended up doing none. Instead, I should have asked myself why I truly wanted all of them and if I still wanted them, then set only one of them per year and leave the others for the following years.
4) We don’t set enough Spiritual Goals/Intentions
Spiritual goals or intentions are things like, I want to control my anger outbursts, or I will wake up every day and put a smile on at least one person. Gabrielle Reece, the famous former Model/Volleyball professional stated in an interview that she had set an intention long ago to “Go First,” meaning she would greet, smile and approach anyone she came across before they did.
These intentions are more difficult and often hard to gauge, but they nourish the soul and as such lead to a lasting change.They improve our attitudes, mindsets and the way we interact with the world. They make us better people and so we find achieving all our other intentions much easier to do.
Last year I decided that I wanted to have more peace and solitude in my life. I started rising earlier by an hour every day to have some time on my own, and I can honestly say it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done and that alone helped me achieve many of the other intentions I set.
5)We don’t define and plan the actions needed towards an intention
The whole point of setting goals or intentions is to get into action and without a clearly defined action plan and a schedule set for actually doing them than we are doomed to fail.The intentions are the 1% inspiration we need while the actions are 99% perspiration we have to do.
It’s important to block out specific time in the calendar for doing the actions required towards our set intentions. I’ve marked my calendar with three sessions of writing per week each lasting three hours, and I know if I remain true to those actions, then I will not only achieve my desired outcomes but will also increase the amount contentment in my life.
Whether we call them Goals, Intentions, or New year’s Resolutions, it’s important to have some clarity on how we will spend the next minute, the next day and the next year.
We can simplify this process, or complicate it but the bottom line is that we have an inner need to effect lasting change within ourselves and grow every minute, every day and every year.
“I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.”-Henry David Thoreau
Solitude is a lost art in our fast and furious modern lifestyles where we are connected to the world instantly, have little time for ourselves and are busy tweeting our every thought and act.
I have recently embarked on a love affair with solitude; something I never knew I craved till I discovered it. Now, I feel I just can’t get enough of being solitary to the chagrin of my family and friends.
I don’t want to be a monk, a hermit or someone who is trying to run away from the vicissitudes of life, but I’ve found great solace in what Wordsworth called the ‘bliss of solitude’.
There is a big difference between solitude and loneliness as explained by Psychology Today:
“Loneliness is a negative state, marked by a sense of isolation. One feels that something is missing. It is possible to be with people and still feel lonely—perhaps the most bitter form of loneliness. Solitude is the state of being alone without being lonely. It is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. Solitude is desirable, a state of being alone where you provide yourself wonderful and sufficient company.”
Solitude does not include being alone while watching TV, reading books or surfing the internet. It strictly means being alone with ourselves and our thoughts or better still, being alone with no thoughts.
For me, solitude simply put, is a spiritual rendezvous between our souls and us. It’s when we get to meet and talk with our genuine true selves.And from those wonderful trysts, many benefits have come to me:
1) Calmness and Tranquility
The moments I have alone every morning, remove all the tension and stress that have built up over the previous days. This feeling of solitary bliss allows me to sit alone and be steadfast as thoughts and urges of what to do next come to me, as I try to let them quietly go.
There is no noise to distract me, there are no demands on me, and there are no expectations of me when I’m alone. I’m not under pressure to do or be and as such I have this feeling of relief that then permeates my whole being and as such I find myself calmer more times than not.
2) Contemplation and Reflection
“The quieter you become,the more you can hear”-Ram Dass
As we sit alone and listen to our thoughts, we begin to see them for what they are. When you want to get to know someone better, the first advice we get is to spend quality “alone” time with them and yet we ignore that when it comes to spending time with ourselves.
The more hours we spend alone contemplating, the better we get to know ourselves.We start seeing where we have gone wrong and what steps we need to take to correct our behaviours. We look at the grand scheme of things and become clear on what matters to us and not what matters to people and society.
3) Appreciation of Life
In solitude, I often find myself appreciating the people and things in my life as when I’m alone I truly see their worth. I often practice what the Stoics called “Negative Visualisation” which simply means to visualise our lives without the people we love, without the things we love to do and without the small things that we have in our lives.
I find this contemplation very positive as it makes me appreciate much more what and who I have in my life. I often call or connect to my loved ones very quickly after this practice.
4) Creativity
“You need not leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. You need not even listen, simply wait, just learn to become quiet, and still, and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice; it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”-Franz Kafka
Solitude and removing ourselves from the noisy activity of life is the bedrock of creativity, as we start hearing our thoughts, and reach deep into ourselves to find our true voice.
The deeper we reach, the more likely we are to meet our muse, and suddenly wonderful ideas and insights appear magically. The time we spend alone also helps us cultivate the ability to focus for longer periods and as such I find I do my best writing after long periods of solitude.
Einstein, Goethe, Kafka, Tesla are only a few of the many greats who changed our world and being alone played a big part in their creative process as great ideas would flow to them during solitude.
5) Isolation from other’s influences
No matter how we look at things, environment and people do affect us. We intend going for a short lunch and before we know it, plans change and friends want to do something else, and now we are under peer pressure to spend more time with them instead of the time we wanted to spend alone.
However, if we truly have started practicing solitude and start valuing our alone time, then we find ourselves strong enough to say no more times than we would have said yes.
It’s like we have to be alone and it becomes an inner need that must be fulfilled every day, and when we cultivate a friendship with our genuine true self, then we find that it is quite demanding and possessive of our time.
There are many ways in finding the time for solitude, and I’ve found it by rising early, and just before the sun comes out is a beautiful time to be truly alone.
I’ve also found long walks to be a great way to spend time alone, and whenever I’m in a big city where walking is easy and practical, then I would walk either through the big parks or discover the city itself.
Also being out and about in nature, whether living on a farm, beach, river, in the countryside or going on weekend retreats to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city is a great way to get solitude.
We need to enjoy our own company more as at the end of the day, and at the end of our lives, we would have spent the most time with ourselves.
We need to be proactive to schedule time with ourselves alone as the more we sit and get to know our souls better, the more purpose and alive we will feel.
I couldn’t take it anymore. My inner voice was screaming as my outer self was holding it back. It was like a dam waiting to burst. I went into my office, locked my door and took a few deep breaths. I tried to meditate but just couldn’t. I completely broke down and started crying.
I knew I had reached my limit; my cup was full, and there was nothing I could do about this sense of overwhelm I was feeling. None of my habit strategies could work, as I had used up every ounce of discipline that was in me.
It had been a hectic few months as I was juggling so many things in my life. From fighting grief after the loss of my mother, trying to save a foundation that I had set up a few years ago, and watching my company struggle in the worst macroeconomic conditions I’ve ever experienced.
And if that wasn’t enough, I took on several other challenges such as preparing to run a marathon, hosting a large speaking event and attempting to write a book.
I had fallen back into my old ways, where I would do one million things rather than face the pain. I would take on many projects so that I wouldn’t have time to reflect and think about my difficulties.
Fortunately, I’m much more aware than I used to be, and I now listen very carefully to my body. The first signs came when I pulled my calf muscle and couldn’t train anymore and had to sit out running for a month and as such missed the marathon date.
The final sign was my breakdown at the office. I left work and drove to a nearby spot that overlooked the sea and stared at the greenish blue waters for what seemed like an eternity.
We all go through times when we get overwhelmed. As in my case where I wanted to close off my heart for fear of getting hurt, so I put on a shield and took on task after task.
Other times, we are afraid of missing out and say yes to everything that comes our way, forgetting that a day consists of only 24 hours.
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”
― E.E. Cummings
Overwhelm leads to frustration, and that leads to stress, which in turn leads to health problems (headaches, muscle aches, high blood pressure, heart disease). It also starts us towards destructive behavior (overeating, drugs, etc.), which can cause full-blown depression.
These are 5 ways that you can overcome overwhelm and stop it manifesting into something much worse than mere frustration:
1. Awareness
The first step is to be aware that we are in “overwhelm” mode, and this is usually easier said done particularly when we are in the thick of things.
However everyone develops certain signs when they know they are heading into an overwhelming high alert mode. I feel them as soon as my breathing becomes wayward and when my frustrated thoughts won’t go away during my meditation practice.
2. Step back
After awareness, we need to take a step back, take a break and rejuvenate ourselves while we re-evaluate where we are in the grand scheme of things. I usually take an afternoon off work and go to the beach (I’m lucky as it’s only 20 minutes away) or just listen to music/watch a movie for an afternoon.
3. Does what we’re doing seem right for our vision?
Now look at the projects, or tasks that we’ve taken on and ask why are we doing them. Do these move us towards our vision? Why should I spend time and energy on projects like writing a book, or running a marathon when it’s not part of my personal vision? We need to be careful not to do things for the sake of filling our bucket lists.
Ernest Hemingway said: “All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.” He meant that there was no need to add many flowery words to your sentence. And don’t be afraid of removing a sentence that you love if it doesn’t add real value to your final piece.
4.Think small and slow things down
Life is a marathon and not a race so whatever you have in your hand, think of it as a long-term project rather than something you have to finish within a week. This way of thinking has helped me so much as I’ve slowed things down where I now think of 5-7 years per goal and plan my goals as if I’ll live till I’m a hundred years old.
I’ve also set a maximum of doing three major tasks/activities a day, and I’ll start with task one till I finish it before I move on to the next one and so on. I’ve found this number to be my right balance.
5.Detachment of results
We often place a heavy burden on ourselves by setting high expectations on projects/goals we take on. I do believe that measurable goals are important to track our progress, but we must let go of the need for results. As we let go of that need and just focus on the process, then the results will work themselves out and surprise us.
I’ve started using time sessions per task instead of tracking results.
E.g., I will write for an hour every other day, rather than saying I’ll write three articles a week. I will exercise 45 minutes for four days a week, rather than stressing on how many miles I will run, or what muscles I’ll work today.
“By letting it go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try the world is beyond the winning.”
-Lao-Tzu
We need to treat this feeling of overwhelm as if it’s our emotional indicator that tells us to take a step back, slow down and ask ourselves again what matters most to us.
It’s a gift from the universe like an internal thermostat, and all we have to do is remove all the fear surrounding us and adhere to it.
And the best thing is that, no matter how bad yesterday was, every morning is a new beginning and an opportunity to live without overwhelm and stress.
After embarking on a self-discovery journey and asking the questions of what helps me to come alive. I’ve found that I can’t just focus on the Mind and the Spirit. The body is also part of me, and what I eat in particular affects my mood and energy.
We need to be aware of how our body works and how we can take care of it, as it houses our mind and spirit. We do it with our cars, sending them to regular maintenance and feeding them with the right oils and fuels so that they serve us well. Moreover, yet we neglect our bodies and what we eat as if it’s something outside of us and under the domain of some separate higher power.
Would we put petrol in our car when it works on diesel? Would we not put water when the car’s radiator warning light says so? However, we stuff ourselves with processed foods, some far worse than drinking a glass of petrol. We don’t drink enough water during the day even when our internal sign says we should.
Photo Credit: Brook Cagle
I’m not an expert on food; I don’t even know how you would address the so-called experts in the field of Nutrition. However, after so many years of listening to my body, reading countless books and going on many new diet fads. I feel I have some knowing how to eat and what goes into my mouth.
We are all so different, and yet we are made of the same stuff. The more we quiet the noise outside, and listen to those parts of our body that talk to us. Then the more we connect with our primal intuition and know what food is good for us and what isn’t.
“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.”-Hippocrates
Over the years, I’ve found that if I follow the simple guidelines below, I feel energised, sleep well every day and have no digestive concerns whatsoever.
1)Eat Slowly & Mindfully
We need to cultivate our relationship with food and give it the time and focus that it deserves. We should pay attention to the details of our foods with a simple commitment to appreciate, respect and enjoy the food we eat. We should engage our senses to appreciate food’s nourishing qualities, savoring the tanginess of a lemon or the spiciness of a jalapeno pepper. How can we enjoy food when we scoff our lunches in front of a computer within a few minutes? 2) Don’t Feel guilty when eating badly
Our bodies like our minds perform much better, digesting foods quicker when in a restive or relaxed mood rather than in stressful situations. Moreover, when we eat something that we feel we shouldn’t, we feel guilty which then releases stress hormones hampering digestion. Once in a while, a bowl of ice cream or that fully loaded pizza tempts us, so we need to set an intention to enjoy eating it and have no guilt about doing so.
3)Chew our foods well
I went on a nutrition course a while ago, and all I could remember through the bombardment of information was that the only time we had conscious control of our digestion was when we chewed on our foods. Digestion starts in the mouth with the action of our saliva and if we don’t chew well then there is so much more work for our digestive system to do.
4) Drink lots of water
Our bodies are about 70% water, and our brains are 90% water, so it makes us sense to drink lots of water. Our bodies function better when we are hydrated, and it aids in so many aspects of the body like in digestion, maintaining body temperature, energizing muscles and taking care of the kidneys. Water also flushes out toxins and some studies suggests, it even improves our mood.
Drinking eight glasses or two liters a day is usually enough but it all depends on the person, the climate we are in and how active we are. The best indicator is your urine color which needs to be as close to clear as possible.
5) Avoid Processed Foods
Processed food is any food that has been altered from its natural state in some way or another. They include many foods that are readily available in fast-food joints and regular supermarkets and vary from Microwave meals to breakfast cereals, fruit juices, soft drinks, savory snacks, chocolates, many cheeses, and bread. The list is endless.
6)Eat Colorful Vegetables
Only 10% of the world meet the recommended daily amount of vegetable intake needed, so many of us are missing on their benefits. All the nutrients found in fruits are also in vegetables, and yet we eat more fruits.
I was waiting to start a running race when I got talking to an Italian runner, and we discussed eating. He told me how he had lived with his Mama’s advise on vegetables, making it a habit to eat 3-5 different colors of vegetables per day.
7)Eat fruits on an empty stomach
Fruits can be beneficial as they are natural detoxifiers and help in the digestive process. However, always eat fruit on an empty stomach as our body uses different enzymes to digest fruit. Moreover, it needs to process the nutrients and the fiber separately. Also, we need to be careful as fruits have so much sugar in them, e.g., an Apple has 19 grams of sugar or almost 5 teaspoons of sugar.
8)Avoid All Sugars
We all know how bad sugar is, and of its negative effect on our bodies. Sugar is better known as “Sweet Poison”, and recent studies have shown it to be as addictive as cocaine.
I freely admit I’m a sugar addict, and I’m trying hard to overcome my addiction. And as I’m writing now about sugar, there is an ingrained desire in me that is sending a signal to my salivary glands. This in turn makes my brain react sending neurotransmitters around to prepare my body for some sugar, and I’m eyeing the chocolate bar in front of me.
Sugar tampers with our dopamine receptors, and we are always looking for the next stronger hit of sugar. I stopped sugar and fruits for two weeks and saw first hand how addictive it is. The minute I had a piece of cake, then I wanted something else that night and woke up next morning with a craving for sugar.
Sugar has two parts; the good part being Glucose, which our body needs and the nasty one known as Fructose that goes directly to the liver. This induces less insulin production, triggering hunger signals in the brain, and rather than utilize this sugar for energy, our body often turns fructose into liver fat. It is this Fructose that needs to be eliminated from our diets.
Sugar is everywhere in our foods and diets from alcohol to refined carbohydrates. We need to be vigilant with labels to check the carbohydrate content with the amount of sugar they contain. And we always need to remember that every 4.4 grams of sugar make one full teaspoon of sugar.
9) Know your Food
We have a responsibility to know what we put in our mouths. We need to understand what is good and not so good for us by trial and error. We need to check labels, know the sources of whom we buy our food from. We must have a general idea of the differences between Protein, Carbohydrates(fast and slow), Fibre, Fats, Fruits, and Vegetables.
We also need to plan what we are eating every day so if we over eat at lunch, then compensate by having a lighter dinner. Alternatively, if we exercised in the morning, then a heavier snack is needed.
However, it’s also important not to overwhelm ourselves with details and to keep everything simple. For me, I just like to know in the morning what I’m eating for the upcoming day.
10)Listen to your Body
There is a great story I read in an article where a Native American asks the Caucasian if he is hungry. The Caucasian looks at his watch and says “there’s an hour left for lunch time so let’s wait a bit.” The Native American man shakes his head and says: “Only you white men tell by the time on a clock whether you’re hungry or not.”
Eat when you are Hungry. Eat when your body sends you a message and not because you need to follow a set time of eating. Don’t eat because you need to comfort yourself. Don’t eat when you are bored.
For me, listening to my body has meant eating every three hours splitting my main meals with smaller snacks and never eating three hours before I sleep.
I’ve left the city with its politics and turmoil to visit my late mother’s burial site in the village. It’s only for the weekend, but I thought it would be chastening. It was for most of the time but only because I wasn’t letting go of my City-mentality which is one fraught with arrogance, ego, and materialism.
As I drove towards the village, my attitude was one of superiority-why would I want to make myself suffer without all the trappings of the city life? For example, it’s an especially hot day, and there is no air-conditioning at the house I’m staying at. The flies are everywhere and are as annoying as hell as they attack non-stop, and I got to appreciate why we use flies as metaphors for stickiness.
It’s now late in the evening, and the sun is setting. I’m sitting on a plastic chair on the balcony in spartan surroundings. In front of me, I can see a mountain and below me a valley. I can hear the birds sing, and I’m watching the trees stand tall and be still with utter reverence. I am in absolute solitude.
Finally, a slight breeze approaches with a chill that hits my face and neck and runs down my body. I get that gratifying feeling as I watch the skyline change colors from Orange to light blue. The sun and the moon briefly share the sky. The sun goes down leaving the moon, and the stars to light up the sky. I suddenly feel connected to the universe and feel so alive.
The distressed thoughts I brought along with me from the city have magically disappeared as I enjoy the peace around me. This inner peace is something that is difficult to describe. It’s like I’ve tapped into a universal source that instantly frees me as if I have hit a reset button to my biochemistry.
Thoughts are like clouds,
they come and go.
Thoughts are like rumors,
some true but most are not.
Sixty thousand thoughts a day,
so how can we be every one of them?
Some thoughts consume us
and govern our minds.
They turn to murmurs
that destroy our lives.
And yet, all we have to do is
sit still and watch them
drift away and further away.
How can we hear our truths
or Plug into our source
Until and Unless we quiet that Monkey-Mind?
All the anxiety I carried with me is gone. That nagging inner voice in my head has also gone. My shoulders so tense before, are now loose, and the throbbing headache I had has left me. I can hear sounds from very far, and I can see clearly in high definition up to the horizon of the sea.
I have become a spiritual being who knows that I’m not my worries or my ruminating thoughts-I am in solitude.
The more I find ways to get in solitude, the more I love myself. It’s a deepening love of myself, one that I now know exists and see as an essential part of my life.
We all live busy and noisy lives and manage to fret away hours on people, tv ,surfing the net, driving and yet we don’t manage to give ourselves 30 minutes of solitude a day.
I can’t say enough about how solitude has helped me in my life. I have learned to enjoy myself alone, reflect and analyze what is right for me. I have learned to distinguish between the noises that torment me from the music that enliven me.
I have started appreciating time alone out in nature and being out in the open more often than not. I now love to stare in awe at the beauty of life that is around me, whether it’s a 100-year old tree or a flock of seagulls flying just above me.
Spending time alone doesn’t solve all your problems, but at least it puts you on the track to be aware of your being. Solitude gives you the calmness to be able to face your problems with a clear head.
