The Authenticity Project

The Authenticity Project

Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.- Brené Brown

In Leo Tolstoy’s work The Death of Ivan Ilych, we learn that for life to be meaningful we need to have a strong bond both with human relationships and nature. Like Ivan in this enthralling book, a lot of people learn this lesson rather late in life. A lot of people are just passing through this life casually, they ‘go with the flow’. They allow society and other individuals to dictate how they should live their lives. From the cradle to the grave, they wear invisible masks. Who they are and who they portray themselves to be are not the same.

I realized a lot of people are not at peace with themselves because of this inconsistency. They surround themselves with artificiality, afraid of revealing who they really are, lest they are seen as vulnerable. This eventually leads to unfulfillment in life. All these instances inspired me to create The Authenticity Project, which is aimed at identifying and celebrating people who have dared greatly, and who are showcasing a life of authenticity.

Authenticity is not a destination but a journey of deep self-discovery. Being authentic means coming from a real place within where our actions and words are congruent with our beliefs and values. At its root, authenticity requires self-knowledge and self-awareness. It allows us to connect deeply with others as it requires us to be transparent and vulnerable. Authentic people accept their strengths and weaknesses. They are connected to their values and desires and act deliberately in ways that are consistent with those qualities.  True authenticity is being ourselves and not an imitation of what we think we should be.

To create an authentic life we need to redefine our values, keep an open mind, develop a growth mindset and fully embrace vulnerability. We need to eschew inauthenticity, which is characterized by feelings of fraudulence, deception, self-consciousness, and the feeling that we need to keep up appearances.

Living authentically is not stagnant: it is constantly shifting and taking on new forms. If we truly believe in living an authentic life, then we must continually be learning about ourselves, challenging old beliefs and sorting through our baggage. We must face our fears and doubts, and reach deeply within ourselves to find out what makes our heart sing and our spirit soar. Authenticity is finding where our authentic self feels the most alive, free and unburdened — and then having the courage to live from this place.

We all have a unique gift or talent and we must find it and work on it, as it will give us the greatest platform to be who we must be and as such serve humanity accordingly. Authenticity rules, and should be embedded in the very core of our lives. Be yourself, do what you love, and with such passion that you will bring contentment to the lives of others.

Visit our website tap.mo-issa.com to submit your authentic project. The top three final shortlist of projects will be supported with structured mentorship for a year by a member of the Evaluation Committee, and will be invited to a series of The Shift seminars, hosted by me. Like our Facebook page The Authenticity Project for constant updates on our pioneering living examples, how to submit and the like.

The Authenticity Project : Inspiring People to be their true selves

How Mourinho can revive my passion for Manchester United & Football  

 

mourinhomoissa
Photo Source: mirror.co.uk

 Football isn’t something that you can fake, it’s a feeling, a passion, a lifestyle. It’s an honest game and true to life.- Anonymous

I’m watching my beloved football team winning, and I’ve got this strange feeling. I want them to lose. I’ve been supporting Manchester United for almost 40 years now, and I can’t ever remember feeling this way.I also can’t understand the indifference I’ve felt for them over the last 2-3 months.

Let’s get one thing clear, this football team; Manchester United is strongly etched on my heart. It’s not an ephemeral admiration with great sports teams or individuals. This is a relationship which has lasted longer than any other in my life.

I still remember the celebrations after winning the treble in 1999 with the ecstatic climax of scoring two winning goals in the last three minutes of the European Champions League final like it was yesterday. I recall, at sixteen, pleading with my parents to let me miss school the day after my team got thrashed 6-0 by Ipswich Town. How can I ever forget the pain and agony of paying a fortune to travel with my son and others to watch the Wembley mauling by Messi’s Barcelona?

Adopting a sports team, be it football, baseball or basketball is an inner need that dates back to our homo-sapiens origins. We all need to belong to some group where we can connect as a whole and feel this camaraderie that unfortunately goes missing in our lives.

We all need platforms where we can express our feelings and allow ourselves to get on an emotional roller coaster ride. We often aren’t able to do it in our personal lives or our professional lives, and therein starts our love affair with football.

Why then did I want them to lose? I was hoping that the hierarchy would finally wake up and recognise they had erred in hiring a robotic Dutch manager–Louis Van Gaal– and would sack him and replace him with one of my personal heroes–José Mourinho,who was suddenly on the market due to incredible circumstances.

Manchester United, with its rich history is arguably the biggest sports franchise in the world with throngs of fans spread out all over the globe: ranging from a small country like Malta to a big one like Malaysia. They have created a visceral bond with almost 800 million fans by becoming the patron saints for the expression of the heart.

It all started with the Busby Babes. On 6 February 1958, a charter plane, which carried 44 people crashed at the Munich Airport. The accident killed 23, and notable among these, were eight Manchester United players and three club officials.

The Manager, Sir Matt Busby, survived and like a phoenix birthed a team out of ashes. He went on to make them into serial and stylish winners and created an irreversible bond with the world.

When the Great Busby retired, the team lost its way and fallow years were to follow. There was a long period of nothingness, where they still had a name but were beaten more often than not. These were painful years that I had to endure while growing up in England especially when surrounded by the ABU (Anyone But United) crowd.

Cometh the hour, cometh the man–Sir Alex Ferguson. After almost 25 years of being in the wilderness, success finally came. SAF built a team based on the traditions and principles of Man United and went on to dominate the 1990’s till the day he announced his retirement in 2013 and handed the reigns to an inexperienced manager, David Moyes, who failed miserably and was sacked after only a year.

The fans and owners were afraid a similar fate will follow to what happened when Busby retired, where they had to wait for almost a quarter of a century to see the team lift trophies again. Louis Van Gaal was recruited to restore self-belief and a winning mentality to a group of players who had lost faith.

He came with a great CV; he had won titles and he was a disciplinarian with lots experience. However, he missed the most important criteria of being a Manchester United manager—the ability to allow players, staff and fans to express their feelings and emotions– to play the Man United way with passion and gusto and most of all to allow the players to reflect the fans’ feelings onto the pitch.

Man United had money to spend and afforded him a huge budget recruiting some good players, and when they finally recruited Angel Di Maria, a player who had passion, guile and was full of emotions, I had hope that this player had all the qualities of a United great.

However, Di Maria lasted only a year, becoming a shadow of his true self as he was disheartened by LVG’s philosophy-Players were asked to think and resist using their instinct. LVG epitomised his philosophy by sitting down taking notes while the action was happening a few metres in front of him during the heat of the battle.

The team performances turned from going all out to win to rather trying not to lose. It was slowly being transferred into the team’s ethos. They didn’t lose many games and would often scrape narrow wins, but there was something that just wasn’t right.

I would watch match after match hoping for a change, hoping to see a glimmer of the team’s true identity on the pitch but alas LVG had killed their passion, diminished their creativity and taught them to forget their hearts and instincts and rather focus on their minds.

Football to the real fans is not about solving an engineering problem or getting embroiled in a tactical chess game but a release from the vicissitudes of life. The fans want to breathe, dream and connect to a feeling of joy and hope. They want their hearts to sing, to cry and most of all to feel.

As fans, we had had enough of this hopelessness. Many of us found ourselves being torn between wanting to win the prestigious 2016 FA Cup final and risk LVG staying on as manager (thereby missing the opportunity of landing José Mourinho as our next manager) or losing the cup and ensuring that the hierarchy sacked LVG.

This wasn’t something personal against LVG, but it was much grander. How dare he and the owners forget the golden rule of fans–We watch so that we are emotionally moved. In good times or in bad times, we need to express our subdued feelings.

On Saturday 21st May 2016, I got a text that according to BBC’s Breaking News, Louis Van Gaal would be sacked and replaced by Mourinho. It was a double celebration winning the cup and landing Mourinho. I was emotional and surprised at the depth of my emotions. I was taken aback by my buried frustrations.

José Mourinho boasts an impressive pedigree during his years as a manager, winning nearly every major European title from the Champions League to Series A to the UEFA Cup, 22 titles in total. He is regarded by a number of players, coaches, and commentators as one of the greatest and most successful managers in the world. He is very charismatic, pragmatic and always carries with him a certain wow factor.

I know deep in my heart that Jose Mourinho and Manchester United are a match made in heaven. He is the man to restore back our dignity, our spirit and our identity. How we win and when we win is not the point but what is important is that we regain our identity.

Jose Mourinho is a coach who splits opinion as you either love him or hate him and that for me is the clue. Love and hate are emotions and all I want to be as a fan is to get on that emotional roller coaster and start feeling again.

9 Ways To Fight Smartphone And Internet Addiction

phone-addiction
Photo Credit: Stefan

A few days after writing an article on the dangers of the smartphone and how we delude ourselves into thinking we can do two tasks at same time. I caught a reflection of myself texting instead of enjoying what was our last family dinner in a sumptuous restaurant.

I was ashamed and angry with myself, feeling hypocritical for preaching on the dangers of the smartphone and yet here I was allowing the smartphone to master my mind and take control of my actions.

Has the Phone become an extension of my ego, standing in the way of my true self ? Was I addicted to it and the pleasures it gives me? Did I, now need to enroll into a rehab centre as a Phoneaholic?

As I reflected on this for a few days, I realised that I had become a victim of my bad habits. I needed to change the way I used my phone and Internet time, so I could re-wire the way my mind and actions were following the old programmed pattern.

I had to accept that I was addicted to the smartphone and was also addicted to the information overload that enters through the internet. I would jump from an email to a link, then to a website and a new idea within seconds.

“Whoever controls the media, controls the mind” ― Jim Morrison

I needed to slow things down and especially to limit the information that I’m allowing into my mind. I needed to make some changes and after much trying and testing. I’ve found several ways to reclaim my authority over the smartphone and the internet.

1. Airplane mode is heaven-sent.

Airplane mode is when your phone is technically in a coma and can’t receive or send any information. I now use it very frequently during the day as it’s much easier than putting your phone off and it comes on within seconds.

During those times I’m in airplane mode I know I have to focus and concentrate on whatever I’m doing. The airplane mode gives me the flexibility to keep my phone with me in case of an emergency but at the same time it’s not with me.

2. De-activate all notifications

I have deactivated all notifications from instant messaging, emails and all the various applications I have. I have also grouped all social media in one folder and called it “Social Fun-Time.”I now consciously go the application rather than they come to me.

3. My morning routine without Phone/Internet

I believe that our mornings set the tone of our days.And now the first thing I do when I wake up is to set my phone on airplane mode. I then get into my meditation practice, journal and read.I then look at my current goals and the tasks for the day, drink my coffee and I’m ready to kick-start my day. After Breakfast and only when in my car some 2-3 hours later(depending on my exercise routine) do I check on any messages, emails that I need to respond to urgently before setting off.

4. Mindfulness breaks.

I drink my espresso coffee without any distractions (TV,phone and Internet)for about five minutes. And use it as a time where I just think of nothing and just focus on the skyline, the birds flying above, etc. I usually have three such breaks a day.

I have also set an alarm for every few hours where I take one moment off from whatever I’m doing and just remind myself of my wholeness and that I’m a spiritual being.

Depending on which country I’m in, I will often go for short walks with my phone on airplane mode admiring the sight and sounds around me.

5. Single-Tasking

I set myself only three big tasks every day and I try to get the hardest one done first and do that early before I even look at my phone or check my emails. I switch my phone to airplane mode and focus on my task at hand for 45 minutes before taking a 15 minute break. I keep doing that till I finish my three tasks. I have found these short bursts of concentration have improved the quality of my work.

6. Setting deliberate time for the Internet, emails, etc

I will not look at my email or browse the internet until I’m done with my morning routine and then after I’ve finished one big task at least. This usually occurs at mid-morning, and I give myself thirty minutes where I respond to my emails and do some small tasks that require less time. I usually save all the interesting articles I’ve received to read later on in the day.

Then after lunch I will spend another thirty minutes to browse the internet for news, sports and to read the saved articles from my favorite bloggers, writers and webzines. I also check my emails again.I finally do a final check on my emails in the early evening and read up on anything interesting on the web for another thirty minutes.

7. Batching and splitting tasks

I’ve also found that batching my tasks together is very helpful. Here I group all similar tasks and do them in one focused period. For example, I will return all my calls and emails separate to a time where I browse the net looking for information. Also, I try to set all my meetings in the afternoon as that way I’ve done most of my work, and I’m in a different thinking mode.

8. Getting things done.

Dave Allen created the GTD method, and it works beautifully with the way I think. In his world renowned productivity system, you turn every vague thought into an action, by writing it down either on paper or using an application to do so. This act frees you from the guilt you have on not acting immediately on a thought. And you feel relaxed about focusing on your task at hand rather than surfing the internet to research your idea, or calling a friend that popped into your mind.

9. Digital free time

I’ve set a few half-days a week where I just leave my phone somewhere and just go outside and have fun, whether it’s for a walk, to the beach or playing a fun activity. Sometimes I spend whole mornings writing while I hide my phone far away. My next goal is to have a full 24-hour day without a phone or a computer.

Some may  feel that when you total the amount I spend on the Phone and Internet, then it seems a lot but at least now I’m deliberate, and I’m in control. And I still get to enjoy the benefits of technology as I can’t say enough good things about how accessible information has helped me in my writing.

Others might feel my concerns over the phone are over the top, and there is no harm in texting while waiting in the line, or checking your Instagram account quickly before your next meeting.

However, my point is to slow down my life and try to reduce the noise around me. I want to get closer to my higher self and not feel disempowered by the burden of too much information coming into my mind while at the same time using technology to take me forward.

7 Ways Our Smartphones Are Ruining Our Lives

smartphone
Photo Credit: Mister G.C.

“You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.”-Winston S. Churchill

As Published by Elephant Journal

Multitasking is now a fundamental part of our life that we are comfortable texting while we’re walking across the street, catch up on email while stopping at traffic lights. And worst of all we check on our virtual friends using Facebook, Twitter or Snapchat while having a face-to-face lunch with our real friends.

Multitasking is when one of the tasks needs some critical thinking–Listening to an important presentation while reading emails or doing homework while watching Gossip Girls. This is entirely different from doing two things at the same time without needing any focus like walking and talking or driving and listening to music.

Technology and specifically the smartphone is probably the single biggest contributor to the rise of the multitasking phenomena in our lives today. There are no clear boundaries now as work, rest and play all battle for our wakeful minutes.

It’s usually the kids who set the pace in technology from The web to Facebook, Twitter, and then Instagram.The latest craze being Snapchat, where the kids chronicle and share their days within a few seconds under something called Snapchat story. However, they are sensationalize their stories to keep up with Kardashians and so missing out on living their authentic lives.

There are many advantages to the new technologies, not least that we can access information no matter where we are. We can connect to people and places no matter how remote we find ourselves.

The Smartphone is a great tool that can enhance our lives and enrich our minds. However, we need to be careful so as not be enslaved by them and enamored by their novelty.

The scientific research, led by top neuroscientists on the dangers of multitasking and the abuse of the smartphone is exhaustive, and it’s being studied in top universities around the world from Stanford to UCLA.

These are the seven dangers why multitasking and the smartphone, in particular, is ruining our lives and leading us to be disconnected, dissatisfied and ultimately leading us to an unfulfilled life:

1) Multitasking doesn’t work

Multitasking simply doesn’t work and what we think is multitasking is only task-switching. Our brains are limited when it comes to attention and productivity and are set to complete one task at a time before moving onto the next one. As we switch rapidly from one task to another, we lose focus on both, our productivity suffers, and we limit our chances of getting fully “in the zone” where all magic resides.

Multitasking doesn’t save time, as it probably takes longer to finish two tasks when you’re jumping back and forth than it would, to complete each one separately.

 

2) It leads to mistakes and mediocrity

We make many mistakes when switching tasks causing almost 40% loss in productivity if critical thinking is required. Any new information learned while multi-tasking could go to the wrong part of the brain as the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for organizing information, is easily distracted.

Also, the prefrontal cortex burns up the same fuel, glucose, that it needs for both switching tasks and staying on task. This then leads to the exhaustion of the required glucose levels in the brain that in turn leads to mistakes and compromised work. And it’s little wonder that we feel exhausted and disoriented after doing two tasks at the same time.

3)It causes stress and pain

This repeated switching from task to task leads to anxiety as we need to make lots of decisions. So when you stop your focus on a task to answer a call or email, you are then faced with making a decision, no matter how small that is.

This decision overload takes its toll on us as it raises our heart rate and moves us from the restful-relaxed mode to the fight-or-flight mode. The brain now produces more adrenaline, and our brains are overstimulated causing mental fog. We become impulsive and start making bad decisions. This in turn raises levels of the stress hormone cortisol in the brain, which in turn can lead to serious stress and depression.
4) It could lead to addiction

Whenever we stop our focus on the project on hand and look at how many likes we have on Instagram, for example, we feel this sense of accomplishment. This creates a dopamine-addiction feedback loop, so our brains are being rewarded for losing focus and getting distracted.

Also, our brains are wired so that we feel good when it senses something novel, and it’s the same brain that needs to focus on the task at hand. So again when we check our Instagram likes, we feel instantaneously good, and that constitutes a neural addiction.

5)It could lead to memory loss

When doing two things at the same time and both need our focus, then in reality we are acting a bit like a drunk would. We feel that we’re taking in what is being said but in reality we can’t remember much or apply the knowledge we learned.

6) We feel disconnected and miss out on life and Relationships

When doing two things at the same time, we are simply missing out on the beauty that life has to offer us. We don’t notice our surroundings or our environment. It’s like we are missing in action in our own lives-Our eyes are open and yet nothing is being registered in our brains.

How can we see the majestic oak trees in front of us, the seagulls flying in perfect unison above or the clouds forming artistically like paintings on canvas while taking a walk and texting.

We are losing our ability to interact and listen to each other as texting limits thoughtful discussion. We can’t truly hear each other’s stories as a few lines of text hardly compares to seeing and listening to the other person in front of us.

How can we engage and enjoy our relationships when a family dinner in a restaurant turns into an occasion where all members are on their phones and texting away.

7)It Dampens our creativity

When we focus on one activity, like writing, there is a power in that, it helps guide us to organize our day around that responsibility. We have decided and prioritized it as our anchor task. This feeling of knowing what to do with an end-result in mind helps us to focus all our efforts on a single task, and so our work is decidedly much better.

If you commit to nothing, you’ll be distracted by everything.

We are in a continuous energy-sapping race to respond to so many calls, emails, and the full range of social media updates now available. We have substituted being busy with doing meaningful work and are contributing less to our life and that of others.

When you look at remarkable people who have left their marks on humanity becoming masters of their craft, they all had one thing in common-Great Focus and Concentration.

E.g., Leonardo Da Vinci would spend months on a single project.And Steve Jobs, the inventor of the iPhone, which is probably the single biggest contributor to smartphone multitasking, was famous for his powers of focus and staying on one aspect of creativity for hours on end.

I want to be continually alive, and that requires me to eliminate all the noise that surrounds me, and all that impedes my connection to life.
I want to see the different seasons unveil right in front of my eyes, connect deeply with my loved ones and enjoy the small wonders that life tends to throw at us when we are mindfully present.
I don’t want to feel busy and productive but rather engaged in a meaningful life.
I want to be the master of my smartphone and don’t want it to become an obstacle to my growth and work.

10 Simple Rules to Eating Well For The Rest Of Your Life

After embarking on a self-discovery journey and asking the questions of what helps me to come alive. I’ve found that I can’t just focus on the Mind and the Spirit. The body is also part of me, and what I eat in particular affects my mood and energy.

We need to be aware of how our body works and how we can take care of it, as it houses our mind and spirit. We do it with our cars, sending them to regular maintenance and feeding them with the right oils and fuels so that they serve us well. Moreover, yet we neglect our bodies and what we eat as if it’s something outside of us and under the domain of some separate higher power.

Would we put petrol in our car when it works on diesel? Would we not put water when the car’s radiator warning light says so? However, we stuff ourselves with processed foods, some far worse than drinking a glass of petrol. We don’t drink enough water during the day even when our internal sign says we should.

 

10 Simple Rules to Eating Well For The Rest Of Your Life
Photo Credit: Brook Cagle

I’m not an expert on food; I don’t even know how you would address the so-called experts in the field of Nutrition. However, after so many years of listening to my body, reading countless books and going on many new diet fads. I feel I have some knowing how to eat and what goes into my mouth.

We are all so different, and yet we are made of the same stuff. The more we quiet the noise outside, and listen to those parts of our body that talk to us. Then the more we connect with our primal intuition and know what food is good for us and what isn’t.

“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.”-Hippocrates

Over the years, I’ve found that if I follow the simple guidelines below, I feel energised, sleep well every day and have no digestive concerns whatsoever.

1)Eat Slowly & Mindfully

We need to cultivate our relationship with food and give it the time and focus that it deserves. We should pay attention to the details of our foods with a simple commitment to appreciate, respect and enjoy the food we eat. We should engage our senses to appreciate food’s nourishing qualities, savoring the tanginess of a lemon or the spiciness of a jalapeno pepper. How can we enjoy food when we scoff our lunches in front of a computer within a few minutes?
2) Don’t Feel guilty when eating badly

Our bodies like our minds perform much better, digesting foods quicker when in a restive or relaxed mood rather than in stressful situations. Moreover, when we eat something that we feel we shouldn’t, we feel guilty which then releases stress hormones hampering digestion. Once in a while, a bowl of ice cream or that fully loaded pizza tempts us, so we need to set an intention to enjoy eating it and have no guilt about doing so.

3)Chew our foods well

I went on a nutrition course a while ago, and all I could remember through the bombardment of information was that the only time we had conscious control of our digestion was when we chewed on our foods. Digestion starts in the mouth with the action of our saliva and if we don’t chew well then there is so much more work for our digestive system to do.

4) Drink lots of water

Our bodies are about 70% water, and our brains are 90% water, so it makes us sense to drink lots of water. Our bodies function better when we are hydrated, and it aids in so many aspects of the body like in digestion, maintaining body temperature, energizing muscles and taking care of the kidneys. Water also flushes out toxins and some studies suggests, it even improves our mood.

Drinking eight glasses or two liters a day is usually enough but it all depends on the person, the climate we are in and how active we are. The best indicator is your urine color which needs to be as close to clear as possible.

5) Avoid Processed Foods

Processed food is any food that has been altered from its natural state in some way or another. They include many foods that are readily available in fast-food joints and regular supermarkets and vary from Microwave meals to breakfast cereals, fruit juices, soft drinks, savory snacks, chocolates, many cheeses, and bread. The list is endless.

6)Eat Colorful Vegetables

Only 10% of the world meet the recommended daily amount of vegetable intake needed, so many of us are missing on their benefits. All the nutrients found in fruits are also in vegetables, and yet we eat more fruits.

I was waiting to start a running race when I got talking to an Italian runner, and we discussed eating. He told me how he had lived with his Mama’s advise on vegetables, making it a habit to eat 3-5 different colors of vegetables per day.

7)Eat fruits on an empty stomach

Fruits can be beneficial as they are natural detoxifiers and help in the digestive process. However, always eat fruit on an empty stomach as our body uses different enzymes to digest fruit. Moreover, it needs to process the nutrients and the fiber separately. Also, we need to be careful as fruits have so much sugar in them, e.g., an Apple has 19 grams of sugar or almost 5 teaspoons of sugar.

8)Avoid All Sugars

We all know how bad sugar is, and of its negative effect on our bodies. Sugar is better known as “Sweet Poison”, and recent studies have shown it to be as addictive as cocaine.

I freely admit I’m a sugar addict, and I’m trying hard to overcome my addiction. And as I’m writing now about sugar, there is an ingrained desire in me that is sending a signal to my salivary glands. This in turn makes my brain react sending neurotransmitters around to prepare my body for some sugar, and I’m eyeing the chocolate bar in front of me.

Sugar tampers with our dopamine receptors, and we are always looking for the next stronger hit of sugar. I stopped sugar and fruits for two weeks and saw first hand how addictive it is. The minute I had a piece of cake, then I wanted something else that night and woke up next morning with a craving for sugar.

Sugar has two parts; the good part being Glucose, which our body needs and the nasty one known as Fructose that goes directly to the liver. This induces less insulin production, triggering hunger signals in the brain, and rather than utilize this sugar for energy, our body often turns fructose into liver fat. It is this Fructose that needs to be eliminated from our diets.

Sugar is everywhere in our foods and diets from alcohol to refined carbohydrates. We need to be vigilant with labels to check the carbohydrate content with the amount of sugar they contain. And we always need to remember that every 4.4 grams of sugar make one full teaspoon of sugar.

9) Know your Food

We have a responsibility to know what we put in our mouths. We need to understand what is good and not so good for us by trial and error. We need to check labels, know the sources of whom we buy our food from. We must have a general idea of the differences between Protein, Carbohydrates(fast and slow), Fibre, Fats, Fruits, and Vegetables.

We also need to plan what we are eating every day so if we over eat at lunch, then compensate by having a lighter dinner. Alternatively, if we exercised in the morning, then a heavier snack is needed.

However, it’s also important not to overwhelm ourselves with details and to keep everything simple. For me, I just like to know in the morning what I’m eating for the upcoming day.

10)Listen to your Body

There is a great story I read in an article where a Native American asks the Caucasian if he is hungry. The Caucasian looks at his watch and says “there’s an hour left for lunch time so let’s wait a bit.” The Native American man shakes his head and says: “Only you white men tell by the time on a clock whether you’re hungry or not.”

Eat when you are Hungry. Eat when your body sends you a message and not because you need to follow a set time of eating. Don’t eat because you need to comfort yourself. Don’t eat when you are bored.

For me, listening to my body has meant eating every three hours splitting my main meals with smaller snacks and never eating three hours before I sleep.

Second Thoughts on Valentine’s Day

Second Thoughts on Valentine's DayWhen you See Love with All your heart you shall find its Echoes in the Universe-Rumi

 

I used to look at Valentine’s Day as a kind of false occasion, something created to sell cards, gifts and countless red roses by Hallmark. I hated the fuss about it, argued with everyone about its authenticity and completely removed it from my calendar to the annoyance of the women I dated.

History, Literature and Mythology have described love to us in many beautiful ways. However, I never understood the effect of love and always viewed it something separate to me like a kind of sickness that afflicts the weak. I picked up a book describing the love communiqué between Henry Miller and Anaïs Nin and couldn’t appreciate the beauty of their words.

I read about Richard Burton’s fiery relationship with Elizabeth Taylor, but I couldn’t understand why they would fight so much and then makeup, then fight and make up again. I was thinking Richard, man up. I read of Anthony dying because he thought Cleopatra was dead, and she then killed herself because he died, and I refused to believe that such a tough general would be brought down by love. After love struck, I got a rude awakening and found out that I wasn’t as tough as I imagined myself to be. Actually I wasn’t much stronger than Bambi. I went through the full motions: the good, the bad and the downright ugly.

I survived and changed the way I looked at many things so the things I looked at changed. I had now experienced love and knew all about love.

Love is much more than pure romantic love, but it’s in romantic love that our hearts are smashed wide open, and we start feeling rather than thinking our way towards life.

Love teaches you many lessons, which include compassion, forgiveness and connection. Love shows you unlimited possibilities on how you can become a greater, bigger person.

 

When I think of love,

I think of joy but also despair,

I think of laughs but also tears,

I think of open minds allowing open hearts,

I think of big open hearts with scars and wounds,

I think of those letters between Henry and Anais,

I think of Richard Burton and Liz Taylor gouging each other’s eyes out,

I think of Scheherazade’s story-telling to charm King Shahryar not to kill her.

I think of Penelope waiting and waiting for Odysseus

I think of Anthony dying for Cleopatra and she for him

I think of Qays (majnoun) going mad for Layla

Oh, what grand stories of love we have,

If you can’t find one,

If you can’t be in one,

Then stop living now.

Go die as a love-less soul,

or even worse go live a soul-less love.

 

Unfortunately we have compartmentalised this feeling of love as if it’s only for that moment with that person, or only meant at a certain period of your life.

In reality, it’s a doorway to your heart and an opportunity to live a wholehearted kind of life. It’s introducing us to the concept that love is for everyone, in every moment and with everyone and everything.

Love opens your heart but doesn’t guarantee you won’t get hurt anymore. On the contrary, when you walk around with an open heart, you might get hurt more. It’s like removing the safety net beneath you. It’s like when anaesthesia wears out, and you feel again. Yes, it hurts but at least you know what’s going on now. Your feelings become true, real and a guide to what your heart truly wants for you.

I now feel gentler, softer and feel my heart expanding from within. I truly understand what all the fuss is about, and I finally get it that love is the universal language. I know I’m bleeding openly for many to look at, and many will find me an easy target to ridicule, put down or even hurt. It may mean a few more tears, a few more wounds or even scars, but I’m ready to put my vulnerabilities on the table.

I feel real, I feel me, and I feel good.

I reread the letters between Henry Miller and Anaïs  Nin and know that it’s only love that can create such magical words. I understood all the turmoil that Richard Burton felt in his relationship with Liz Taylor and see him as one courageous soul as not many can stay alive when a tornado meets a volcano. I get it that no matter how powerful Mark Anthony was; he was also a human being in love. The beauty of love is that it makes us all equal.

I have a renewed respect for Valentine’s Day and now feel the real outpouring of love on this special day from everyone and everything around me. I know it’s not just about that one day, but it’s a symbol of what love could be all about. I look at it as a celebration of all those who are in love, all those who were in love and all those who will fall in love.

I know that this day was also meant to acknowledge all the true heroes of love; those who had their hearts broken yet refuse to close their hearts. Those who love unconditionally not caring to be loved back. Those who get disappointed on Valentine’s day, yet ready to do it all over again and again.

I wish all true lovers a Happy Valentine’s Day as they would rather live a day in love then a lifetime without.