I’ve left the city with its politics and turmoil to visit my late mother’s burial site in the village. It’s only for the weekend, but I thought it would be chastening. It was for most of the time but only because I wasn’t letting go of my City-mentality which is one fraught with arrogance, ego, and materialism.
As I drove towards the village, my attitude was one of superiority-why would I want to make myself suffer without all the trappings of the city life? For example, it’s an especially hot day, and there is no air-conditioning at the house I’m staying at. The flies are everywhere and are as annoying as hell as they attack non-stop, and I got to appreciate why we use flies as metaphors for stickiness.
It’s now late in the evening, and the sun is setting.I’m sitting on a plastic chair on the balcony in spartan surroundings.In front of me, I can see a mountain and below me a valley. I can hear the birds sing, and I’m watching the trees stand tall and be still with utter reverence. I am in absolute solitude.
Finally, a slight breeze approaches with a chill that hits my face and neck and runs down my body. I get that gratifying feeling as I watch the skyline change colors from Orange to light blue. The sun and the moon briefly share the sky. The sun goes down leaving the moon, and the stars to light up the sky. I suddenly feel connected to the universe and feel so alive.
The distressed thoughts I brought along with me from the city have magically disappeared as I enjoy the peace around me. This inner peace is something that is difficult to describe. It’s like I’ve tapped into a universal source that instantly frees me as if I have hit a reset button to my biochemistry.
Thoughts are like clouds,
they come and go.
Thoughts are like rumors,
some true but most are not.
Sixty thousand thoughts a day,
so how can we be every one of them?
Some thoughts consume us
and govern our minds.
They turn to murmurs
that destroy our lives.
And yet, all we have to do is
sit still and watch them
drift away and further away.
How can we hear our truths
or Plug into our source
Until and Unless we quiet that Monkey-Mind?
All the anxiety I carried with me is gone. That nagging inner voice in my head has also gone. My shoulders so tense before, are now loose, and the throbbing headache I had has left me. I can hear sounds from very far, and I can see clearly in high definition up to the horizon of the sea.
I have become a spiritual being who knows that I’m not my worries or my ruminating thoughts-I am in solitude.
The more I find ways to get in solitude, the more I love myself. It’s a deepening love of myself, one that I now know exists and see as an essential part of my life.
We all live busy and noisy lives and manage to fret away hours on people, tv ,surfing the net, driving and yet we don’t manage to give ourselves 30 minutes of solitude a day.
I can’t say enough about how solitude has helped me in my life. I have learned to enjoy myself alone, reflect and analyze what is right for me. I have learned to distinguish between the noises that torment me from the music that enliven me.
I have started appreciating time alone out in nature and being out in the open more often than not. I now love to stare in awe at the beauty of life that is around me, whether it’s a 100-year old tree or a flock of seagulls flying just above me.